Okay, after writing that pointless smut (That, apparently, scarred a 13 year old girl for life) and promising that I would write something productive in MBaV afterwards, here it is. I actually was originally planning to write this on my Humor/Darkness/etc account, but I figure I might as well since I promised on this account.
Been working on guides due to inspiration of Skyskater, who writes some good stories, I think they're all Anime fandoms, but I'm too lazy to check.
I apologize in advance for wasting your time.
Ethan: …So first you have someone rape me, and now I have to guide people through the impossible?
Pretty Much, yes.
Benny: Why don't I get to do anything?
Erica: I swear, if you write something bad about me…
Ethan: *Backs away slowly*
Benny: HELLOOO?
If you're bored do the disclaimer.
Benny: . Sturbanger does not own MBaV, or us. (Thank goodness. Who knows what he would do with us.) He doesn't own any of the references made here, and if you sue him you're going to end up with a debt the size of the U.S's. Insert other disclaimer-y stuff here. He doesn't own XKCD either, but you may wanna visit because there are a million and 14 references to it.
My So-Called Life.
Uhh…Hello internet people. My name is Ethan Morgan and I live in White Chapel, a town in Canada where things aren't exactly normal. Although, if you're in this section, you probably know that. Well, like the title implies, this is my online guide to White Chapel, The Supernatural, and, most difficult of all, High School, graciously published by Sturbanger. Trust me, these three things should NEVER be allowed to mix together. At the very least, try to graduate high school before you start dabbling in the supernatural, and if you do, please don't move here. There is enough stress here for me, thank you very much.
For, you see, I'm a Seer. Sometimes, usually when I come in contact with something of supernatural origin (Crap, I'm starting to sound boring…) (Publisher's Note: Yes. Yes you are.) I can see into the future and all that. It's not an ability that you want if you want to avoid suddenly freezing up and staring into space in public and saying something along the lines of, "Oh Shit…" for no apparent reason because, of course, I never see any visions with any positive meaning whatsoever. Except once, where I saw a Rebecca Black Concert after…getting pushed into Sarah. And I'm still wondering if that technically has any positive meaning, for the Halley's Comet-like ellipse of every one of her song lyrics still plague the internet.
My best friends are Rory and Benny, who you probably know. Then there is Sarah and Erica, resident vampires. You know them all (Probably) But I'll give you a little sketch of them anyways.
Sarah is a really cool vampire. She's nice, she doesn't drink human blood so she's still partially human (Although she started gnawing on my table once when I got a paper cut. My parents still think we were fooling around with Forks. Who pokes holes in tables with forks?) and she's…uhh…An amazing person. Let's move on quickly now…
Rory is…he's Rory. You'll get to know him well, because I have a feeling he'll be doing something stupid every other hour and I'll be compelled to write about it to keep all your mortal minds occupied and entertained. He's been switching it up lately, I think he just can't make up his mind between Rory Vampire and Vampire Ninja. So he's going around wearing jet black body-hugging suit with a hood, a badly-designed shirt that says "Rory Vampire" that completely kills the point of having a secret identity (He even has one of those black eye-masks tucked in his pocket!), and his normal clothes. And, of course, he's probably going to be listening to 10,000 decibel rock music through his iWhateverThey'reMakingNow that you can hear from five miles away. He's trying to compose a theme song, but you can guess how THAT is going…
Erica used to be part of our social class, meaning she used to be a Straight A student with glasses and all. Then of course she transformed into a Vampire, grew breasts, got perfect eyesight and night vision, and basically became one of the most popular girls in school. Then of course came the whole Smart+Hot+StrongEnoughToKillBill combination. And now she won't come within ten feet of the rest of us (excluding Sarah) in public.
Benny has an unnatural obsession with gaming (Please ignore the fact that I'm the person he's playing with.) He also has a habit of failing. He's a self-proclaimed technological master, who can't open a door after ten minutes of hotwiring a car. He's also a self-proclaimed Spell Master, who can somehow CURSE HIS BEST FRIEND AND MAKE SAID BEST FRIEND BECOME A NAKED HUMAN AGAIN IN FRONT OF SARAH AND ERICA instead of casting a simple reveal on an obvious werewolf. But I'm not bitter…Excuse me for a moment. I'll finish introductions later. I have to log on and shoot someone a few times…
Ethan Morgan
Off to shoot Benny.
My Bedroom
Just a short introductory chapter, because, as I said in my pure-smut, this series deserves more than a couple fanfictions. It deserves the 1300 more stories it needs to get in the top 100.
Hope you liked it.
No Flames, Or Ethan and I shall shoot you several times. And you will not like it.
