It's my first time writing L and I'm so nervous. ;-;

It was such a beautiful experience making him snap, seeing the look on his face as the older man knelt at his feet, tears streaming down his face, and whispered the words that Beyond had so desperately wanted to hear.

I love you.

Obsession is such a fantastic word. Lust even better. However... Love tops all the words, love is cruel and ugly, a disgusting, hot, horrible, thing. Love conquers all.

However, love clearly wasn't enough for L as he was tortured in that same room, it'd taken months in that room to crack.

It hadn't always been hell for L, as you know, the horrendous events in the following story started far before this ended.


"L," Watari entered the room, unusually shocked for the man. L, having previously awoken from night terror, lay on the floor, head facing the wall. He didn't quite understand why he exercised the pointless activity of attempting to sleep soundly, he was sure it wasn't going to happen any time soon.

"L," Watari said again, shaking the detective and stepping back, not pausing in delivering the next news, partially hoping his protégée wouldn't hear, "A's dead."

"Mmm, how did that happen?" L mused, still staring blankly at the cold wall.

"Suicide."

L shot up, "He did what?"

L was familiar with A, he was periodically shipped updates on the children at Wammy's, and A was always one of his favourites to read about, the boy surely had potential, his background was also a brilliant read.

L felt momentarily disgusted at himself for holding a dead boys life as a harmless story.

"He... killed himself," Watari looked at the floor, "the funeral is on Thursday. I think it would be for the best if we attended."

L nodded slowly, standing. It was Wednesday at that point, which meant they'd probably have to fly out immediately.

"Watari," he asked hesitantly as the other man began to leave the room.

"Yes?" he said, turning back to face the seemingly composed younger boy.

"Why did he do it?"

"I – I don't know. Everyone said he was fine. Beyond and him were a bit... odd, but he was otherwise normal."

Watari left the room, leaving L alone with his thoughts. He nibbled on the skin on his thumb anxiously, slowly picking himself up and proceeding to dress. By this point, he had crushed any lingering thoughts or emotions about the boy he would've happily called his successor down and he was sinking back into his usual apathetic self.

L felt ashamed for not noticing this sooner.


The rain slid down the windowpanes, merging together and rushing down in a torrent of water and depression. A heavy cloud had settled over Wammy's, and per usual for heavy clouds, they brought cliché rain, and a funeral.

Beyond watched the funeral from that place on the stairs; for fear that if he was outside, he would jump into the coffin and demand to be buried alongside his friend, just like a typical freak. A week earlier, his best friend had killed himself, no one quite knows why, but most think it's because of the pressure that was put on him by Wammy's, by him.

A always wanted to be just like L, it was his dream to have the man congratulate him on his achievements, and BB congratulating him on how he did in tests never seemed to get him off in such a way that a smile from L most likely would.

Beyond hated L for this, it was all his fault that his best friend was dead. It was also his fault that he met his best friend, but that's beside the point.

B tensed as someone came up behind him, turning round too see an uncomfortable looking boy in a suit. Beyond took in his facial features, soft pale skin, large eyes with unnaturally black irises, hair that looked like it'd never seen a comb, and a solemn smile.

"I'm sorry," the boy whispered, "for all of this."

"It's not like it's your fault," Beyond sniffed, turning back round to watch as they settled the coffin into the ground. Why even bury him on the school grounds? They weren't blessed; he'd be one of the first to rise from the dead when hell was full.

Because after all, we all must be going to hell.

"It is actually. I'm L."

Beyond didn't react past a slight smile, "I see," he said, looking the boy known as L up and down, memorising him, "well, whatever. Have fun mourning your broken doll, you twat, I'm off."

He brushed L's hand from his shoulder, shoved his hands in his pockets, and fled rather calmly down the stairs... somehow.

L watched him leave.

They'd told him that Beyond was a little weird, but he didn't anticipate the horror of the aura that the boy emitted.