Jane remembers fragments.

She remembers colors and lights and Jake's arm on her chest, she remembers gravity pulling her forward, hitting the dashboard, she remembers something warm and sticky flowing down her temple, she remembers loud sirens and Jake's vacant stare.

She remembers the nurse telling her your boyfriend didn't make it, I'm sorry, remembers the police saying a truck crashed into the driver's side of your car, the driver was drunk, we're very sorry, remembers her father baking and baking and telling her I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry Jane.

She remembers the funeral, the rain crashing on her face, the casket being lowered into the ground, Jake's grandmother crying.

She goes out for coffee every day now. She didn't drink coffee much, but Jake always took her out for coffee in their dates.

Dad calls her every day, even though he had stopped doing that years ago.

Every day she wishes she had died in that car with him.

She moves out, she remembers too much of what happened in their apartment.

Eventually it hurts less.

She stops going out for coffee, dad stops calling so much, she doesn't loather herself that much anymore.

Sometimes it's raining and she remembers the funeral, sometimes a truck flashes its light and she remembers that night.

That's when it hurts more.

One day it doesn't hurt.

Not consciously anyway.

She steps into her shower

Washes her hair

Gets out and dries herself

Goes to work

Goes to the store

Goes home

Eats dinner

And as she lies in bed she realizes she didn't think of him all day.

Not remembering him becomes the norm.

Sometimes she remembers and it's like that truck crashing into her again.

But that doesn't happen a lot.

She goes out for coffee because she felt like it, not to remember him.

And she meets a girl.

She has a bright smile and blond hair and pink eyes.

Her name is Roxy and she is very fun to be with so Jane has fun with her.

First they're friends

Then they're dating

Eventually Jane remembers

She takes Roxy to that intersection and holds her hand and says

This is where my boyfriend died.

And she breaks down in Roxy's arms.

Roxy holds her and doesn't say anything. She just keeps her from falling.

She doesn't say a word until Jane does.

That night they don't sleep, huddled under the sheets in Roxy's bed, talking about dead boyfriends and dead mothers.

One summer, Jane can't remember when, Roxy is standing on the middle of a field of flowers, a daisy behind her ear, smiling at Jane.

She says you should open that bakery, it's your dream.

Jane says don't be silly, where would I get the money.

Roxy laughs and hugs Jane and promises her I will help you, I will work for 18 hours if I must, just so you can have your little corner bakery.

It's late at night and Jane is concentrated on Roxy's features as she sleeps, tangled in their bedsheets.

And she realizes

She remembered how to love again.