CHAPTER 1 – Broken-hearted Girl.

It felt really good to win, Santana thought, as she walked the halls of West McKinley High School. She looked above her to admire the banner that read:

'Congratulations New Directions. Best show choir in the USA.'

She breathed in deeply, pausing to take in the sight. From every direction, students of the high school seemed to recognize her from the glee club, and smiled in respect at her new found status. Never did Santana ever expect to win last year, what with Mr Schue being distracted with his Marriage to Miss Pillsbury and Rachel fretting desperately over the slight break in her voice the night of the competition. But as usual, all had pulled through and they had been awarded with first place. One place ahead of Vocal Adrenaline.

But that was last year. Now, the summer was over, and Santana had to accept that things were going to be different. Things weren't going to be as joyful and as carefree as they had been in the summer – and not just because of a win at Nationals.

Sensing people were beginning to feel annoyed at Santana's position in the centre of the hallway, she retreated to the side by the millions of lockers that were being smashed repeatedly, one after the other. Usually, she found this irritating but it was actually quite comforting, considering the circumstances with the events in the summer and what all that had lead to, now. She didn't really want to think about how school was going to be now that things had changed. She hoped people wouldn't see through her cracked demeanour and only focussed on the new fragrance she had just bought, or the lip gloss she was wearing. Either one, she didn't care.

She was on her way to the first glee club meeting of the new school year. As she walked in to the choir room, her eyes naturally took her to her usual seat – the seat next to Brittany. She remembered how all summer she had dreamed of this day, when she would just walk into that room and take one look at the blonde girl, and nestle down next to her, not giving a damn what everyone else thought. She could have if she wanted to – but how after so much had changed?

Mercedes was the first to speak up. "So, Santana, you finally decide to join us?"

Santana knew she was late, but she didn't want any attention from it. She had her reasons.

"I had a bigger lunch than usual." She snapped back, instantly stealing a glance at the blonde who was sat obliviously in her usual place. "Like I've told you before, I have a weakness for double offerings."

It was true. All through the summer, she had been so blissfully happy, that she had eaten more than usual and had gained a few pounds. The extra weight did her justice though, but she wasn't sure it would remain for much longer. She hadn't had an extra lunch. She hadn't even had one. She had, instead, been hiding in the girl's bathroom, listening to the sounds of their sweet voices chatting to one another, making her feel weak and overwhelmingly depressed. School, she had thought, sucked.

Mercedes knew better than to argue with Santana, so she sat back and shrugged her shoulders. The rest of the glee club eyed her suspiciously as she walked straight past Brittany, up to the top of the raised floor and settled there. Brittany turned her head sharply and burrowed her eyebrows, staring straight at Santana. Nothing was said and nothing was done. Brittany turned back round, obviously hurt by the reaction she had got from the beautiful girl. Santana noticed her looking for a hand to hold next to her but as expected, she found none. It hurt Santana to see Brittany so confused. She wished she could go over to her, bend down in front of her eyes and tell her with as much truth as she could that everything was okay, and that she wasn't so incredibly mad at her that she felt like doing cosas malas to the poor innocent girl. Except she couldn't because Brittany wasn't innocent. Well, not in the physical sense anyway.

Santana was relieved to see Mr Schue's face walk through the door because her body was telling her to move to Brittany's side and kiss her on all her broken edges, and she knew she couldn't do that.

"New Directions!" He exclaimed, clapping his hands together. "A very small New Directions."

The choir looked around at each other. It wasn't right seeing them so small and so insignificant. For a fleeting moment, Santana felt a tremendous wave of grief at the memory of the four classmates who had all moved on. New Directions just didn't feel right without them. Santana knew the drill when people left the choir; new people had to be brought in.

"Are we going to have to audition with all the newbies that wants to get up in our club?" She asked, her voice monotone and low.

Mr Schue was taken aback. "Gosh, no, Santana. You guys are the originals. I can't afford to lose you lot. You're staying, there is no need to worry about that." He pursed his lips together. "However, we do have to find another four people to join this club, so I'm putting up a sign up sheet outside the choir room and hopefully students will put their names down." He noticed their uncomfortable shifting. "Come on, guys, we knew this day was going to come. One day, I'll be left with none of you, and think how hard that will be for me. You guys are going to be making the final calls, anyway."

Mercedes and Tina broke into excited conversation at this point, as did Mike and Sam. Santana wished with all her heart that she could with Brittany, but she knew she had to stay glued to her chair. She closed her eyes so the image of a lost, 'innocent' blonde would leave her view. When she opened them, Kurt and Lauren were now in the midst of another excited conversation.

Oh please, she thought. Will this glee club ever not get excited at the most stupidest things?

"So here is the sheet music in which we will ask the students to sing." Mr Schue handed Santana a copy. She looked down and nearly snorted.

"Mr Schue," She began, "this is like the most over played, over sung and over used song that there is in this universe. Surely you could have picked a better song which demonstrates the person's ability to make it better, because this song..." she indicated the sheets in her hands, "cannot be done better than when it is done by us." She looked around the room at all the happy people and decided to be honest. "Mainly me."

"Exactly, Santana." Mr Schue enthused, causing the Latina to frown. "Thank you for pointing that out. You see, if we are going to build up the standard we had for the last two years, we are going to have to select a song in which the students have to sing better than us."

The club frowned. Some raised their eyebrows.

"Okay, to the level in which we are at-" He continued.

"Which is unbeatable." Santana interrupted. Again, being honest.

"Santana?" Mr Schue said, looking at her. She got the message. "The auditions will be held after school today, so I need at least two of you to stay behind." He looked around, questioningly.

Santana hated staying after school. The only time she had ever done so (which, in fact, was quite a lot) was when she had detention and usually she appreciated that time because she wasn't stuck at a house where her mom did nothing but watch TV and her dad was always away at work. She hated silence. And that's why she hated her house.

"I'll stay, Mr Schue." She offered, raising her hand slightly, as if to lessen the fact she had actually volunteered. She looked around at all the surprised faces. "What?" She asked, defensively. "We don't want another singer who looks like Rachel Berry and another who has weird custard nipples, like Finn. I'm doing us a favour. I keep it real, and therefore the students who audition will be keeping it real."

The room went silent for a while. Mr Schue nodded his head slightly, and waited for another volunteer. It didn't take long.

"I'll stay." The blonde raised her hand high. "As long as you don't mind me eating the cat food that Lord Tubbington refused to have this morning." She looked around at all the disgusted faces. "What, you can't let food go to waste. There are kids at Breadstix who are starving."

Another silence filled the room but this time it was broken by Tina. "Well, Mike and I have a meeting with his mom about the importance of contraception so we can't make it."

"Yeah and I promised Sam I would help him move stuff at his new house." Mercedes added, stealing a smile at her boyfriend who returned the gesture.

Mr Schue looked at Kurt and Lauren. Kurt admitted he had a date with Blaine that he couldn't cancel and Lauren complained of a stomach ache. Santana snorted.

Probably from all those burgers you ate at lunch, big girl.

"So it's settled." Mr Schue began, looking from Santana to Brittany and back again. "You two will help me choose the four New Directions."

The club laughed just as the bell went for their next lesson.

"How many people am I gonna have to fight for lead singer, Mr Schue?" Santana questioned, taking a seat next to her teacher in the auditorium.

"Who said anything about fighting?" He replied, frowning at her.

"My cats fight." Brittany said, innocently.

Silence.

"Right," Said Mr Schue, "Let's get the first person in."

The first person was terrible, Santana thought. They were short and Zises-fat and Santana thought they smelt like a stagnating pile of rotting onions. She was put off onions for life. She made Don't Stop Believing sound like it was being released by Puck's ass. The second wasn't much better. She wore a large fur coat that looked like it had been taken directly off a bull's privates. Santana booed her before she even started singing, which resulted in a deafening glare from Mr Schue. She was just being honest.

The third person was different. He looked young, maybe about fifteen, and he had short black her and a decidedly cute grin. Santana naturally looked to Brittany to raise her eyebrows but remembered her inner anger for the girl and went to turn away. But she saw Brittany's face looking at her phone and giggling at something on the screen and her whole attitude changed. Santana felt sick. She thought she was going to cry.

Not know, Lopez. You're from a part of town called Lima Heights Adjacent. No one cries there.

The boy spoke into his microphone with the cutest British accent she had ever heard.

"My name is Max and I'm going to sing Disney's 'When She Loved Me." He blushed a little. "I can't sing the requested song, sir. It gives me bad memories." Mr Schue nodded acceptingly, closing his eyes slightly in empathy. Max adjusted the microphone to suit his medium frame. Mr Schue nodded in appreciation and Max began.

Oh fucking hilarious. Santana thought, rolling her eyes at his song choice. She looked at Brittany and the sick feeling returned.

She turned her attention back to Max. His British accent came through in his singing and Santana couldn't help but feel drawn to his voice. It was actually pretty good. But she couldn't concentrate properly because the lyrics kept poking her in the heart.

...Through the summer and the fall,

we had each other, that was all,

just she and I together,

like it was meant to be.

...And when she was lonely,

I was there to comfort her,

and I knew that she loved me.

Santana sighed desperately. Brittany didn't notice her discomfort because all she was going was checking her phone every now and again and smiling widely when she noticed there was a message. Why had she agreed to this?

"Thank you, Max." Mr Schue said when the boy had finished. "That was great. I'm sorry you couldn't sing the requested song. But you have a lovely voice, anyway."

Santana smiled at Max and noticed his cheeks flush. The next three people that tried out were, like the first two, awful and Santana couldn't help but think that with Finn, Puck, Rachel and Quinn, they had taken all the talent with them to New York. She wished she was a year older so she could have left this dump. Saying that, if things had turned out differently at the end of the summer, she would not be wishing that at all. Not at all.

When the auditions were over, Mr Schue looked at both Brittany and Santana as if to say, 'it was worth a try', thanked them and got up to leave.

"Hey, wait, Mr Schue, that British kid was kinda good, you gotta let him in." Santana argued, confused at her teacher's expression. "Yes, he sang a baby kid's song, and true, he did blush every time I looked at his face, but I can tolerate the attention if it means New Directions can be complete again."

Mr Schue smiled at Santana's 'modesty' and agreed with her, before leaving the room, leaving the Latina with the one blonde who knew her best. There was silence for ages before Brittany decided to speak.

"We're never going to be complete again."

"I'm sorry?"

"New Directions." Brittany looked up, glad that her best friend finally spoke to her, even if it was harshly. "We're never going to be complete again."

Santana frowned at the dancer.

"Because I lost my voice, and I don't know where it's gone."

Santana didn't know what to say. She just stood there frowning, not knowing whether to look at the girl or anywhere but. She didn't even know if she should answer. She was confused at Brittany's words.

"If I had told you that last year, you would have given me your usual frown but then you would have helped me look for it." Brittany looked down at her lap, sadly. "Can you help me look for it?"

Santana shook her head. She didn't understand. She knew Brittany was right; she would have helped her look for it last year, last week maybe, even though she knew her voice would come back when she was better (if that was actually the problem – she couldn't quite tell) but now things were different and now Brittany had done things that Santana wasn't ready to forgive.

"I don't know where you would have put it." She eventually decided on and then added rather fiercely, "Why don't you ask your new boyfriend, maybe he will help you?" before stalking out of the room.

She hated leaving the girl so lost and confused behind her but she convinced herself it was for her own good. It really was. Brittany had been disloyal. That was that. She realised it would be hard to move on because, fuck, she loved the girl more than she loved anything else but nothing would ever change the events of the past summer. Nothing. Her heart would have to break. It already had.

When she arrived for the glee meeting on the second day, she was late. Again, the chair next to Brittany was available but she chose to ignore it. Again, more confused stares. Santana thought she would get tired of this.

Mr Schue introduced Max to the rest of the choir before settling them all down for some "fantastic news" he was about to tell them. He looked overjoyed and Santana wasn't sure if she could take another excitable person. Firstly, she'd had Tina skip up to her this morning to tell her that Mike had taken her on some out-of-this-world date to the local Chinese where he had proposed to her but not to marry him but to commit to him for another year and secondly, she'd been re-applying her lip gloss in the mirror of her locker door, when Brittany had received a text standing next to her with her head in the next door locker and had squeaked rather loudly at something it said. The sick feeling had flooded her again and she'd had to slam her locker door real loud to drown out the pain in her stomach, which had caused Brittany to jump fairly badly. Santana had smirked as she'd sauntered off.

"...so Figgins and I have decided to use the money we won from Nationals to travel to London to spend a couple of weeks with Up and Away out there."

Santana shook her head. "Sorry, who?"

"Oh, Santana, were you not just listening?" Kurt said, exasperated. "There's a glee club in England and they have informed Mr Schue of a onetime International Show Choir Competition in London in December. We've got the opportunity to spend time with them and enter."

Santana looked up at Mr Schue in disbelief. They hadn't even got a full glee club and now he was taking them halfway across the world to enter into a worldwide competition with a glee club they had never even met. What exactly was he on? Crack?

"I know this is a lot to take in, but I think it's an opportunity we simply can't miss." He looked around the choir room, a small smile pinching at the corners of his mouth. "So, who's up for it?"

A sea of hands rose like balloons in the air. Besides Santana's. Brittany turned round to notice her friend's limp and unsatisfied position. She quickly lowered her hand and smiled to herself when, as soon as she did, Santana's hand rose. She knew that she would go if she wasn't there. She knew that Santana wouldn't go anywhere she was going. It hurt but she wanted Santana to be happy.

Mr Schue clapped his hands together, seemingly forgetting about Brittany, and got to work planning their trip.

Santana stole a glance at Brittany. Had her friend made the right decision, not going? She knew how much Brittany wanted to visit England and how excited her face had been when their teacher had told them. She felt incredibly guilty. Her heart broke into more tiny pieces and she listened sadly as they fell to the ground one by one, without a shudder of a vibration; a never ending waterfall of broken promises and wasted dreams.

That's right. Wasted dreams.