Chapter 1:
TRIS POV:
Two words. Terror and tragedy. That is all I need to explain my life.
When I was 14 my best friend, Tobias Eaton, was forced to move away, as his father had been relocated for his job. The day he told me is still etched into my mind, impossible to remove. That night was the change of my life, change of the course of my future, and it all started with a few words.
Flashback:
I stand outside his home waiting for the familiar creak of the wooden door, signaling he was finally outside. I take a seat on the steps to his doorway, my body facing the empty street, the street lights illuminating the roads.
I know that his beating must have been bad tonight, as he is usually only late for our meetings when he gets them. Considering he is thirty seven minutes late, he must still be wrapping his back up with the wrap I gifted him with a few months ago. Although, I feel as though I should start to head home, I'm content on staying until I find out if he is okay or not.
Only a few minutes past twelve does he come out dressed in a loose jacket, and jeans with a few holes on the knees, exposing very little skin. His hair is wet and his back is slumped in an uncomfortable way, too stiff to be able to arch. I watch as he slowly but surely comes to join me on his steps, carefully lowering himself down into the spot against the rail next to me. He casually leans forward, placing his elbows on his knees, connecting his hands together in front of him.
"Hey." he speaks, his voice rough yet soothing.
"Hey." I say, focusing back onto the vacant street.
"I'm sorry it took me so long to get out here," he says, "It was a rough night."
My eyes glance back up at him, our gazes connecting and his fascinating deep ocean blue eyes seem to search for an answer in mine. There is a comfortable moment of silence before I speak up again, "It's fine, I understand."
We stay there for a few more moments before he rises, extending his hand out to me. I gently grab it, careful not to use his help, but just to act like it, as I stand myself.
"Let's go before we get caught." He states pulling me with him as he walks along the sidewalk by the houses. We stop in front of the gates to my backyard, and I release our hands using both of mine to unhook the latch on the gate, swinging it open. Tobias and I silently walk through the gate, him closing it behind him, and we both continue into my backyard.
We make our way to what some people call a 'fort' but it looks more of a tree house on the ground. The wood used to make the walls and roof on the 'fort' is beginning to become a lighter brown color from sitting out in the sun too long. I glide through the opening in the front, taking a seat on the blanket laid down on the wood flooring, facing Tobias as he slides into the fort careful not to hit his back.
"So, what did you need to talk to me about?" I ask thinking back to when he asked me to come to his house tonight for a meeting we only have when we need to talk about something serious. He takes a moment to adjust his sitting position, his head getting awfully close to hitting the ceiling with his 5'10 fourteen year old body. It's clear that he will be tall when he's finally stopped growing, as where I am done growing at 5'6, and he has just started.
"Tris," he calls me by the nickname he gave me, "we have been friends for a decade now, 10 full years, and I love to talk to you. You always listen to me about my problems and we have been through thick and thin. Anyway...what I'm trying to say is that...I love you."
"I love you too, Tobias." I reply, in a friendly way.
"I dont think you understand," he shifts around again, pulling his long legs into his chest hugging them, "I'm in love with you."
I don't reply, my head starting to spin with questions and confusion. I stare at him for a while, him breaking his gaze on me, moving it to the ground, a faint hint of red in his cheeks, barely visible with the small amount of lantern light. No matter how hard I try, my eyes refuse to look away from him.
"Tobias-" I start but he immediately interrupted me.
"You don't have to say anything...I just wanted you to know…" he trails off beginning to stand up from his spot on the floor. I gently place my small hand on his growing muscles in his arm.
"Tobias," I start again, but this time I'm at a loss of words, without him interrupting me.
He sighs, gently grabbing my hand on his arm moving it aside so he can climb out of the crammed fort. As soon as he has exited I follow close behind, standing stretching my back out and, I once again, grab his arm.
"Tobias wait." I try again. He turns around facing me staring into my eyes, his ocean blue irises pulling me in, drowning me. His eyes are filled with something I've never seen before in them, tears. They fill his eyes causing it to look glassy, and instantly I'm stuffed with guilt. I watch as the first tear I've ever seen, fall from his eye, traveling down his face. Without thinking about it, I take my right hand and reach up wiping it away, keeping our eyes locked.
An uneasy and excited feeling settles in my stomach as he reaches his hand up cupping it around my cheek, his pinkie and ring finger sliding behind my ear. He takes one step closer so that our bodies are right next to each other, his other hand holding the small of my back. His face is less than six inches away from mine, and I have to lean my head up to continue staring into his eyes.
Ever so carefully, he leans down a little bit, his lips lightly brushing against mine, so light it feels like a feather. He backs up a little, making sure I'm positively fine with him doing this before he really connects our lips. I close my eyes, both my hands going to his face holding the sides while I go on my tiptoes, arching my back to reach. He now places both his hands on the small of my back as he leans into the kiss harder. The feeling of his lips against mine, makes me melt, my body lighting up on fire, turning into liquid.
It only seems to have been a few seconds when he pulls away. He leaves his face close to mine while he breaths harder than normal, and I can hear my heartbeat pumping loudly in my ears. I watch him closely, his eyes still shut as a smile grows on his lips. My own smile sprouts on my mouth as I look at his, but suddenly it's gone. Disappeared, instead replacing the amazing smile is a frown. I pull back even more, and he opens his eyes as my hands slide down from his face to wrap around his neck.
"I'm sorry." He says, guilt filling his eyes.
"You have nothing to be sorry for...I kissed back, didn't I?" I ask, feeling blood creep into my cheeks at the mention of the kiss.
"I shouldn't have done that, but you have to know that I love you." He says, adding to my confusion.
"Tobias, I liked it." I speak softly, my face burning red.
"That's the problem." Tobias states.
I let go of my arms taking a step back staring at him with pure confusion. Why on earth would that be the problem? I'm trying to wrap my head around it but none of it makes since.
"What?" I ask my voice going higher in the question.
"Tris I'm moving." As the words escape his lips, my heart drops. "My dad was relocated to somewhere else and I have to go with him."
I can feel the tears begin to fall immediately probably leaving mascara marks streaking my cheeks. I feel like my heart is going to explode it's thumping so hard in my chest, and I look down as the tears continue to fall.
"Where are you going?" I struggle out, my voice shaky.
"I-I don't want to say…" He explains while I look up at him, anger and sorrow filling my whole being.
"Why not?"
"Tris, I don't want you to think we can find eachother again...well, I don't want you waiting for me. I love you, but I don't want to torture you, or have the chance of you trying to run after me, even though I would love to see you again. I'm not saying that I won't ever come back for you but...what I'm saying is that I want to have a clean break."
I can feel my chest get tighter as I look up at him, realizing this will be the last time I see him. Sobs, I can no longer control, rack my body as he walks closer to me again, embracing me in a hug.
"I love you Beatrice. Please don't cry. I'll never forget you, and I will always have a spot for you in my heart. Be brave for me." He whispers into my ear, his lips brushing against my ear.
"I love you too, Tobias." I cry, soaking his shirt with my salty tears. He gently connects his soft lips to my forehead, and I close my teary eyes.
He doesn't say another word as he walks out of my backyard, glancing at me over his shoulder. I stand there tears running down my face, my chest squeezing in pain as I watch his silhouette exit my yard for the last time.
End of Flashback:
These memories flow through my mind as I stare at the picture of Tobias and I when we were twelve years old at the fair. A single tear drops on the the packing box that holds all my possessions, and I pull out more things that were all big subjects in my old room, the room Tobias used to visit. Living without him for three years have been literal hell. It seems like as soon as he left, everyone saw me as a different person, someone not worthy of being their friends, but more of their bullying victims.
About a year ago my father was awarded with a job in the government, and just a month ago he had been relocated to Chicago. I desperately pleaded for the full month not to leave. That was the only place that Tobias knew I lived at, and he had told me he would try to find me. I guess we really weren't meant to be, Tobias and I.
I look around my new room, placing the picture that holds a thousand memories onto my dresser. Looking back at my mostly empty boxes makes me feel empty. The only thing that can occupy my mind at a time like this is Tobias, his last words to me, and our kiss. In the past three years I never kissed or dated anyone, as no one thought I would be suitable for a friend, let alone a girlfriend.
Today was the first day of school in Chicago, and I went, Junior year, and even people at this school seem to ignore the shy girl. I sigh loudly as I gently pull up my sleeve, revealing my own self harm scars, probably about four of them line across my arm. I keep it to that many as I usually try to force myself not to make too many marks so I go over the scars once they have healed.
I can feel the lump in my throat as I think about what I've come to, and I have to choke back a sob. I sit on my bed tracing my scars with my fingers as I think back to when Tobias asked me to be brave. Tears sting the back of my eyes as I think about how I did exactly not that.
I hear a gentle knock on my door and I quickly soak my emotions back in, pulling the sleeve to my jacket back down.
"Beatrice, can I come in?" I hear Caleb ask from the other side, his voice soft.
"Yes." I answer, and he slowly opens the door.
"Are you okay?" He asks looking me right in the eye as he walks over to me on my bed, lowering himself, sitting next to me.
"Yes, I'm fine. Just having some troubles adjusting to the change." I lie, biting my lip hard enough to keep the tears back.
"Are you sure? Beatrice, you can tell me anything. Mom and dad are both gone at work-like usual-and won't be back for a while, so its not like they will hear you."
As tempting as his words are, to finally get the guilt and sorrow off my chest, I know that my sadness will be too much for Caleb to handle, so I shake my head no. He rubs his hand on my back for a little bit, then gets up and walks out of my room.
I stand and walk to the picture I just set on my dresser before the short talk with Caleb, and take it back to my bed. I lie down despite the time being 7:43pm, and I hug the frame to my chest as tightly as I can, wishing in my head to see him just one more time. Deciding I will just miss dinner, I keep my eyes shut tightly falling into a restless slumber.
So that is the first chapter and I hope you give my story a chance. Please review what you think of it and I will be so happy! Thank you for reading and I hope I get a few Reviews! next chapter will be soon!
~Divergent24-7
