A short angsty one-shot. Regina centric Swan Queen.
Not quite what I usually write but this idea just wouldn't leave my head. Anyway, hope you enjoy. Comments gratefully received!
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Regina padded quietly from the sofa to the piano bench. Two glasses of scotch were all she would permit herself with Henry in the house. Tonight, she would have to seek solace elsewhere. Setting the now empty glass on top of the piano, she carefully lifted the lid to uncover the pristine ivories. It had been so long since she played, but as she let her fingers tease along the keys, she naturally fell into the proper posture required.
Her fingers began to move, even before she was fully aware of what she was playing. It wasn't until she started to sing softly along with the music that it dawned on her, and she realised what she was singing…and who she was singing it for.
Henry rolled over in bed, brow furrowing as he heard the somewhat unfamiliar sound of the piano playing from the floor below. He could count the number of times on one hand his mother had played that piano in recent years. She would only play if he asked, a wide smile on his face, or when she was sad. Unable to sleep himself for fear of entering the fiery dream realm, or, and perhaps worse, having a nightmare that Emma never came home, he sat up in bed, swinging his small legs over the edge.
He crept quietly along the hall, halfway descending the stairs where he could see his mother at the piano. Her song tonight was sad, as was her voice as she began to softly sing. Unable to see her face, Henry could nonetheless tell his mom was crying.
Long years,
Living a mere facade of life
All those years
Wasting my time on smoke and noise
In my mind
I hear melodies pure and unearthly
But I find, can't give them a voice without you…
My Christine, my Christine
Lost and gone, lost and gone
Wrapping his arms tightly around himself, Henry sat quietly, listening to his mother's heart breaking. Though neither had told him outright, the relationship between his two mom's had changed. Sure, they still argued, but when they did, it was no longer with murderous intent in their eyes. Now, they would part with a smirk and a shake of the head. They had even been spending time together, using him as an excuse, of course, but the time they had spent together, especially when they were away from prying eyes, wasn't forced. It came naturally, easily, as did their smiles and laughter.
Looking down at his mom now, Henry realised she missed Emma just as much as he did. Wiping his tears on his sleeve, he sat, entranced as Regina's playing rose to a crescendo.
The day starts, the day ends
Time crawls by…
Night steals in pacing the floor
The moments creep
Yet I can't bear to sleep
'Til I hear you sing
And weeks pass
And months pass
Seasons fly
Still you don't walk through the door
And in a haze I count the silent days
'Til I hear you sing once more
As her fingers continued to move across the leys, playing a melody she hadn't even known she knew, Regina let the tears roll down her cheeks. Since Emma had fallen through that portal, Snow in tow, she had barely slept. The guilt of being able to do nothing to return them being too much to bear. In sleep, her subconscious would twist he dark and worried thoughts, creating nightmares where Emma not only never returned, but had been killed somewhere in Fairytale Land, and she, stuck in Storybrooke had been unable to protect her.
She just kept thinking, if only she had moved a little quicker, she could have pulled Emma back through, or gone through with her. Either way, she would know she was okay. Now, she felt empty. Just when she had dared to hope, life had come along and snatched it from her once more.
If only she could hear her voice, see her face…
And sometimes at night time
I dream that you are there
But wake holding nothing
But the empty air
And days come
And weeks go
Time runs dry
Still I ache down to the core
My broken soul
Can't be alive and whole
'Til I hear you sing once more
And music, your music
It teases at my ear
I turn and it fades away
And you're not here
Pushing up from his hiding place, Henry carefully approached his mother, whose sobs could clearly be heard in her singing. Her shoulders shook as her breath caught. Her playing ought to have suffered, but the pure emotion she gave more than made up for any notes missed.
Let hopes pass
Let dreams pass
Let them die
Without you, what are they for?
I'll always feel no more than halfway real
'Til I hear you sing once more
Fingers stilling on the keys, Regina slumped forward, letting herself cry, head leaning against the piano in front of her. She gasped at the feeling of a small hand on her shoulder, turning to find Henry standing next to her. "Henry, sweetheart, I'm sorry." She quickly wiped at her eyes, trying, and failing to hide her tears. "I didn't mean to get so carried away. Did I wake you?"
Henry shook his head. "I couldn't sleep anyway."
"More nightmares?" asked Regina, her voice soft.
Henry nodded. "I keep having one that Emma isn't coming back."
Regina couldn't hide the catch in her breath as her son voiced the very same nightmare she had been having. She wrapped her arms around his small frame, finding comfort in the fact that he cuddled in close, his arms reaching around her and holding tight.
"It always scares me until I wake up," he murmured against her shoulder.
"What happens when you wake up?" asked Regina in a whisper.
Henry pulled back to look up at his mother. "I know she's gonna come back. I feel it here, that she's okay," he went on, laying a small hand on his heart. "And I know that she'll be doing all she can to get back, and with you trying so hard here…it has to work!"
Regina managed a watery smile at her son's confidence.
"I know you feel it too," he said in a quiet, but very serious tone. He placed a small hand on her chest, just above her heart.
Regina shook her head.
"You do!" he said, more confident this time. "Or you will, you just have to open up your heart and listen!" Small hands framed his mother's face, her eyes wide as tears continued to fall. "You miss her?"
"So much," she admitted in a whisper, once more in awe of her son, of his ability to understand that which had not, and in some cases, could not be explained.
"You love her?" he asked, his eyes full of hope as he looked up at the woman he had managed to love, fear and hate during his life. She nodded, and he smiled. His hope for them to be a family, to see the Saviour truly save the Evil Queen could still be. "Then I know you can feel it too, if you try." He curled back into her, not complaining when she hugged him tightly. "You can feel it, can't you? That she's okay."
Regina found a smile tugging at her lips. It was a strange sensation, a warmth that settled in her chest. "Yes."
Henry pulled back to gaze up at his mother, a smile on his small features. "That's what true love feels like."
