AU: Brittany is going to make some major changes in her life now that she has a purpose.
Sorry for any mistakes. Most of the times, when I check the chapters I read what I want to say instead of what actually wrote.
Les jours tristes
Chapter 1:
Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be this hard. Oh, take me back to the start. I was just guessing at numbers and figures, pulling the puzzles apart. Questions of science, science and progress do not speak as loud as my heart…
The music flows through my earbuds. I don't know why when I think about my choices in life I always get stuck with 'The scientist', I just do it.
Honestly; thinking about my life, it has been always hard for me. I didn't realize when my life became this thing which I don't want it at all. Maybe was the moment when I stopped dreaming, maybe not. Maybe was the moment when dancing didn't matter to me anymore. I used to love dancing, I didn't worry about music and most of the time I just kept dancing on my own. I don't know.
Anyways, if I ever could go back in time I think I couldn't fix it either.
Probably I'm not the first person who thought that. I mean, because even we don't really try to fuck up things, at some point or somehow we always will manage to do it. But maybe, if you are lucky enough and don't screw yourself up too much, don't worry…. Somehow you would end fucked up, as well.
I felt a vibration and my train of thought were interrupted. I pulled out the phone from my jacket pocket. When I look at the screen I can see Artie is calling, again. This is the fifth time he's calling me, so there will be a fifth voice message. I didn't hear any of them. I don't want to talk to him, or anybody for that matter. I put the phone back in the pocket.
"This is it…" I whispered to myself and I take off my earbuds and put them in my pocket, but I wouldn't dare to move a muscle after that. "This is it…" I whispered again, but I'm still not moving, maybe if I had gotten drunk. It would be easier, maybe I would do it without even realizing it.
Is not like the world would stop or something like that, it's easy because no one will notice at all.
"What are you doing?" A man suddenly asked. The question startled me, but I ignored him and found myself staring off into space again.
"Young lady?" He says trying to get my attention, like he didn't realize I'm ignoring him on purpose, but he does it.
I turned my head and even is a little bit dark in here I can see a homeless man looking worried towards me. He has a brown skin and wears old, dusty and moth eaten clothes. Honestly, I wasn't expecting anyone around here.
"It's a lovely night. What are you doing here?" He asks again.
In fact is quite the opposite, is a cold night and because of that I wasn't expecting anyone around here.
"Nothing " I shortly answered.
"Well; you could do nothing anywhere else, couldn't you?"
I think, he wants some kind of answer, but I don't feel like talking right now. I decided don't look at him, maybe he will go away. But it's a possibility that he's crazy and thinks I'm in his property or something like that. After a few seconds I hear footsteps moving , the man took the hint!
And when I thought I'm alone again, I heard him shouting. No way! I stay in the same position when I heard the homeless man coming back.
"Look officer, you need to do something." The homeless man says.
When I turn around again, I find now the man is accompanied by a police officer. A tall, blonde woman with a spotless uniform.
"I'm officer Sylvester. What's going on? Are you planning on jumping?"
"No! I'm not " I said, faking an offended tone, looking between the man and the police officer, shame on me that I'm so bad at lying. "I'm just hanging here because… because the view is nice." That was super lame.
"If you say so." The officer clears her throat. "Come on, it's late. I'm sure we all have better things to do than be stuck in here" She suddenly look at the homeless man. "Well, maybe you don't, but I do."
I still stand.
"Get down off the bridge, now!" The woman said authoritatively. "If you don't come down, I'll arrest you."
"You can arrest me because I'm sitting on an edge of a bridge." I reasoned.
"No, but I can arrest you for don't follow a direct order from a law enforcement." The police officer makes a step towards me.
"If you get closer I will jump. I swear." I said raising my voice.
"And what's the difference? You would jump anyways, wouldn't you?" But she didn't move this time.
"I'm sure me jumping off a bridge is going to be a lot of paperwork for you." We were quiet for a while like we were about to fight in some kind of duel, until my phone vibrates again and I got distracted. I huffed. Damn it, Artie!
"You think your life is hard? I'm living with hepatitis... that's hard!" And she made a step forward.
"Don't!" I said quickly.
"Listen… You seem like a woman who thinks the square root of 4 is rainbow. Basically, I don't want to know what kind of poor choices you made in your life to end up like this, so here's the deal" She came back to her original position "You do with your depressing life what you want but do it without bothering the rest of the world. That's how Sue sees it."
"Seriously?!" The homeless man exclaims. He seems taken aback from the words the policewoman just said. "That's your plan?" I almost forget he was here because he was quiet all the time.
"Yes, I have to look for the greater good, not for the well being of one citizen." The officer explained.
I stay in my initial position, both of them still looking at me.
"Well, since seems that you aren't going to move, make me a favor and jump after 11 o'clock, my train leaves at 10:45 and I don't want to arrive late at home, my sister is waiting for me." And without any other word the woman starts to walk towards the train station that is down the street.
I'm thinking about what officer Sylvester just told me, maybe is because she managed to put into a mathematical insult the word rainbow, but she got me somehow. Maybe she's right. I came down off the bridge and the homeless man joins me during the walk.
"There is no need to follow me. I'm not going to do anything" I said to the man. He seems relieved with my statement.
"All the young people trying to be badass, like rapper Ke-dollar sign-Ha. I mean, sitting on the edge of an urban bridge is kind of dangerous."
I almost didn't hear what he was talking about, because I keep thinking about what the woman said. She's right I need to this without bothering other people.
"You don't have to pretend, you were right all along. I wanted to jump. What's your name?" I suddenly asked and he looks puzzled. "I want to know the name of the man who saved my life today."
"Figgins" He smiled. "You can call me Figgins."
"Thank you Figgins, you did a good thing to a total stranger."
I will do the same. I'm going to be a kind of vigilante and I will help people until I get killed in the way. Now I know what I'm going to do with my life, one last act of kindness. Genius.
