I've been living in this dream
in this endless nightmare
waiting for the night to come
and take my sight from me
you can't possibly know how much it hurts
and how much it tears me apart
everyday when i come home
to see this all come to a start
it hurts so bad you can't possibly tell
although i see your anger
i cannot control what
was never intended for me to understand
and that is what makes me cry
makes me rant
makes me scream
makes me die
i just want to leave it behind
to wash my tears away
and i will stand alone in the rain
to hide my tears from you
i will not show you the pain you cause
i will not show you the hole you tore
i will only leave when i can
and leave my last goodbyes...
"I say fuck this world and fuck it good because when I'm done it's dead to you!!!" she screamed. Her words echoed all over the mountains...
and that is what makes me cry
makes me die
She slunk down and because to cry. Why did everything always have to be so messed up? How could she just be like that? It all hurt so much.. and her head was just too tired to manage anything anymore. "I'm too tired of this... I can't take it anymore..." she sobbed to herself...
i just want to leave it behind
to wash my tears away
What was the point? Who would care? No one would hear and no one would care...
"Can't take what anymore?" a voice called from behind her. Her back stiffened but she did not care. What did it matter to see her cry? Who cared anymore? Who cared if she died?
waiting for the night to come
and take my sight from me
"Go away you bastard." was all she could manage. It was just so messed up... just so fucking messed up...
and how much it tears me apart
waiting for the night to come
"Sango - stop it. Don't be like this..." Miroku knelt down beside her and hugged her from behind. "You're making me very worried about you..." Sango could only cry and lean forward, away from his arms. He held her tighter, refusing to let her go.
"I can't take it Miroku I can't take it I can't take it I can't take it... godsdammit I can't fucking take it..." she sobbed, rocking herself backwards. She chanted the words with a burning fervor and tears were splashing onto Miroku's sleeves.
"It's okay Sango.. just calm down..."
i cannot control what
was never intended for me to understand
"I can't fucking calm down and don't fucking tell me everything's fucking fine dammit! I just watched him die Miroku! My last blood and kin! I let him die. I stood there and did nothing. Don't fucking tell me everything's fine. DAMMIT MIROKU." Sango wretched herself away from him and stood up. Miroku was quick to fall in by her side as she began the walk down the mountain.
"Sango - don't be so frustrating! Yes, Kohaku is dead but wasn't he already? You were holding out for some last hope, some sliver of hope and you knew in the end he couldn't have possibly - " and that was where he cut off, as Sango twirled around in rage and smacked him on his cheek.
"Sango!" he gasped.
i cannot control what
was never intended for me to understand
"Shut up Miroku! Shut the hell up! I am not going to sit here and just fucking listen to this drivel that you're spouting. My god, you don't even tell the truth half the time!"
"Sango..." he began, a hurt look shining in his eyes, "I don't believe that you're in a right state of mind right now and I think you should - Sango! Wait!" Sango began to run down the mountain at a hazardous rate.
Miroku was quick to get up and pursue her but he knew that at the rate she was at, and the anger she was feeling and that was powering her, there was no way in hell that he was going to catch up.
it hurts so bad i can't possibly tell
but i see your anger
---
Sango panted and stopped when she reached a river in the midst of a forest. She sat and began to catch her breath and had just realized what she had done. "Gods... dammit..." she breathed. Why did all this have to happen to her? Why couldn't it happen to some other wretched bitch that was placed on this horrible world?
in this endless nightmare
and leave my last goodbyes...
She had killed her brother, deserted her friends... even Kirara, who had been with her through the hardest times... and now she just shoved aside Miroku, who had tracked her done, and ran off. Gods... it was just too much. She sat there, crying her heart out, and she just couldn't understand...
waiting for the night to come
and take my sight from me
She suddenly gave a harsh laugh. "I say this and I'll say it again.. fuck this world and fuck it good because when I'm through with it it'll be DEAD to you..."
"Sango!" Miroku burst through a group of bushes and knelt down for breath next to her. "You really shouldn't say such a horrible thing..." he scolded her, with a smile playing on his eyes.
She turned her back on him and sighed. Bowing her head and covering her eyes with her hand she began to talk. "No no no no no... Miroku... no. I can't take it. Gods I can't take it. Do you know how hard it is for me?"
Miroku shook his head. "No - but I will never even begin to fathom how hard it is if you don't calm down and stop this nonsense. Sango, we all miss you and want you to come back. Please don't disappoint them Sango. Please don't disappoint me..." Sango turned to face him and gave him a complete look of disbelief.
i will only leave when i can
and leave my last goodbyes...
"There is no fucking way I will do that." her voice broke and she began to cry again. Miroku sighed and moved in closer to her. He grabbed her from behind and wrapped him arms around her.
it hurts so bad you can't possibly tell
i just want to leave it behind
"I'm not letting you go Sango. Just calm down and everything will be alright." Sango stiffened and Miroku tightened his grip, making sure he wasn't hurting her in the process.
"I wish... I wish that you would stop saying that Miroku..." she whispered, bowing her head forward.
you can't possibly know how much it hurts
and how much it tears me apart
"Why? It's alright? Everything's going to be okay? Sango, it will be. It will be alright in the end." Miroku's words sounded desperate, as if he were hanging on a last strand of hope.
"And if it's not alright… Miroku, what then?" Sango's words were heavy with pain and she sounded as if she just wanted to get away from it.
i just want to leave it behind
and i will stand alone in the rain
"Well, if it isn't alright Sango, then frankly, it's not the end. It's always alright in the end… I promise you that." He whispered, nuzzling his head so it was next to hers.
waiting for the night to come
i just want to leave it behind
"Miroku…" she gasped and turned, hugging him tight. Startled by this, Miroku fell back, but thrust out his hands and supported himself with it. And there they were, Sango holding onto her last life line, crying as Miroku held onto her.
i just want to leave it behind
to wash my tears away
AN: Okay. Another two-chapter one-shot... hm. copyright poem to me and i don't own Inuyasha and all that good stuff... blah blah blah.... Oh and don't tell me Sango wouldn't do this please.. just humor me... I don't think she could handle it calmly and so yah. Written on a mood of pissed off ness and I got mellower as I wrote... does it show?
