So I rewatched the finale for like the fifth time and I really can't help myself! Soooo many fic oppurtunties with the ending! I hope you like the idea! So much possible Sammy angst!

It had been months since the incident. Dean still hadn't been able to move on he was always out with baseball games and cheering Ben on, smiling at barbecues. But his heart wasn't really into it. In fact he had become closer and closer to a zombie. Lisa noticed this, but didn't say anything. Everytime she reached out for contact he jerked away. Almost as if he didn't want to be comforted. And during the nights she found him poured over strange books.

"I thought you were done with that kind of work," she told Dean. "You promised Sam..."

"I promised Sam I'd go live a normal apple pie life," Dean snapped. "That's what I'm doing."

She stared at him.

"You're trying to bring him back, aren't you?" It was impossible for him not to tell her everything after a few days of being there. Silence filled the room. "Dean, that's not what he would want..."

"You don't know anything about what he would want! You don't know him like I do! And right now I don't give a damn about what he wants. I promised I'd live a normal life, sure I'll do that. But I'm not gonna let him rot in hell with the devil. I just won't. I can't."

He stared at Lisa.

"Don't you get it? I can't live normal when thinking about Sammy being in hell....this guilt...it's gonna kill me unless I do something about it."

She sighed.

"Please, don't make another deal," she begged. Silence. "Damn it, Dean! I mean it, no deals!"

Dean said nothing. He couldn't say no. He had to do whatever it took to bring Sam back, even if it meant selling his soul again. She shook her head.

"I swear to God, Dean-"

"Don't say his name when you're near me," he growled. She paused and stared at him.

"If you make a deal I'm taking Ben and you're never going to see us again. Than you really well be breaking all your promises to Sam."

Dean looked at her, pleading in his eyes.

"Please, Lees-try and understand..."

"I do understand, you're upset..."

"It's not that! It's my fault!"He finally bellowed. She stared at him, shock on her face.

"What?"

"It's my fault! I'm the one that broke the first seal!"

"But you were in hell..."

"It doesn't matter. DAD didn't break! But I was weak enough that I did! Cause of that Sammy....Sammy had to break the last seal and...I wasn't there for him when I should have been." He bit his lip. "If I had gotten through to Sammy before he went after Lilith...been more understanding, NONE of this would have happened!"

"Dean, you can't blame yourself..."

"The hell I can," he growled, fury in his eyes. "I'm not going to rest until Sammy is back, Lisa. I.....I just can't. I need this. I need to focus on this...because if I don't that means that he's....really...." he paused, a tear rolling down his cheek. "Really gone, for good...forever in hell."

He gasped a giant sob and stared at Lisa.

"And he doesn't deserve that fate...he really doesn't. And I would hate myself if I could have found a way to save him and I didn't."

Lisa sighed and ran her hand through his hair and kissed him gently on the lips.

"Come to bed soon," she whispered. "And we'll both be here, when you're able to move on and let this go. We'll wait for you for when you're ready."

"I might never be ready." A quiver on the lip as he spoke.

"Than we'll wait forever." She smiled. "No one is leaving you again, Dean."

He shook his head.

"Don't say that. Just....Don't. Don't make promises...you can't stop death."

She sighed.

"All right, but we are here for you. When you wand and need us."

His throat closed.

"Thanks," he whispered.

He stared at the book about making crossroad deals. If only he had a way of contacting Crowley.

"You should listen to her." He jumped at the sound of Castiel's voice.

"Jesus Christ." He jumped. "You need to stop doing that," he snapped.

Castiel remained motionless.

"You shouldn't seak out Crowley, Dean."

"Why? Why the hell not?"

"Because you promised Sam." Castiel sounded impatient.

Dean bit his lip and hung his head, looking like the beaten man he was in the cementary.

"I can't let him go, Cas. I just...can't. I have to try."

"Just please,don't do anything..."

"What stupid? I'm way past stupid, Cas. I'm at the point of I don't give a fuck."

Castiel closed his eyes.

"Please, Dean, just don't."

"Why?"

"Shouldn't a promise from Sam be enough?" Castiel couldn't resist throwing that in his face again. His hands shook.

"Damn it Cas, why don't you want me to go through with this?"

"Because I already dragged you out of hell once, I don't want to do it twice," Castiel shot back. Dean froze.

"I have to try," he whispered.

Castiel sighed.

"I know."

With that he left as soon as he entered.

"You really do suck at goodbys," Dean growled and burried his head in his books, ignoring the voices in his head not to continue.

Suddenly in the cementary Sam Winchester found himself on the ground-gasping for breath and very much alive...

Weak ending, I know, but should I continue? I hope I made Dean stay in character.