As you all probably noticed, Soul Mates is on a bit of a hiatus. To break my writer's block, I've concocted this story, it is not near-novel length like Strangled. Just something quick and light to get the creative gears grinding again.

It's crack, only taking into account the events from Strangled and the attitudes of the characters in that universe. So don't take this too seriously and as always,

Enjoy!


Disclaimer: I'm pretty sure I'm embarrassing the real owners of the MK franchise with this piece: Mr. Boon, Tobias, Vogel, and the crew, forgive me.


Day One


Surviving the boat ride from Hong Kong had been their first test. For the eighteen individuals gathered on the shores of the Sea of Blood, that journey had been an arduous and trying one. For some, familiarity had been re-established and a loose sense of civility had been sparked. But for others, old hatreds had been revived and bitterness had been rekindled. Now, just after sunset, they'd arrived at their destination and were eager to get their luggage, and themselves, settled in for the evening.

"So...what now?"

It was a short-haired, tawny-skinned woman who'd asked the question that was on everyone's minds. No one had an answer for her, as they were wondering the same thing themselves. However, her husband and traveling companion began to take a gander at the matter.

"Do you have the informative letter?" the shaman asked.

She rolled her eyes and replied, "No. I left it in that auto movile thing. Besides, it wasn't all that informative anyways."

"You're right about that," One of her closest friends put in.

The blonde that had spoken rubbed her temple irritably. It had been a long day for her. First she had to deal with things down at OIA, turning down mission invitations that she really, deep down, wanted to be a part of and filing some last minute paperwork to help out an old friend. The missions shouldn't have been offered to her in the first place, seeing as how she'd told her superiors ahead of time that she'd be taking this trip. And as for the paperwork, well, she lost a bet and was never known to be a sore loser. Not usually. Now add to all that the trip on that rickety boat with a creepy old sorcerer undressing her with his eyes for the majority of the ride and you've got one exhausted lieutenant.

She glanced over at her C.O., who was faring a bit better than her. It wasn't as hard for him to leave the office as it was for her, and he also didn't have to deal with someone decades older than him giving him dirty leers.

"This place is a dump," A seemingly young man sneered.

In truth the handsome royal was centuries old, as was the sorceress under his arm: said woman narrowed her glowing white eyes and nodded in agreement with her long-time lover, much to the woman's ire next to them.

"You two are the main reason it's come to such a state." the Princess spoke sharply.

She wanted to say more to the two traitors, but a gentle hand found its way into the crook of her elbow.

"Kitana, let it go," She told her, though she didn't fail to glare at the female under the prince's arm.

The former bodyguard herself wanted to throttle the dark-skinned sorceress. She turned instead to sneak a glance over at a pair of Shaolin warriors, the one wearing a large hat being of her particular interest. Right then they were also speaking of such restraint.

"We all came here for our own reasons," this Shaolin explained, "I think we should see what he's about before we just attack. He could be here just to compete."

"And if he's not," His friend spoke, "If he makes one wrong move, I'm going after him."

The champion of Earthrealm averted his eyes from the immortal that served as the bane of his existence and looked over his shoulder. There, the Emperor of Outworld himself, er, themselves stood silently beside their wraith of a cohort.

"Is he here?" the host asked.

"From what I can see, that looks like him now." The wraith responded.

He wasn't the only one to have noticed the infamous thunder god approaching. The more people began to see that distinctive white hat, the quieter they got. Soon they were graced by not only his presence, but that of two other 'deities' as well. The three beings stood in front of the crowd and waited until they had everyone's attention before they began to speak.

They are...really weird-looking, thought the blonde lieutenant. She knew the thunder god-who didn't? But the other two were strange indeed. One of them wore a heavy burgundy cloak and had the head of a bare skeleton, that is, if skeleton skulls had spikes sticking out from it. The other one didn't look that abnormal, now that she gave him a second glance. He reminded her of a kindly old father, with his white-beard and mustache and compassionate dark eyes.

"Welcome to the island," The thunder god spoke, "I trust your journey was a pleasant one?"

Cue resounding 'no's', 'not really's', and 'can we get this over with's'. The god made a small coughing noise in response.

"Well," He continued, "As some of you might already know, I am Raiden, god of thunder. Beside me is Kochal, god of chaos."

He pointed to the skull-headed being to his left, who lit his head afire in what he thought was a friendly greeting: it only served to freak out half the people in the crowd.

"And this is Argus, god of Edenia." Raiden introduced in reference to the being at his right.

"Former god of Edenia." An insolent male voice called out.

If Argus heard his youngest son's jibe, he didn't show it. Instead, he gave a short wave to the other individuals.

"The three of us will be serving as judges to this contest-" Raiden then said.

"What is this contest anyway?" A young cryomancer cut in as politely as he could.

The enenra beside him added, "The letter we received didn't really explain it all that well."

Raiden didn't seem to mind the interruption as he stated, "In short, it's a 6-week opportunity for you to earn millions of koins for yourself or a party of interest."

"Yeah, I kinda' figured that much," A former female assassin retorted, "Otherwise I wouldn't have hauled ass all the way to China to get here."

The shaman beside her revised, "What she meant was, could you elucidate on the subject please?"

Again, the thunder god took no offense at having been cut off. He merely straightened his amulet and answered their questions.

"You all received invitations for this contest and obviously accepted them. At this point, provided you follow the rules, you have the chance to compete for the grand monetary prize."

"What are the rules?" A strange voice hissed.

"Good question Reptile," Raiden praised generically, "Care to tell them, Kochal?"

"Not particularly." The god of chaos replied.

"That thing can talk?" someone in the crowd whispered in awe.

"That thing can also hear," Kochal snapped, "And if you want to get anywhere in this contest you worthless sacks of flesh, you'd better respect us judges."

Raiden chuckled and said, "Uh, I'll take it from here Kochal. The rules are simple and must be abided by during the entire 6-week period, starting tonight. They are as follows..."

And then he began the list of do's and don'ts for the contest. The don'ts were many, and included the prohibition of leaving the island, purposeful elimination, and death threats to fellow contestants and/or judges. Fatalities, brutalities, babalities, animalities, and lewd behavior was not permitted, nor was any type of vandalism towards the island.

"Cheating is absolutely acceptable," Raiden told everyone.

That caused a few eyebrows to raise in confusion.

Kochal added, "Unless you manage to get caught. Then it's your ass."

"Er, so long as you are undiscovered," Raiden continued, "You may lie, cheat, steal, and yes maim, maim, not kill, other players."

"Betrayal, deceit, and underhanded dealings are completely alright," Argus amended, looking at his youngest in disapproval.

"You may make deals with each as well at any point in the contest," Raiden said, "But it is the word of the judges that ultimately supersede all agreements."

"What if we break any of these rules?" That former assassin asked with her hands on her hips.

"Don't." Kochal advised curtly.

Raiden's answer for her was, "Punishment for any offense will come in the form of a public flogging, or, if the guilty party so chooses, dismissal from the contest."

There was a murmuring in the crowd at this. Raiden raised his hand palm-first to quiet them once more. He was not done just yet.

"There is one more thing I must inform you of." He said, then beckoned someone near.

Over the hill behind the sandy shore came a young man in a red polo and slacks, toting a camera over his shoulder. He came and stood near the three judges.

"This mortal, Jimmy Aames, is from a university in Earthrealm," Raiden explained, "he'll be filming parts of the contest for his...Digital Media, was it?"

The camera guy nodded exuberantly, then waved awkwardly at the crowd.

"Yes, his Digital Media course. Periodically he may take you aside for a short interview."

"Why are we being filmed?"

"What's a camera?"

"This wasn't in the invitation letter!"

"Will I get paid for this?"

Kochal silenced the sudden outbursts with, "Humor him or go home."

That quelled everyone's bout of loquaciousness. All except one person, who would never turn down an opportunity to voice his complaints.

"Can we go to our rooms now?" That demigod griped.

Far away from him, a malevolent host rolled their luminescent green eyes in disgust, muttering something about a 'whiny little punk'.

"What rooms?" Raiden asked with an amused twitch to his pale mouth.

The demigod wasn't the only one confused, for the others saw a row of decent-sized huts lined up further inland along the beach. Raiden glanced behind him as if seeing these huts for the first time and chuckled.

"Ooh, you mean these rooms," He said, "Well I'm sorry, but you'll have to earn them first."

"What do you mean?" The blonde lieutenant asked warily.

She'd had enough stress for one day and was among those wanting to go and rest. But it would seem the thunder god had other ideas.

"For your first challenge," He stated, "You must survive in those woods back there for seven days and seven nights."

"What?"

"What?"

"What?!"

The contestants were equally distressed or outraged at this news. Spend a week in the treacherous forest beyond the Sea of Blood? That was more than they'd bargained for. But most, if not all of them, were seasoned in the ways of enduring harsh terrain and brutal conditions, so this might be a walk in the park. An inconvenient one, though. Like a walk in the park when it was raining and dog poop was everywhere.

"You will each have three flags strapped onto your person," Raiden continued, "Whoever loses all three of theirs must leave the forest and return here."

"The first three out will be eliminated from the contest." Kochal inputted.

"And on the last day, whoever has the most flags will win." Argus said.

"What will we get if we win?" the Edenian body guard asked.

Across from her, the white-eyed sorceress smirked and said, "Why are you asking? It's not like you'll be the one."

"I'm sorry, was I talking to you?" the staff-bearing woman replied tersely.

Kochal was the god of chaos; he knew the makings of a cat-fight when he saw one brewing. That's why he chose not to cut in.

But Raiden did, saying, "The winner gets to choose their own team."

"Team?" One of the Shaolin monks asked, "We have to work in teams?"

"Yes," Argus answered, "Teams of three. That won't be a problem, will it?"

"Uh, for me, yes!" that feisty wife of the shaman declared, "I work better alone and I'm damn sure not splitting the prize money with anybody."

"Get over yourself," the demigod called to her, "it's not like anybody wants to work with you anyway, hag."

"How about you shut the hell up?" She spat.

"Everyone, please, calm down!" Raiden implored.

Kochal nodded and said, "Yes, you can tear each other limb from limb after you get in the woods."

"That's not what I..." Raiden just sighed.

One of the Shaolin monks rose his voice above all others, for he had a pretty relevant question that seemed to quiet the rest of the players.

"What about our luggage?" The champion asked, "We have to take it into the woods with us?"

"Yes, so I hope you packed light!" Kochal smirked, much to everyone's horror, for it appeared unnatural on a skeleton's 'face'.

From the subsequent groans, a lot of the players had not.

"Now if you would please wait a moment, you'll all recieve your flags." Raiden said.

And once everyone had gotten the white strips of silk, they were free to head into the forest and begin their first challenge. Along the way, Jimmy tried to catch up with them and get them to say a few words for the camera. He nearly tripped over his own two sneakers as he made haste, plowing through the dirty sand to get to the two most interesting figures he could find. He had to nearly power-walk to keep up with them.

"Could you tell us who you two are?" He asked smoothly.

"No. Go away." the host replied.

"Oh. Okay," Jimmy shrugged, "I guess I will. I'll go right over to that thunder dude and let him know how 'cooperative' you guys are being."

The host then stopped and rounded on the young man. Their glare nearly made Jimmy pee his pants, but he held his ground and shakily aimed the camera at the fearsome being.

We can't get eliminated right now, the host knew, so they decided to humor the annoying mortal.

"Alright you peon," they barked, "make this quick."

"Could you introduce yourselves?"

The wraith saw his cohort in a mood and decided to speak for the both of them.

"I'm Noob Saibot, current and forever ruler of the Netherrealm." He said, "And this is my friend-"

The host glowered at him.

"Er, ally, Ermac; he's the Emperor of Outworld."

"Cool," Jimmy remarked, "So you guys are like, uh, entrepreneurs?"

"Something like that." Noob chuckled.

"Have you known each other long?" Jimmy asked.

"For quite some time," Noob answered.

Jimmy said, "Besides being evil, I mean you are evil right?"

"Quite." Noob replied proudly.

"Besides being evil, do you have any common interests?" the camera man asked.

"No." Ermac responded brusquely.

"Do you think you'll win?" Jimmy then asked the host, eager to get a word out of him.

"Obviously, you twit, otherwise we wouldn't be here." The Emperor sneered.

Ermac then stalked off towards the forest like everyone else. Noob just scratched the back of his head and sighed.

"You'll have to excuse him," He said, "Ermac's not much of a...people-person."

"I see." Jimmy said slowly.

Then, as the wraith sauntered off behind his ally, the young man shook his head. Well they sure are a 'lively' pair. Hopefully not everyone is as camera-shy as that moody one.


A/N: And so begins this new project. I'm trying to get a feel for all the characters again, so go ahead and tell me what you think so far.

Also, do you know who everyone is? Any guesses as to who might be going home next chapter? Who are you rooting for? And everyone is fair game, the winner won't be based on skill or importance or anything so leave your bets!

~DymondGold~