DISCLAIMER: NAAAAAMECO. Owns Klonoa. Not me.
WEEEEEEE!
Imma here.
Decided- you know what I love more then anything else on the planet? No, seriously. What I really do LOVE. MORE. THEN ANYTHING ELSE. ON THIS PLANET AND EVERY OTHER IN THE UNIVERSE AND ANY OTHER UNIVERSE THERE IS.
KLONOA.
TO F#$%ING DEATH.
AND FOREVER AFTER.
So, since I'm impatient and wanted to get this account up and running. Before I finish the rewrites of a cute little Fairly Odd Parents fanfic I adopted, I thought- YOU KNOW WHAT!?
I love this series to death. But don't get me wrong- If they try and Wiimake anything else I might die. I just love everything the way it is and they already ruined Phantomile. The only good thing about that Wiimake was Klonoa's cute Kingdom Hearts hand-me-downs.
I hear there's a webcomic. Not interested. But still- Every Klonoa game takes place in a different demension so I know that thing would just be something else to twist into my headcanon of how everything works together. I might read it, but MEH.
I love this series. I also love Janga- GAHFOIHAPOWIBFAOGBAPWBGFURJO BMAH. Been following Darkspeeds since I was tweleve and I'm full-on with his possesion theory. MHFM, YES. IT'S CANON.
Just because nothing else makes sense- but I won't ramble now.
The Klonoa cast are attached to my heart, man. I don't fuck with them. They're my babies and I love them all.
So here's the pilot episode I have of an old sitcom-story I had a while back. Tis' beautiful. I tell you. So full of crack humor and shonen-ai boi wuvz. XD
-The Pilot Episode: Part 1: Introduction-
"A. B. C. D. E. F. G. H. I. J. K. L. M. N. O. P. Q. R. S. T. U. V. W. X. Y AND Z. NOW I KNOW MY A.B.C'S. NEXT TIME WON'T YOU COME AND SING WITH ME."
But I already knooow my A.B.C's.
Why won't people just believe me when I say I'm twelve years old? I'm not that short. Granpa always used to say I just took after Ma-
Ooooh, Granpa. Don't get mopey again~
I'll miss him, and I'll miss Huepow too. But his parents never let him out of sight, he won't even be able to call, probably. Hnoooooh~
After Granpa died, they really quickly found his last will and testament, with no living relatives, the only family friend Granpa had was Pango, who lives way out here in Lunatea~
Barely got to say goodbye to Huepow- they got me on a train- switched off onto a bus- took me to an airport- geez, Lunatea's far away. Sigh~ And now Phantomile is.
And if the plane wasn't bad enough, the child services worker said all they could manage to do was sign me into a school, Pango couldn't pick me up until the end of the day.
And so then I get here, and- uhm, Well- I- guess they haven't processed all my papers yet. They believed I was the new student, they've been talking about me for a while- but wouldn't believe my age.
Commooooon. I'm twelve, not eight. I know my A.B.C's- I know-... uhm... Well I read Lord of the Flies-... uhm... The square-route of a hundred and sixty four is-... Uhm...
SLAM
A business-suit guy with a funny hat, and two really big guys on each side of him has sped inside. Now he's standing there panting and holding his chest. "Is Klonoa Grain in this class?" He breaths out. Poor guy.
The teacher-lady tends to him and huffs all nervously, she looks at her clipboard- she was showing she wasn't having very good memory. "Oh, Principal of course- um. Here- oh yes the new boy." She points at me. "Yes that's him."
The guy- our Principal- stumbles over. "Yesyesyes- you're in the wrong class boy- why didn't you tell anyone you were in sixth grade?"
No one would believe me. Um- "But- I did~"
Some of the kids in the other seats are laughing- those big ole' guys are still sticking close to him. The Principal takes another deep breath. "Well, we'll just fix this- come now."
He starts to leave and I jump up and grab my bag. Made sure to keep it by my side- I was sure they'd fix the mistake soon enough.
Then I follow him down the halls- Phantomile is pretty tiny and I was homeschooled anyway- so this is really one of the coolest schools I've ever seen- I went to visit Huepow at his boarding school once and that place was gigantic- but I like this place better.
The new class is at the end of the hall, the Principal opens the door- he's still really shakey- wonder what's wrong?
The big guys quickly press their backs inside the doorframe- almost comically- so I need to squeeze around them- ow- they're hard as rock!
"Oh~ Jillius!" The teacher said- wow! she's pretty! "What are you gracing us with today?"
"Miss Melody-"
"Lephise, Jillius. Please~" Her voice is really pretty too~
"Yes- we got our new student- they sent him to the wrong classroom. But he's been put in here now." He brings me over. "This is Klonoa Grain."
"Hello dearest~" She says. She's so pretty!
Principal Jillius nods his head to both of us. "Alright- terribley sorry for the mixup. Good tidings to your day."
I watch him leave with the big guys out the door and turn back to Miss Melody. She's returned to her seat and she smoothes out her dress. "Klonoa, is it then? well, welcome to the town. Your seat is that one in the front. Everyone greet Klonoa."
"Thankyou~" Most of the class quietly gets up and bows. I smile and nod to them and go to my seat.
"I'll see the office about a locker for you. They always get all frazzled when someone new moves here." Yea~ I noticed~ But until then I just throw my bag under my desk and look around it- good! it's bigger then the tiny ones in the second graders class. "We're in the middle of a Chemistry quiz right now, it's about the summer homework so you can just sit tight and listen for the rest of the day."
I nod- there goes my worries of not being able to follow anything- I can ask Pango for some tips and pointers later. Ah- someone's tapping my back- I turn around- it's a carrot-top with a big orange headband on. "You're Klonoa?"
"Yuh-huh. That would be me." I whisper, to be safe- Huepow's school was crazy about making too much noise. Although I'm sure Miss Melody wouldn't chase anyone down the hallway with a ruler. Ha~ that was so fun~
The kid grins. "Awesome- everyone's been talking about you for days- I'm Chipple." He holds out his hand and we shake.
Bunch of kids of all diffrent sizes in this class. Don't know why they were so unbelieveing of me- the boy on my left- um, who is- kind of really glaring at me- is almost half by size. I look at him and wave hi- maybe he's just having a bad day.
There's a girl on my right. She's really, really concentrating on the quiz. She was the one nervously fumbling around when she got up to bow earlier.
She's the only one wearing her school uniform in full- I wouldn't wear the bow, jacket or vest. And- well- I just couldn't do it! those dress shoes hurt my feet! The grumpy kid on my left is wearing his vest but it's coated with lots of pins. He's got really green eyes- he's gone to glaring at the test. Doesn't look like he's done much to it.
I'm just humming in my head, watching and waiting for anything else to start- oh oh- Miss Melody gets up and brings me a paper. "This is the class schedule- you'll be in here through the whole day, and I'm resident teacher. The only time you'll leave the classroom is for lunch- which just finished. Then it's Gym and after that is Recess." Yeah... yeah... her voice is so pretty!
Right- Recess- maybe I'll find a payphone and try calling Pango to let him know I'm alright and ready. I smilingly thank Miss Melody and she breezes back over to her desk-
The classroom is all warm brown colors with the gigantic blackboard behind the coolest teacher ever. The only thing on the blackboard right now is 'CHEMISTRY. Do your test!' Miss Melody is just sitting at her desk, smilingly watching everyone do the test. There's a shiney gold plate with her full name ontop of the desk.
It feels alittle too unproductive to just sit here and stare at nothing- I try leaning around and looking at the rest of the class- yeah, there's kids of all sizes in here!
But- they probably don't get alot of people coming here anyway. Lunatea's an island, and it's a big island, but the actual towns are all clustered, I remember seeing them on the maps- probably don't get alot of new people coming in. These kids have been living here all their life- Siiigh~ I'm reminded that I'm the new kid. Which hasn't been bothering me at all- but I've spent my whole life in Phantomile. Sooooo~
Hnm~ I look around again- this isn't a big class- but the child services lady said this was a school going through Kindergarden to College. And the whole school isn't really that big- show's how few people really live here~
I keep scanning- hoping Miss Melody won't think I'm being nosey-
That's when first I saw him.
He looked up just when I noticed him and my head instinctively zipped back down to my desk. Our eyes hit for just a second and it kindof really scared me. Well, he was what was scary.
I made note there were lots of diffrent kids in this class but never once did I really make note of him until then. He can't be twelve. Looked like he should be in college!
Uhm, so- now, I'm kindof chilly, and, freaked out. Common Klonoa, don't be ridiculous. No one's going to bite you.
RIIIIIIIIIIIING
Miss Melody looks up at the bell. "Oh the time does fly- how's everyone done?"
A couple kids- Chipple behind me, the girl on my right and boy on my left especially- give loud 'eeps' and scribble more down.
Miss Melody breezes to the corner, checking on everyone. "Finish your final lines and then go on out to the Gym room."
"Done it!" Chipple cheers behind me- boy on my left growls while still scribbling at the paper. I look behind me- Chipple brings his cheering stance down. "...Wait, is that spelled right?"
I see Miss Melody smile. "Chipple, would you be okay with giving Klonoa the details of the school?"
He's erasing and fixing some things and nods. "Yea, just a minute."
Hee~ I get my bag and wait for him. Just playing with the pacman on my hat while he fixes his paper. When he's done he cheerily comes out with me.
-Recess
I got to sit on the sidelines during Gym too. Since they hadn't gotten clothes for me yet. I just sat there- watching them do stretches and run around the room.
It took about ten minutes for the kids that were on each side of me to come out. After that they did some totally awesome Volleyball practices which I really, really, really wish I could've gotten to join in on.
Maybe tomarrow- it's only Tuesday. They'll do it again. Everytime Chipple did something really cool- which was alot actually- he did a victory dance and waved up at me.
Not everyone from my class was here. Something else maybe- but the only one I was thankful to find missing was the boy from back of the class. I didn't have to lock with those icey eyes again yet.
But now I've followed Chipple outside and into the Recess yard, which looks like it has everyone in the whole school here- there's some older looking kids- some little toddlers- yup.
Chipple meets me and grabs my arm. "Hey Klonoa! whattayou wanna do?"
I smile- I've already thought about it. "Let's play twenty questions!"
"WOOO!" He cheers loudly- too funny!
We run over to sit on a bench next to some basketball hoops. I came up with at least twenty questions to ask him. "How's our teacher?"
"OHMIGAWD Lephise!" I have to giggle again- "She's the awesomest! she's the GREATEST! She's in the Church choir- uh- I'm pretty sure she was leading angel in Heaven's choir- her sister's even a Soprano singer- Not quite sure what a Soprano does though- something about hitting all the high notes- but yeah Lephise is the GREATEST! And call her Lephise too- she likes that."
Okay okay okay~ "What about the other kids in class?"
He giddily shook his arms around. "Okayokay- the only kids I talk to are Lolo and Popka- they're the ones on each side of you-" Perfect!
"What are they like?"
Chipple sighs. "Popka's a little spazz. But Lolo's real sweet- she works down at her Grandma's flowershop most of the time- rest of the time she's at the Church."
Uh-huh~ uh-huh~ "Anything else?"
He cocks his head, thinking really hard. "Our Principal's a dork."
I have to giggle again- "What's with those guys with him?"
He laughes and almost falls out of his seat rolling his eyes. "Those are his bodyguards,he's the mayors son or something- or the presidents son, can't remember. They'll always be around. It's ri-diculous!"
Gah! I giggle again. Wow- if my life was a story, there would be sequels- video games- maybe a clunky manga to top it off- haha!
I see Chipple perk up and start waving his arms around. "Lolo! Lolo you and Popka come meet Klonoa!"
There they are- my classroom neighbours. They both come over to us. The girl Lolo bows and smiles.
Popka's still looking kindof grumpy- he looks at me. "...Your name is?"
"Klonoa~ Klonoa Grain."
"Kloah." He tries to get out. "Kowa... Ko-... Kay-il-oah."
Lolo blinks and turns to him. "Klonoa."
"Klindoah." His eyes widen and blinks at that way-off stutter. I laugh again- not the first one to mess up my name. Well, I mess up my own name. I have to concentrate or I'll miss the 'N' sound. Half the people back at home saw me off still saying 'Kloa'. Some were just mocking though.
"Klonoa."
"Kla- oha- Kloboa- ugh- Klondoka-"
"Like a klondike bar, Klon-"
"Klon."
"Oh!"
"Oh!"
"Ah~"
"Ah~"
Popka blinks and then looks back at me. "Okay I got it."
I giggle again- "Nice to meet you Popka~"
The girl bows again and smiles. "And I'm Lolo."
"Hi Lolo~" Ah- yes- another thing I needed to ask Chipple- I turn to him. "Is there a payphone out here?"
Chipple jumps up. "Yea- way back there by the supply rooms." Can't quite see it, there's alot of kids in the way. But I got it.
I nod to all of them. "I want to make a call real quick- be right back." I say bye to Lolo and Popka and go back there.
I have alot more questions for Chipple, but I should try and call Pango before I forget. Among my questions are some things about the school- what the town is like- where my house is, maybe.
Haha- but yeah- oh, I should ask him about the scary guy in class too- I was almost chickening out of it but there can't be anything wrong with just asking-
I check my pocket- Granpa always said- keep change in handy- right right~ I like dropping coins in wells and fountains and-
Ugh, thought too soon!
There he is again, the guy from class- and at the payphone no doubt. At least he's turned away so I have the courage to look at him now- his uniforms torn and dirty- and he's got long black hair with gold streaks in a ponytail. Yeah, he's got to be at least four years older then me. Or a freak of nature.
I feel a familiar tap on my back- it's Chipple. Best time out of ever- "Who is that guy? He's in our class but I know he's older then us."
Chipple looks where I'm pointing and suddenly gets rather clammy, he mouth starts opening and closing like a fish.
I touch his shoulder. "Chipple?"
He blinks and swallows hard. "Th- th- that's the Shinigami."
I blink this time- eh? "Death God?"
He gulps again and turns over to me, pulling my head away- Lolo and Popka are here too. They're a few feet away- wow- scared even to get this close- five feet- to the Shinigami.
"Shinigami Guntz, the death god- that's what they call him- he's a few years older then us- yeah- even the college kids don't go near him."
I blink- hmm, wow, uh- don't like the feelings of fear bubbling up again- common! this is exaggeration! "Why is he called that?"
He looks up at me. "Why is everyone scared crapless of him? lessee, top reasons." He starts counting out on his gloved fingers. "There's someone breaking into the town's Museum, it's rumoring it's him. That's the most resent." Continuing on. "Last April Fools he sent a death threat to the mayor. Yeah, that's the most famous." Eh? "A few years ago he brought a gun to school and almost shot a college kid with it. That's when everyone started getting scared of him. Um- oh, and his Dad's a Nazi."
I blink- look over- eep- he's leaving the payphone- leaving the recess yard- he's gone inside. No glares to make me crumble- but- really- it can't be... that bad... At least that's what I'm repeating in my head over and over-
I look at Chipple again. "No joking?"
"No, everyone knows those four are the reasons known by everyone. There's little stuff too- like him getting in fights with the college kids-" He points over to the little ball Lolo and Popka have curled themselves into. "He roughed Popka up last summer too, even Lolo was optimistic with him until then. He's dangerous."
I blink... Hnnnm. "...I have to go to the bathroom."
Chipple stares at me before his mouth curls up and he starts laughing hystarically. "Bathrooms- gyha- through that door- through there- you'll see em'- GAHAHAHAAA!"
Hnnnm~
-Inside
Didn't really have to go. That's the feeling you get though. Just keep repeating in my head- can't be that bad~ can't be that bad~ can't be that bad~
Definitely not a nice guy. But I can't complain, I've never heard him speak two words!
Oi, new town and I'm already dramatic and paranoid- I have to calm down- should try calling Pango again, yeah, that. Recess might be over soon- I should get back out.
I open the door- oooooh crap! why does this keep happening!?
There he is again! It's almost annoying! The Shinigami is going through his locker. He turned his head again- I retreat back inside- gah! swinging door! stop swinging!
"Hello?"
Da-a-a-a-a-a-a-aaaangi-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-iiiiit! Why is this happening to me now?
Eh? footsteps? common! dangit!
I thought my life was a story- looks like it's a horror story- one that might have to end with a sucky cliffhanger-
The door opens- a shot rings out-
-End Chapter-
BOOM.
Goes the dynamite.
Luvluvluvluvluvluvluvluv Klonoa and all his gawdness and all his friends and everybody and his whole world and MMMMMMMMM THE FEELS.
So much. You have no idea.
I swear, if this were any other story I would be rambling like fuck. But like I said. Klonoa's special to me. I don't mess with them. I don't make terrible fun. I just carry them with me everywhere I go.
Because they're cute and sweet and beautiful and AHHHHHH I LOVE THIS SO MUCH.
Next chapter babies~
