A/N: Hello folks. This is my first Big Bang Theory fanfiction. I'm a big Shamy fan and I hope I do them justice. I may go OOC on occasion but I try to stick w/ storylines as much as possible. Let me know what you think.

Disclaimer: I don't own Big Bang Theory. I just like to take them out to play once in a while.


The young man sat looking out at Gulf of Mexico from the windows of the suite. The stress and excitement of the last several hours were ebbing away as the high strung young man was feeling…..relaxed.

Yes, relaxed. He realized during the chaos of the last several months how much he had grown. Who would have imagined that he would be here now thanks to the Big Bang Theory of all things?

Knowing he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep anytime soon, he got comfortable as he thought back to the beginning…..

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The train flew through the Arizona desert. Usually Sheldon was bouncing with excitement when on a train no matter what the time was, but not this time.

He was on the train not three minutes after he left when he realized he never said goodbye to Amy. He called her later to check in. She sounded all right, but even he could hear the pain in her voice. He screwed up, but he didn't know what to do.

He called her later that night multiple times, but after a few rings each went to voice mail. The realization of it hit him like a ton of bricks.

'She's screening my calls'

Even Sheldon knew what that meant and it wasn't good for him.


The next day the train arrived in Albuquerque. He was there one hour and became bored as all get out. He changed trains as he decided he wanted to avoid Texas. Two days later, the train reached Vicksburg, Mississippi. In spite of himself, he did enjoy the history of the city. In Huntsville, he visited the US Space and Rocket Center and screamed with delight as he rode the Space Shot, but he vowed never to tell Wolowicz. At each stop, he always picked up a souvenir or two, one always involving a monkey. When he got to Tallahassee, he purposely got out long enough to stretch his legs and go back as Florida was nothing more than a cesspool of flash and tourism. To kill time, he went online and downloaded songs he had heard on his stops. He wasn't sure why, but he just knew he had to have them.

He made several more stops in the South. Two weeks after he left, he arrived in Washington DC and found himself at the National Zoo. Seeing the koalas didn't cheer him up like they always did in the past. However, when he arrived at the monkeys, he felt happiness for a second as they reminded him of his neuroscientist vixen. Every stop after that if there was a zoo, he went to see the monkeys to keep any contact with Amy alive.

He got as far as Maine, even going out onto a whale watching. The place he stayed at overnight recommended he buy another layer of clothing and was glad he took the inn's advice as the temperature dropped over 20 degrees. He kept to himself for that hour on the North Atlantic, but all he could imagine was Amy with him watching the whale blow out of the sea.

The next day, he started south again. He was surprised to get an email from Leonard's mother inviting him to her penthouse in New York City. He debated but decided that a visit could be good. Doctor Beverly Hofstadter was always enjoyable company as their time together was as a meeting of the minds. When he got to Dunham, New Hampshire, he got a ticket for New York City.

It entailed an overnight stop in Boston. He found himself unable to resist a visit to Harvard University. Walking around the campus, he found the buildings Amy had told him about during her time there. He pushed aside the stories she told of being shunned by many of her classmates and focused on his Amy as she studied diligently in her younger days. He found the Mahoney Neuroscience Institute and walked in.

Classes were in session but he wandered down the halls seeing a younger version of Amy everywhere he went doing different things….holding books, wearing a lab coat, listening to a lecture. When he turned down the hall, he saw portraits of graduates from every year. He found Amy's year and when he saw her picture with the caption of first in the class, he almost exploded with love. He saw that they used her legal name of Amelia, which he knew she hated. He didn't understand why as it was a beautiful name, but he respected her choice to be called Amy. When he found out she signed the Relationship Agreement with only Amy, he extolled to her how documents weren't legal with a shortened name. As a compromise, she signed a new Relationship Agreement and any document after that with 'A. Farrah Fowler'.

On another board he saw what seemed to be a wall of fame of selected thesis presentations. He swelled with pride when he saw one from 2002 from an A. Farrah Fowler on the effects of social interaction from pre-frontal cortex damage through the study of rhesus monkeys.

Suddenly, he was hit with a sense of sadness as he realized for the first time what he left behind in Pasadena. She wouldn't talk to him on Skype, but would return his emails. He saw that she was taking a summer position in Michigan at a small university. Why would she leave someplace distinguished to a smaller university who couldn't appreciate her talent? It wasn't even University of Michigan or Michigan State, but for a friend from Harvard who needed the time off. From her email, he knew the friend was a man and it make his mind brainstorm as he looked back at her class group photo. Committing the mens faces to memory, he resolved to find the one she was helping later.

He did wonder about her motives. Did she go north to get distance from him and their life in California? Would she decide she liked the other man and Michigan better and and decide to leave him behind? The final thought terrified him.

He remembered the first email she sent him after he left, where she excoriated him for his sarcastic response to her suggestion about moving in together. She held nothing back as she let him know how much she hurt her. Her words were biting, succinct, and cut right to the bone. He knew that their relationship was on shaky ground but was lost on what to do. How could he be with her when he had no idea on how to function in his life or career?

Suddenly feeling sick to his stomach, he blew it off as something he ate on the train. Walking out of the school, he found the bus stop to take him back to Boston. When he got there, he went to his hotel for the night. The next afternoon after a quick trip through parts of Boston, he set out for the train to take him to Pennsylvania Station. Maybe a few days with Leonard's delightful mother would do him some good towards finding out what to do with his life, not listening to some hippy dippy psychic fraud.


"Sheldon always wonderful to see you. Leonard tells me you are on a journey of self-discovery. Tell me, how is that going?"

"No major discoveries yet, Doctor Hofstadter. I do thank you for the invitation. It's nice to be with someone such as yourself"

She smiled as she walked closer. "Of course it is. While I prefer Doctor Hofstadter, you are worthy enough to call me Beverly"

Sheldon looked surprised. "My mom always told me to give people the respect they earn. I am just not sure if calling you by your first name does that"

She walked closer. "Please?"

Sheldon smiled. "Okay, Beverly"

"Let me show you to your room"

Beverly headed down the hall with Sheldon following. "So are you still in a relationship with the neurobiologist?"

Sheldon got sad thinking about Amy. "I-I think so. She went to Michigan for the summer to help a colleague"

"I see" she said. "Well, here's where you will stay. When you are settled, would you like to join me for a nightcap?"

"Do you have Yoo Hoo or Strawberry Quik? I don't drink"

"No, but I do keep Coke around for guests"

'Darn, he wanted the good stuff, but he was always raised to be polite. Plus any chance to talk to Leonard's mother was always exciting' Sheldon cleared his throat. "Coke sounds good. Thank you"

"Of course, Sheldon. See you in about an hour"

After Beverly left, Sheldon put his suitcase on the bed. When he opened it, he saw a purchase he made in Alabama, a small statue of a monkey in an astronaut suit. In a moment out of character, he felt his eyes water for moment before sucking it up. 'It's probably from lack of REM sleep from that hard mattress last night'

An hour later, he came out to the living room where he saw Beverly sipping out of a tumbler. He saw a glass of Coke on the table and sat down. He took a deep drink but spit it out and coughed when he tasted the drink.

"Sheldon!"

"Sorry, Doc-Beverly. I tasted something yucky in here"

"Oh, that's a little Bacardi rum. It seemed you needed something stronger that just a mere soft drink"

Sheldon recovered his faculties after a moment. "I'm sorry, but I don't drink alcohol. I promised my mother I wouldn't do drugs when I left Texas"

He saw Leonard's mother look at him not as Sheldon Cooper, but like a doctor to a patient. For the first time, he had an understanding of what Amy's test subjects went through as she studied them. It scared the crap out of him and he only knew he had to get out of the room immediately. "I'm very tired from my trip, Beverly. If it's not too rude, I am just going to go to bed. Tomorrow morning is Doctor Who on BBC America"

Beverly watched her son's friend move quickly out of the room and felt a moment of frustration. She was not a maternal person, but she did have warm feelings for her children. In her son's roommate, she felt what others would call a kinship.

It was her conversation with her son's intended wife that she found out about young Doctor Cooper's emotional collapse from all the changes in his life during the last few months. Fascinated by this change in the one friend of Leonard's who had promise, she decided to study him personally and give him a diagnosis to improve his life. After all, that is what does for a living, make lesser people better through her knowledge.

From the little conversation that she had with him, she could tell that he missed the neuroscientist desperately. One could say he was even in love with her. 'Fascinating' she thought to herself.

Suddenly, she was hit with another moment of emptiness that she felt from time to time. She kept them to herself to ensure that she was never seen as weak. She thought about how her life with her chosen partner was ruined by him giving into emotional needs and seeking companionship with a waitress of all people and now she was alone. She didn't want the same for Sheldon.

"Oh god, I am all pedestrian and sniveling' She thought to herself. Reverting to her clinical mode, she decided that the young man in her apartment should not have to suffer the same humiliation as she. Science needed Sheldon Cooper's mind to advance. Her son needed him in his life so he would not drown in emotional nonsense with his actress girlfriend. Determined to make her mark again, she decided that she would help get Sheldon Cooper back on track. She thought for a moment but then came up with an idea. It was unusual and involved feelings, but she would make it work. The future of science depended on it.


At two in the morning, Sheldon laid on his back staring at the ceiling. He was frustrated as instead of gaining insight into his troubles, things always somehow ended back to one thing.

Amy.

Right now, she was in another state, working she said. Another campus far away…..with many young men who may see her beauty and intelligence and appreciate it enough take her away from him.

The more he thought about that, the more he got rattled. He knew that Amy Farrah Fowler was his only equal. In moments of weakness, he would think about the green eyes he could get lost in. He remembered how they turned an interesting shade of emerald green after he kissed her on the train. It scared him more when he realized that he wanted nothing more than to make those eyes do that again. He felt his pants become tight so he tried Kolinahr but it didn't work and he was helpless as his thoughts continued down that forbidden path.

He thought about that shapely rear of hers. He always admired it, but didn't tell anyone. The day he helped her bathe when she was sick, he was a gentleman and turned away when she started to undress. However, he snuck a peek from the corner of his eye and saw the most beautiful thing as she stepped out of her panties. His hands itched to put his hands on those soft mounds and lead her to make the noises she made when he spanked her a day later.

It was for punishment that he spanked her, but deep down, it was a chance to touch that glorious part of her. He didn't spank her long and was barely able to get home before thinking about it again. Kolinahr barely got him through that episode.

Ever since that day, there were random moments when he wanted to do nothing more than to touch and taste. That kiss on the train accelerated those feelings to where he couldn't use Kolinahr anymore. In the last few months, he even had to resort to self-abuse in the shower to calm him down. He heard about how he would, as Penny would say, become 'handsy' with Amy when intoxicated. While he pretended that he couldn't remember, it was a lie because it was what he would think about more and more in his sleep.

He saw a sliver of light through his closed eye as his Vulcan hearing could hear his door open and close. A few minutes later, his insides turned to ice as he felt someone brush through his hair with their fingers. When he felt a kiss on his cheek, he lost it.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHEEEEE!"

Sheldon rolled to the other side of the bed and flicked on the bedside lamp. He observed as his friend's mother was lying on the bed staring at him smiling.

"Wha-wha-what are you doing in here?"

Beverly crawled closer. "I was in bed thinking about my other clinical cases but I kept coming back to you….my lost little lamb. I decided that to help me I need to help you since your girlfriend….girl who is a friend….whatever she is was not around. To do that, I decided that we could mutually satisfy each other and I see I came at the perfect time."

Sheldon sat for a moment confused until he saw where her eyes went. When he realized what she was talking about, his eyes bugged out of his head as his cheeks and ears turned red. In his attempt to cover himself, he fell off the bed. Without missing a beat, he scrunched himself against the wall. "Doctor Hofstadter, that is not acceptable"

She crawled over closer and Sheldon remained frozen hunched back at the wall unable to move. He could smell that stuff he accidentally drank earlier. 'Oh my lord' he thought to himself. 'What do I do?'

Having no options, he resorted to an old trick. He put two fingers to each side of the temple and attempted to blow up her brain with his mind.

Beverly merely laughed. "Oh, Doctor Cooper. Every neuroscientist has seen that movie. If it was possible, Darwin's theory of survival of the fittest would be the fit of our society right now instead of the unacceptable miscreants that populate our world"

As she got closer, he remembered Amy. "I can't because I love Amy Farrah Fowler and if I'm going to sin I want to with her"

He got the shock of his life when Beverly suddenly stopped and sat up. "Oh good. I was afraid I might have had to actually kiss you"

"What?"

Beverly got off the bed and stood up. "Doctor Cooper, you have one of the most brilliant minds in existence. I know because I've seen the scans. However, when it comes to love, as my future daughter-in-law would say, you're an idiot"

Sheldon's back became straighter as he sat up as much as he could from the floor. "Excuse me, but I am not an idiot!"

"You are. Your life is experiencing change and you are currently on a sabbatical to determine what trajectory your life will go. Instead of using it wisely, you are pouting like one of my test subjects. No, that will not do"

She walked closer. "You have deep feelings for this scientist. I have a great deal of respect for her as I have read her work in Neuron. I just wish I could find one for my Leonard, but I have to accept who he has chosen. She does have a few redeeming qualities, like a psyche I can study for decades"

Beverly stopped for a minute as she realized what she was saying. "I apologize as our consultation has gone off track. As I was saying, do you realize what you and Doctor Fowler could accomplish as a united front? Neurobiology and physics could help solve the mysteries of the world if you would only open your eyes to it"

"But—"

"But nothing, Doctor Cooper. You want to find out what to do with your life? Go back to the beginning. Just be quick about it. If you don't move fast enough, Doctor Fowler may find other ways to outlet her talent and it would be detrimental to science and our future."

As she was talking, she made her way to Sheldon until she was in front of him as he continued to sit on the floor. She wanted to try a hug, but she could only get herself as far as giving the younger man a pat on the back. "There there"

After a second, she stopped. "Okay, that's enough pedestrian whininess for one night. I'm a neuroscientist, not your mother. I am working early tomorrow morning, but you have use of the facilities if needed. Good night, Sheldon"

Beverly walked out and shut the door, leaving Sheldon still on the floor in shock. Slowly he got up and got back into bed. He shut out the light before moving to the middle of the bed and pulled the covers to his chin, unsure of what to do.


The next morning, he rose by six in the morning. He walked up to the television to watch BBC America, but to his shock, he didn't have any interest. Wanting clarity, he quickly packed up and headed back to the train station and took the first train, which was heading for Montreal.

Getting off in Buffalo, he purposely avoided Michigan as he headed south. Amy came back to mind again as he aimlessly stared out the window.

She stated in her last email that she went there for assist a friend, but when she called and elaborated about what she would be doing, it scared him. The fear that she would decide to stay there and never come back to Pasadena sent him in a panic attack more than once as he considered the implications. He screwed up and he knew it.

Suddenly, his head shot up. "I know where to go now"