Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are not my property. No copyright infringement is intended.
Spring had finally arrived in Colorado Springs after a cold winter and Sam loved riding her Indian again after having to drive her car during the long winter months. She gripped the throttle of her motorcycle as the cool air blew against her. Weaving in and out of traffic, she hoped she would not get stopped by the police. She knew she was going too fast since the road was still wet from a brief rain shower, but she had to get to Jack's house before he left for Minnesota.
When she had arrived at the Mountain earlier this morning, she hurried to Jack's office to tell him her important news. Running up the steps and coming to the top of the stairs, she could see Jack through the window of his office. His door was closed and he was pacing while talking on the phone. Daniel and Teal'c were already seated at the briefing room table as she realized she wouldn't get to speak with Jack in private until later. Heading to the locker room, she changed into her BDU's, quickly returned to join her teammates and saw that Jack was still on the phone but was now sitting at his desk. As she chatted with Teal'c and Daniel, Jack finally came out of his office as Daniel looked up at him.
"Morning, Jack. You were on the phone for quite awhile. Something big going on?"
"Nothing that I can discuss" he answered as he sat down. "Let's get on with the briefing so we can get you through the gate to the treaty negotiations. I have something else I need to do."
Her heart sank, realizing she wouldn't get to speak with Jack until they returned from the planet.
As the team had walked up the ramp, she turned and looked back at Jack and saw him staring at her with sadness in his eyes. The look surprised her as she stepped through the event horizon.
Daniel had done an excellent job of putting together the terms of the treaty that the leaders of the people on the planet had agreed to and everything had gone smoothly. After the treaty was signed, she, Daniel and Teal'c headed back to the stargate, knowing that Jack would be pleased with the outcome.
As the team came through the gate, they were surprised to see General Hammond waiting for them instead of Jack.
Daniel was the first one down the ramp. "General Hammond, welcome back."
The General held out his hand to shake Daniel's. "Dr. Jackson."
Sam smiled as she came to a stop beside Daniel and saluted. "Sir."
General Hammond returned the salute. "Hello, Colonel."
Teal'c stepped off the ramp and tipped his head in greeting. "General Hammond, it is good to see you."
"Good to see you too, Teal'c."
"Is this an official visit, sir?" she asked.
"Part vacation, part business. After your post-mission checks, meet me upstairs."
The three of them glanced at each other as they headed to the infirmary, wondering what was going on.
After stopping to chat with Walter for a few minutes, General Hammond climbed the stairs to the briefing room and sat down at the table as he remembered the conversation he had with Jack when he had stopped by for a visit in Washington two weeks ago.
He had been buried in paperwork when his assistant informed him that Jack O'Neill was here to see him. A smile came to his face as Jack entered his office and he stood up to shake hands with his friend.
"Jack, how are you?"
"I'm okay, George, how are you?"
"I'm good. Have a seat."
He closed the door and sat back down at his desk as Jack sat in the chair across from him and set his briefcase on the floor.
"This is a nice surprise. What brings you here?"
"Meeting with the President and the Joint Chiefs to tell them my decision."
"What decision is that?"
He watched as Jack opened his briefcase, pulled out an envelope and handed it to him.
"My resignation, sir."
"Resignation . . . but . . ."
Jack held up his hand. "Sir, please don't try to talk me out of this. I want to retire. You already know that I was never all that happy being in charge of the base. This is for the best. I've recommended Hank Landry for the job. I think he'd be perfect and I don't think there will be a problem getting him approved."
"I don't know what to say, Jack. As you know, I was hoping you would take over my job when I retire."
"Not going to happen, sir. I've had enough. I want to get out while I still have what little is left of my sanity."
He stood up, came around the desk and leaned against it. Pausing for a moment, he noticed how tired Jack looked. "I certainly understand but let me ask you something."
"Yes, sir?"
"Does this retirement have anything to do with a certain attractive and intelligent woman in your chain of command that is engaged to be married soon?"
Jack looked down at his hands and didn't speak.
"When I heard about Sam's engagement, I knew it would upset you, although you would never let anyone know that."
He paused for a moment.
"I remember the day that you and Sam met, I saw the sparks fly between you. You became teammates, then you became friends. That friendship grew into respect and admiration on both your parts. I saw the many times that you or Sam would try to hide how upset you would get when the other was missing or injured. It didn't surprise me in the least when the zatarc test revealed your feelings for each other. I wasn't blind to what was happening all those years. You have fallen in love with Sam and now that she's engaged to another man, it's breaking your heart."
Jack raised his head and stared out the window. "I can't . . . I can't watch her marry someone else, George, and I can't work with her any more. It's just too much."
"I understand. So, what are your plans?"
"Sell my house and move to Minnesota."
"You'll miss Dr. Jackson and Teal'c. Are you sure you don't want to stay in Colorado?"
"I'm sure. If they want to see me, they are more than welcome to come visit me at my cabin and that invitation extends to you too."
"Thanks. I might just take you up on that."
"I have a big favor to ask, George."
"Anything I can do."
"You may think this is the coward's way out and maybe it is but I'd like for you to tell Daniel, Teal'c and Carter that I've resigned and after you tell them, you can tell everyone else. I just want to leave quietly without anyone knowing, without having to tell people goodbye. I know what's going to happen. Daniel will get upset whether it's me or you that tells him. Teal'c may not like it but he'll be the most understanding and as far as Sam . . . I don't know what she'll think."
"You've been at Stargate Command for a long time and you've made a lot of friends while you've been there, Jack. Don't you think they'd all like to have the chance to give you a retirement party?"
"I don't want one."
"Have you and Sam talked about how you feel about each other since the zatarc test? Now that you're retiring, you won't be Sam's CO any more. This is the perfect time for you to let her know you love her. I have a feeling she's with Pete just because she thinks she can't be with you."
Jack stood up, wandered over to the window and looked outside. "She chose Shanahan over me, George. She didn't want to wait. It's too late for us. If she loves him, then she should be with him."
He could hear the bitterness in Jack's voice. "Give her a chance to choose."
Jack turned around. "Will you do this for me . . . please?"
He sighed and nodded his head. "Yes, I will."
"Thank you, sir. I'll let you know when I've worked out the details."
General Hammond came back to the present as he heard someone coming up the stairs and he looked up to see Sam.
"Have a seat, Colonel."
Sitting down, Sam glanced around. "Where's General O'Neill, sir?"
"Let's wait until Dr. Jackson and Teal'c get here and I'll explain."
As they waited, they discussed his job in Washington, his daughter and grandchildren. He was about to ask Sam if she had seen Jacob recently but was interrupted when Daniel and Teal'c came into the room.
"Where's Jack?" Daniel asked as he and Teal'c sat down at the table.
The General set up straighter in his chair. "He's why I'm here. I wanted you to be the first to know."
Sam suddenly had a feeling of dread. "What's going on, sir?"
"Jack has resigned, effective immediately. He's retiring."
Daniel's eyes grew wide. "Resigned?"
Sam stared at him. "But . . . why, sir?"
"Personal reasons. He gave me his resignation two weeks ago and asked me not to say anything to you or anyone else until now. When he knew that you would be off-world today to have the treaty signed, he asked me to come meet you when you arrived back on Earth and explain what's going on."
Daniel stared at the General. "Couldn't he have at least said goodbye to Teal'c, Sam and me?"
"This is the way he wanted it, Doctor. You all know that Jack is not one for big send-offs so he thought it would be easier this way."
"It isn't easier for us" Daniel spoke loudly. "How dare he do this! After all these years that we were a team, all these years of being friends and he just walks out without saying a word to the three people he's been closest to for the past eight years!"
"As I said, Dr. Jackson, this is what he wanted."
General Hammond opened a file folder and inside were three envelopes.
"Jack left a letter for each of you. I know this isn't what you expected but Jack has been considering retirement since . . . well, for the past few months."
As General Hammond handed out the envelopes, Sam stared at hers. "Carter" was written on the front.
Daniel sighed. "Is there not some way we can change his mind?"
General Hammond shook his head. "I'm afraid not."
"Who will be the new commander?" Teal'c asked.
"General Hank Landry. Jack has known Hank for a long time and Jack recommended him. The President and Joint Chiefs have given their approval and he will be arriving tomorrow."
Sam gripped the letter. "Is General O'Neill staying here in the Springs, sir?"
General Hammond leaned up and rested his arms on the table as he stared into Sam's eyes. "He's leaving today for Minnesota."
Sam suddenly had the feeling that he was trying to tell her that if she wanted to see Jack, she needed to act quickly.
"May I be excused, sir?"
She saw a glint in the General's eyes, knowing that he understood what she was about to do.
"You're excused, Colonel."
Sam stood up. "Thank you, sir."
Daniel watched Sam hurry away. "I think I know the real reason Jack retired."
General Hammond raised his eyebrows. "Oh, you do?"
"Sure. Jack retired because he's in love with Sam but since she's engaged to Pete, he doesn't want to stick around for the wedding."
General Hammond chuckled. "Always knew you were pretty observant, Dr. Jackson."
"You knew how they felt about each other for a long time too, sir, you just never said anything."
"No, I didn't. Didn't see what good it would do Sam or Jack to talk about it, since a relationship between them was against regulations. When Jack flew to Washington two weeks ago for a meeting with the President, he also came by to see me while he was there to give me his resignation. He gave me the excuse that it was just time for him to retire, that he had never liked running the SGC anyway. I knew that was part of it but not all of the reason, so I confronted him and he didn't deny it. He loves Sam very much but he isn't going to try to change the situation if Pete is really the man she wants to marry. Jacob and I were so hoping those two would somehow make it work."
Daniel grinned. "You and Jacob discussed Jack and Sam?"
"Yes, we did. Jacob thinks Jack is good for her and so do I. Jack has never been one to show his feelings and he's more upset about Sam's wedding than he will ever admit."
"You were trying to tell Sam that she needs to get to Jack's house if she wants to try to stop him from leaving."
"Yes, I was."
Daniel leaned back in his chair. "I know Sam didn't expect this any more than Teal'c or I did. Maybe this will push her into action. I don't think she's really happy with her choice for a husband."
Sam hurried to the locker room and sat down on a bench, her hands trembling as she opened the letter and began to read.
Dear Sam,
I know my resignation comes as a surprise. I just couldn't tell you in person how much working with you, Teal'c and Daniel for the last eight years has meant to me.
Somewhere along the way, you three became my family and I will miss all of you.
Since the day you and I met, you have held a special place in my heart. I came to admire your intelligence, your dedication, your loyalty, your wit and your kindness. On those rare occasions, I even got to see your goofy side.
You have deserved every promotion you've been given, earning my respect over and over again, and I am so proud of you.
You are beautiful inside and out and as much as I had hoped, I guess it was just never in the cards for us. You have Pete now and I hope he realizes how lucky he is and how very special you really are.
Be happy, Sam.
Jack
Sam choked back tears as she folded the letter and put it back in the envelope, knowing what she had to do. Jumping up from the bench, she quickly changed clothes, put on her leather jacket, stuck the letter in her purse, grabbed her helmet and ran out the door.
And now, as she rode along the busy streets, her thoughts went back twenty-four hours ago. She sat on a bench with Pete in front of the house that he had bought for them, breaking not only their engagement but also his heart. She would never forget how hurt he had looked when she had told him there would be no wedding. She had not wanted to hurt Pete, but knew that she could not marry him, knowing that she was in love with Jack.
After ending her relationship with Pete, she knew she could no longer keep these feelings to herself. She needed to work up the courage to tell Jack how she felt about him, even if it meant that he didn't feel the same way about her any more. She had made up her mind that when the team returned to Earth today after the treaty was signed, she would speak with Jack in private.
Between breaking her engagement yesterday and coming home from the planet to find out that Jack was gone, there had not been a chance to tell the most important person in her life that she was not getting married.
Coming down the street and turning into Jack's driveway, she breathed a sigh of relief to see that he had not left yet.
Pulling up in his yard and coming to a stop, she turned off the motorcycle, got off and removed her helmet. She noticed the bed of his truck was half filled with boxes.
Just as she was about to go up the steps to his house, the door opened and there stood Jack holding a suitcase.
"Carter, what are you doing here?"
"I need to talk with you."
Jack hesitated for a moment, walked to the truck, put the suitcase inside and turned to face her.
"General Hammond gave me your letter."
Jack stuck his hands in his pockets and looked at the ground. "I was hoping to be gone by the time you read it."
"I'm glad you haven't left because I have something to tell you."
Jack raised his head and looked into her eyes.
"I broke my engagement to Pete yesterday."
Sam could see the look of surprise on his face and she could feel her heart beating faster as he stared at her.
"Say something."
Jack turned and went into his house and Sam followed. Closing the door, she came down the steps behind him into the living room.
"Aren't you going to ask me why I called off the wedding?"
Jack walked over to the window and looked outside. "Does it matter?"
Sam frowned. "Yes, it matters. I broke my engagement because of my feelings for you."
"Which feelings, Sam?"
"What do you mean which feelings?"
Jack turned to face her. "The feelings that you didn't want to talk about but wanted to lock away? The feelings that we left in the room years ago?"
"I made a big mistake, Jack. I know we should have talked about it when it happened but the regulations were keeping us apart. What was I supposed to do? You weren't about to retire again so soon and we were both needed on SG-1."
"I would have waited, Sam, until the time was right but you got engaged to Pete!"
"But I broke my engagement to Pete! I realized I don't love him enough to be his wife, to spend the rest of my life with him. I don't care about him the way I care about you!"
"It's too late! You should have just married him!"
"So you won't forgive me, even though I finally faced the truth that I don't love Pete?"
"It has gotten to be too much! I've watched you for the last few months being happy and I wasn't the man making you happy!"
Sam took a step toward him. "But you can be that man now!"
Jack shook his head. "No, I can't."
He knew he should be ecstatic to hear that Sam wasn't marrying Pete but he couldn't help but remember those times he had seen them together and how hurt and jealous he had been. Since the zatarc test, he had felt that they would wait until the circumstances were right and they could be together, but she had chosen not to wait. He felt as though Sam had abandoned him. He knew a lot of what he was feeling was stubborn pride but he just couldn't give her what she wanted.
Sam stared at Jack. "Did I really hurt you that badly? I honestly didn't mean to. After the zatarc test, I thought we would wait until the time was right to be together, but years passed and nothing changed. Since we never discussed it, I didn't know if you even felt anything for me any more. I wanted someone to share my life with and Pete offered me that. He treated me well, he brought me flowers, he took me dancing, he made me feel like a woman. It had been a long time since I'd felt special to any man. I know I shouldn't have gotten engaged to him but I realized I was making a mistake and that's why I broke it off with him. Don't you see?"
"I think you should go now, Carter, and I need to get on the road to Minnesota."
Sam couldn't believe Jack was behaving this way as tears filled her eyes. "So that's it? All these years of waiting and wanting to be together and now that we finally have this opportunity, you think it's too late? You won't even give us a chance?"
Jack stared at her but didn't say anything.
"So this is goodbye, Jack?"
Sam knew how stubborn Jack could be and realized he wasn't going to budge on this. She headed to the door as Jack picked up a box and followed her outside.
Sam didn't look at Jack as she quickly fastened her helmet, started the motorcycle and sped down the driveway.
Jack stared at her with his heart breaking, suddenly wishing he could take back what he had said and give them a chance. Setting the box in the truck, he heard the sound of a horn and the screech of tires. Turning quickly, he watched as a pick-up truck slammed into Sam's motorcycle, spinning it around and throwing her off. The motorcycle slid into a ditch on the other side of the road as Sam rolled over and over on the pavement, leaving her sprawled on the highway in the damp and chilly air.
TBC
