Totally Awesome Story Ideas
This is what happens when you let a friend steal your notebook. She makes fun of fanfiction. And in a spurt of writer's block, her plot bunnies seem like good ideas. So you end up with this.
I am truly sorry for unleashing this upon the world.
Idea One:
Harry dies.
Being the Saviour of the Wizarding World meant you had a lot of weight on your shoulders. Harry felt like Atlas sometimes, carrying the whole world on his back.
He bore the burden until one day he couldn't stand it anymore.
Bing, bang, boom, squash!
Harry Potter was dead.
Idea Two:
Harry hits his head running into "Platform 9 ¾" and gets put into a coma. Months later, he dies.
"Hurry up, Harry, we're going to be late!"
"I'm coming!"
Harry pulled his trolley, carrying his trunk and his owl cage, through the mass of people that had all crowded into King's Cross.
"Just a bit further!" he encouraged himself, panting with the effort of pulling the trolley and shoving his way through the droves of people.
A path cleared and Harry grinned. Then, looking at the clock, he realised he had only a minute to get onto the train.
"Bugger!"
Barely managing to keep his grip on the handle of the trolley he raced forward, putting all his many years practice of avoiding Dudley to good use.
He approached Platform 9 ¾ at a dead run.
And hit the solid brick wall head on.
Minutes later an unconscious Harry Potter arrived at Saint Mungo's. His room was soon full of all sorts of gifts, flowers, candies, and cards, but it was to no avail. Three months later, his brain showed no recovery from its trauma.
It just stopped functioning.
Harry Potter was dead.
Idea Three:
Harry realizes that Wizarding just doesn't pay the bills and decides to work in a steel mill. He dies an excruciating death after been caught in machinery.
"I'm leaving, Dumbledore." Harry stood straight, daring the headmaster to argue.
"Why, Harry? Is it because of your fifth year? I told you that I was not sure if Voldemort had control or not."
"No," Harry denied vehemently, "this has nothing to do with that. It's just that Wizarding doesn't pay that well. I mean, Aurors get paid what, five galleons a month? That's not enough to feed a flobberworm! Naw, I'm getting a job in the Muggle world."
And with that, Harry Potter disappeared.
And with that, Evan Jameson appeared.
He worked in a steel mill. Not the best job, but it paid fairly well. And after all, who in their right mind would hire a man with no more of an education than primary school?
No wizard in their right mind would come into the dizzyingly noisy, dim factory, and Evan Jameson liked that just fine.
He was so concentrated on his job, in fact, that he didn't notice that his shoe was untied.
And of course his shoelace got caught in the machinery.
The company lost a significant amount of profit that week doing to all the steel having bits of human flesh pressed into it. Months later it closed down, the workers claiming that they could still hear the man's screams of excruciating pain.
Harry Potter was dead.
Idea Four:
Harry gets a sex change.
"You sure about this?" the doctor asked in heavily accented English. "It can't be reversed, no? You must be sure."
Harry just grinned. "I'm positive, doc. I've been waiting my whole life for this."
"Very well," the doctor said, pulling a clipboard off the dirty counter. "Sign this liability waivers and the agreement not to tell anyone that we're doing this, and we will go ahead with the procedure."
Harry grinned broadly and signed his name.
When he woke up from the anesthesia five hours later, he was a totally different man.
Sort of.
Harry Potter was a woman.
Hehehe. I won't tell anyone her name, but let's just call her The Fertile Crescent. You can hunt her down if you wish. Just remember that these weren't my ideas. I just ran with them. Cackling madly all the way.
