So, this started out as schoolwork for class but I couldn't help but translate it, put a little more detail and post here. I hope you like it.
MAGNUS POV
I looked around at all the dancing people. They were all talking and laughing. Having a permanent smile on their faces. But no matter how many people are surrounding me this loneliness just won't go away. That's the lesson I learned very quickly. And unfortunately one that I can't easily forget.
My mother killed herself when I was only five years old. She couldn't stand living in this cruel world anymore and decided to just quit. She hanged herself in the basement of our family house.
That was the first time I felt loneliness like never before. The first time I felt pain.
On the funeral I was surrounded by my cousins and all different people who were saying that it will be ok, petted me on the back and repeated how sorry they are over and over again. But it didn't matter. Their touch didn't change anything. It didn't make it better. Didn't make the loneliness go away. Because it wasn't the type of loneliness that can just disappear by touch. It was the loneliness of the hart and sole. The loneliness that slowly, but surely, just got bigger and bigger as I grew up. As I lost more and more. As I lost everything that I ever cared about.
After my mother's death my father fell into a deep depression. Blaming everything and everyone for her death. Drowning his sorrow and pain in alcohol. That was the second time I felt the same sorrow and pain as before. Especially after he died out of overdose just a few months after her. And with that left me completely and utterly alone.
They sent me to a new home and surrounded with other kids my age, but no matter how many people I met my loneliness just wont go away. It just continued growing, expending, getting bigger. It continued taking over my heart until there was nothing left. Nothing but loneliness.
I met a lot of people in my life, but as I met new ones I as easily lost them. No one stayed long. No one was permanent.
There were a lot of days when I was surrounded by happy and smiling people but it was like I was all alone in the room.
Days like this.
Because no one cares. No one cares about me anymore. I lost the only people who ever completely and unconditionally loved me.
And as years went by I lost everything else too and was left alone. Living in a world of pretending and fake smiles. A lonely person in a group of happy people. With a fake smile and a black heart, looking for that something that will save me from the dark. That something that will finally save me.
I laughed at something I wasn't even listening and took another sip of my drink. I didn't care anymore. I didn't feel anything. Left numb and alone. There was just the loneliness that became a big part of me.
I looked up and locked eyes with the most beautiful blue ones that I ever saw.
As I looked him over I saw that he alone was beautiful. Pale skin, black hair and that piercing baby blue eyes. He was the most beautiful person that I ever saw.
I flashed him a smile and saw with amusement how his cheeks turned bright red.
As he looked away I felt a strong want-no, need to go and talk to him. So I did just that. Getting up and walking towards him.
He looked at me with wide eyes as I approached him.
I smiled seeing him blush again. "Hello beautiful. I'm Magnus Bane. And you are?"
"A-Alec. Alec Lightwood." He stuttered.
He is so adorable. I thought smiling wider. "Well, Alec I would love if you would accompany me to the terrace. It's easier to talk there."
He looked around seeming nervous before nodding slowly. "Sure"
"Great." I took his hand and pulled him towards the door.
He tried to get it out of my grip but then gave up as he saw that I'm not letting go.
When we got out we started talking. Talking about everything and nothing at all. I felt intrigued by him. I felt the need to get closer to him, find out more. With this man I met only a few minutes ago I found myself feeling more at ease then with anyone else. So as he looked up at the stars looking so beautiful in the moonlight I couldn't help but to lean forward and press my lips onto his.
He was shocked for a moment. Staying completely still but then I felt him kissing back and it was the best feeling that I ever felt. This one small kiss was making me feel everything I never felt before.
And as we pulled away I smiled. A true genuine smile. Not the fake one that I showed for way too long but a happy one. And he smiled back. Eyes sparkling, reflecting the stars above.
That night we spent talking. With a few fleeing kisses.
It was the first time, in a long time, that I felt something else then the constant loneliness. The first time I felt love. The first time I felt like maybe I'm not completely alone.
So, what do you think? It's my first all human story. I hope I didn't screw it up.
