CMG: For quite some time, I have been musing on how to do this certain parody of a movie gone horribly wrong. Now after years of plotting, I bring to you the version that should probably not have ever existed. (laughs evilly) As usual, I don't own Dragon Ball Z. Now enter my world where everything went wrong. Rated PG-13 for minor violence, cursing of sorts (sorry kiddies; no censored version this time around), and brief nudity.

Treed

Part 1


Upon a planet, traders were trying to obtain seeds of a great and terrible power. Suddenly, an explosion ripped through the planet as a hand snatched the seeds in the midst of chaos. It was minutes later that the chaos faded when the person auctioning the seeds saw writing etched in the ground that read:

"Your seeds are mine and soon, this universe will soon face the wrath of Turles!" Evil laughter was heard out of nowhere as the lightning flashed in the once calm skies. "Muhahaha!"

"Turles!" the man yelled to the heavens themselves while clutching the note in his hand that ended up being a bomb that sent a paralysis gas on all of them.

"Can't… move…" one said.

"Damn… him…" another said.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

On a familiar planet hovering above Snake Way, a certain chubby man watched the scene unfold upon the universe.

"We're screwed," King Kai said bluntly.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

On some indistinct planet where lots of random things happen (like take over, threatening to destroy it, etc), peace seemed to be a thing that the planet itself had not seen for very long. Including with some random invasions, threats, and other things. However at the moment, it seemed relatively peaceful. Or was it…

"Hey! Where are the marshmallows?" Bulma's voice yelled as she looked in her backpack for the relatively vital gooey treat.

"I bet they were taken out," Oolong said.

"Yeah, by you," Bulma growled as she pulled out a rifle and Oolong flipped. "I bet you have them, pig!"

"Hey!" Gohan's cheery voice cried out.

"Gohan!" Bulma cheerfully said, hiding the gun behind her back.

"Bulma, are you threatening to kill people again?" Gohan said.

"Um… no…" Bulma said with a sweat drop running down the back of her head.

"O…kay…" Gohan said before turning his back to her. While his back was turned, Bulma smacked Oolong with the butt of her gun before throwing it in the bushes. "Anyway, I brought a lot of things because mom made me bring all of this stuff for no important reason."

"Are there marshmallows?" Oolong said; half-afraid that he would die in his sleep.

"Yeah," Gohan said as he pulled them out. Bulma quickly snatched them the moment that they entered his hands and started to cuddle the bag.

"Hey bud," Krillin said as he walked up the path with some firewood in his hands.

"Hey Krillin!" Gohan chirped.

"Since everyone's here now, let's go ahead and start having fun!" Krillin said as Gohan smiled. Suddenly, Goku comes running up the path, rather worried about something being totally amiss.

"Hey! Why are you guys here?" Goku said, seemingly stressed about something.

"Dad?" Gohan said.

"Um Goku, we're supposed to be camping, remember?" Krillin said.

"No you aren't! We're supposed to be heading to Namek to wish back our friends!" Goku said.

"Actually, everyone's fine," Bulma said.

"Huh?" Goku confused. "But Tien, Chou-su, Piccolo, and Yamcha were killed!"

"Oh nonsense!" Bulma said. "They're still alive. Speaking of that arrogant man, why isn't he here?"

"Knowing him, he's probably with some other broad," Krillin said. The moment those words left his mouth, he was thrown into a nearby river. "AHHHH! NO! HELP! I CAN'T SWIM AND I'M HEADING TOWARDS A WATERFALL!!"

"Yeah right," Bulma said while behind her, Goku was trying to use a fishing pole to catch his friend heading down a waterfall on top of Nimbus.

"Hang on!" Goku yelled as he casts the line and grabs the poor ex-monk on the back of his fighting gi and pulled him up.

"Whew," Krillin said.

"Anyway, why are you bringing that up?" Gohan said.

"I think your dad might be sick," Bulma said as she pulled out a cell phone. Seconds later, men in white coats appeared as the Earth-raised Saiya-jin looked like a deer caught in headlights.

"NO! NOT THE MEN IN WHITE COATS!" Goku practically screamed as he began running away from them wielding comically large butterfly nets into the woods.

"Come back here!" one of them yelled.

"Well, back to camping," Bulma said.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Later that night, everyone was asleep in camp when an explosion was heard. Moments later, a fire erupted through the forest and started burning down the forest like there was no tomorrow. Inside the tent, Krillin was sleeping peacefully when suddenly, the tent caught on fire and some of the fire hit his blankets. Screaming, he ran out of the tent and saw the others awake.

"Stop, drop, and roll, you fool!" Bulma said as Krillin's clothes seemed to burn.

"Gah!" Krillin cried as he did that.

"Um… maybe we should put out the fire, knowing that if we die, then no one would know what happened to us," Gohan replied.

"We're the strongest warriors in the world," Krillin started before Bulma cleared her throat as though trying to make him remember one valuable detail. "Fine. Come on, brat."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

About 45 minutes later, the woods were reduced to ashes and miraculously, all of the animals 'managed' to survive. However, they had no home to return to as Gohan and Krillin were panting from the strain of putting out the fire. Nearly all of the animals were looking at the warriors as though blaming them for something they did.

"We didn't leave the fire burning!" Bulma yelled at the animals.

"Maybe we should gather the Dragon Balls and tell Shenron to revive the forest," Krillin said.

"Aw, but I had plans with those!" Bulma whined.

"Wait until next year," Gohan said as Bulma began to cry.

"My chances for having a boyfriend are slim to none…" Bulma wept.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

After a lengthy musical that some certain company decided to cut from their film (and only seeing it once, I never got the chance to take notes on it T-T), Shenron was summoned as he hovered over the darkened field menacingly. All of the animals would have preferred to be homeless probably about that time rather than face a dragon who 'might' eat them if provoked.

"Okay," Shenron boomed. "Make your damn wish already."

Shenron boomed.

"Did Shenron just curse?" Gohan asked.

"Yeah," Krillin said. "He might be pissed off."

"Oh," Gohan said.

"When did we use the Dragon Balls last?" Krillin said.

"About two months ago and oh…" Bulma started before drifting off. "Now I see why he's pissed."

"I'm waiting…" Shenron growled.

"RESTORE THE FOREST!"Gohan yelled at the dragon.

"Piff, child's play," Shenron boomed as his eyes glowed and in seconds, the ashes vanished and the forest reappeared. "Just so you know, you have wasted a valuable wish and the next time you summon me, you will be grateful of what you have at this moment."

"What do you…" Bulma started before the Shenron disappeared and Dragon Balls flew off. "Damn that lizard!"

"Oh well, at least we did one good thing for the Earth," Krillin said.

"Hey, a dragon," Gohan said as he saw the familiar purple dragon. "I'm going to take it home with me and call him Hiya Dragon."

"Don't you mean Icarus?" Krillin said, reading Funi's script.

"No, Hiya Dragon!" Gohan rebutted.

"Icarus," Krillin countered.

"Hiya Dragon," Gohan growled.

"Icarus," Krillin growled.

This went on for some time, but finally, Gohan gave in and named 'Hiya Dragon' the stupid name 'Icarus'. After that battle to end all battles, the earth was at peace, or was it?

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Sire, the pod has detected life on the planet known as Earth," one of henchmen said.

"Very good," a familiar voice said as the 'camera' panned in front of the Goku-clone's face. "Then let us prepare phase 2."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

In the wee hours of the morning, Gohan and Icarus were playing a certain game together as they flew door to door leaving certain gifts at the doorsteps and ringing the door bell. They hid in the bushes and waited for someone to answer the door and step in the mess.

"This is great!" Gohan snickered. "I'm definitely going to enjoy doing this every day!"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Later on, Gohan and Icarus parted ways, but Icarus followed Gohan home. When Gohan got home, he walked into the house and then, Icarus tried to follow when Chi-chi screamed bloody murder.

"Gohan, get this disgusting animal out of my house!" Chi-chi yelled, holding a broom up like a weapon.

"But mom," Gohan whined, "I always wanted a pet dragon!"

"No buts!" Chi-chi hissed. "Take this monster back to the forest where he lives or no fighting!"

"Okay," Gohan said defeated. As he walked outside with Icarus in tow, Gohan heard a 'psst' sound and looked over and saw his father in the bushes.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"…and that's what happened between me and the men in the white coats," Goku finished. "When the forest caught on fire, they kind of died, but I don't really care since they were kind of annoying as hell."

"Uh… right…" Gohan said.

"Anyway, your dragon can live in this cave that I managed to make out of boredom and it's nicely furnished and everything," Goku said. "Besides, I don't see the problem keeping a rather exotic animal as a pet as long as you feed and take care of it, but don't tell your mom about it, okay?"

"I won't!" Gohan said as he hugged his father.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

On the edge of a cliff, Turles stood there with his group of henchmen as he laughed evilly while holding the seeds that would lead to the downfall of Earth if used.

"Turles, are you going to plant the damn seeds already?" one of the henchmen said. "You've been standing there laughing evilly for five minutes now."

"…" Turles stopped laughing. "You ruined the moment just now."

"Sorry," the same one said.

"Anyway, we need some fertilizer before we plant these seeds so it can grow a bit faster," Turles replied.

"Makes sense," a second one said.

"Perhaps we should go look for some?" a third one said.

"Do that," Turles said as he threw his cape back for dramatic effect. "In the meantime, I shall continue my evil laugher." And he does so until the other bad guys sweat drop. "Fine. I'll stop."

"Thank you!" all of them said at once.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

About 20 minutes later, the minions had managed to 'retrieve' a bag of fertilizer from a nearby gardening shop (-cough- K-Mart -cough-).

"So this stuff's called Miracle Grow, huh?" Turles read the package. "Well, let's see if it does a very good miracle growing the supposed Tree of Might!"

Turles dumps the dirt onto the ground and then pokes his finger into the mound of dirt before depositing the seeds into the dirt. Standing back, he waited. And waited. And waited. Finally…

"Dammit tree! Grow already!" Turles yelled at the buried seedlings; his tail bristling.

"Um… sire…" one of the minions said. "Maybe it might need water." With that, the evil warlord face vaulted.

"Fine," Turles seethed, rather bitter and angry that his 'beloved' soon-to-be-tree wasn't growing just yet due to the fact that it probably 'needed' water.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Another 20 minutes later (and another visit to K-Mart), the minions had brought back a gallon of water in a tank. Turles, snatching the giant jug dumped it onto the ground and then stepped back.

"Did you overdo the watering?" one of the minions said.

"Shut-up or you'll be killed," Turles snapped at the minion as they waited. And waited. And waited. Until finally…

"Damn you seedlings!" Turles roared in pure adulterated anger. "You've failed me! The future Lord of the Universe after I throw Freeza and his pre-successors over!"

"Um… sire? Are you discouraging them to grow?" another minion said.

"Quiet or I'll make sure that your remains aren't found," Turles growled.

"How will you do that?" a third minion said rather shyly.

"I have my ways," Turles smirked evilly; turning his attention back to the pile of dirt before him and blushing slightly as it was clearly seen across his dark cheeks and the bridge of his nose. "If any of you mention that I was nice, you will severely be tortured at my leisure before I kill you." The minions nodded nervously as Turles cleared his throat and knelt down to the pile of dirt. "Grow. Grow proud and strong little seedlings and make me some yummy fruit to eat."

Suddenly, the earth shuttered and Turles was sent flying backwards as a giant trunk plunged from the ground. Rubbing his nose to make sure it wasn't bleeding, he saw the tree starting to grow up to the heavens themselves.

"It's alive! Alive!" Turles cried in absolute joy.

"Yay," the other minions said flatly, holding a little, crudely drawn banner up that read: HuRRaY FoR tHe TREe Of MiGhT! :D

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Oh no," King Kai paled. "The Tree of Might has taken root. I have to warn the others."


CMG: And thus ends the first chapter of the story. Let me just say that I had trouble getting into the comical part of the story at the beginning because it was a lot of hard work and stuff. Anyway, I hope to hear some rather positive feedback (if doesn't go down anytime soon) and will have the next chapter out by sometime next week. Until then, lata!