Yeah, it's been a long time since I've posted a story on here, but I figured, hey why not? As you can see, I've gotten into yet another fandom. I don't like how it starts, really, but I like where it's going in my notebook, so I figured I'd post. Hope you like.
We know I don't own anything, so why bother saying it?
It started as a normal day at the office, minus the fact that Tim and Gareth hadn't annoyed each other all day. That confused Gareth a little, but it just made it easier to bring up the question he wanted to ask.
Despite his constant protests at being gay, his annoying desk mate had grown on him, and he had finally, reluctantly, allowed Tim a place in his heart. He had been thinking of asking the other man out, and he had finally gathered up enough courage to.
When it reached the end of the day and they still had barely talked, Gareth decided to ask the question. Better then than never.
He tapped Tim on the shoulder, heart pounding in nervousness.
"Um… Tim? Would you- what's up with you?"
The other man was staring off into space with a thoughtful expression on his face.
Tim blinked a few times and focused on Gareth. "Hmm? Oh- I was just thinking how best to phrase a question for Dawn."
"What're you asking her?"
Tim grinned proudly. "I'm going to ask her to marry me."
Oh.
For a split second, Gareth lost control of his expression and a look of pain flitted across his features before he could school them into indifference.
"You think she'll say yes?"
"Why wouldn't she? If she does, would you come to the wedding?"
With only a second of hesitation, Gareth nodded. "Yeah, I would. Good luck, mate."
-
That night at home, Gareth contemplated what that afternoon's events meant to him.
When he relived that short conversation between him and Tim, a cold feeling twisted in his stomach. The first time, the bloody first time he let somebody into his head and heart, they had to break it before anything even started. It felt like betrayal, but worse, since Tim hadn't even known he was doing it.
Why? What was so bad about him that made people not want to be with him? He wasn't overweight, he didn't look that bad, he thought. But… Tim had made fun of him for his appearance before. But now what? If Tim was getting married, then did he go through all of that worrying over whether he was gay or not for nothing? If he went to the wedding, would he be able to sit there and watch him and Dawn exchange words of love he'd be lucky to hear outside of dreams and insincere porn?
…No. I wouldn't. But… I still love him. There's something wrong with that, isn't there? He doesn't love me, and the sooner I accept that, the sooner I'll get over it. What kind of friend would I be to not feel happy for him for getting married?
Gareth nodded, proud of that sentiment, and went into the shower to try and relax.
-
He eyed the razor carefully. Did he really want to? It was dangerous, but he hated how he kept thinking of Tim.
Taking a deep breath, he drew the razor across his wrist slowly, and, seeing a line of red, did it twice more quickly, wincing at the pain. He watched the blood drip off his arm and down the drain, more coming to replace what was washed away.
Suddenly, after a minute of watching this, he remembered that he had to stop the bleeding so he didn't bleed to death. It wasn't hard to do, and he then went to bed, though it took almost an hour before he could fall asleep.
