Okay, so I am relatively new to the FDTD fandom, but I fell in love with the Kate and Seth dynamic and a few things popped into my head after watching the show. This is just something that played in my head and thought I would share it.
Something Like Normal
Seth made his way up the stairs, a cigarette dangling from his fingers as he fiddles in his pocket for the hotel key. It's late. Later then when he normally comes back, and he smells like cheap perfume and alcohol. The only good thing about the night is the girl that's sharing a room with him should be sound asleep. He hopes she is anyways. It's been nearly two months since the Titty Twister, and he still can't get the images out of his head.
The smells, the screams. All of it continues to haunt him. Them. He knows she relives it as well. They don't talk about it. They don't talk about much, but just knowing that he's going back to someone who understands where he's been is a comfort.
When he rounds the corner to their hotel room, he stops. The small figure leaning against his door with an un lit smoke in her hand confuses him at first. Makes him squint until he recognizes Kate sitting there, head resting back against the wall with her eyes staring off into space. The girl could have been sleeping except for the hand flipping the small circular blunt around and around. Fidgeting with it like she's trying to decide on what to do with it. He gulps. His stomach twisting at the sight. Wondering what the hell happened because Kate never smokes. Never succumbs to any of his methods that helps him forget. It's a reminder that she's stronger. So much stronger then him, and he can't help but think that whatever happened tonight, he almost doesn't want to know how bad it was.
Almost.
Because this is Kate, and if someone hurt her.
Taking a step closer, he kneels down in front of her. Noticing how her eyes never leave the view of the pool in front of their room. The lights reflecting the blue in her eyes and his gaze travels down. Taking in the broken and bruised skin across her cheek.
"What happened?" he asks, swallowing the lump that forms in his throat. He wants to rage. Scream and curse. Beat whomever it was that hurt Kate, but he can't because he doesn't know who it was, or where they are, and remaining calm is the only thing that's going to get him any information.
"I was attacked and I took care of it." The calmness in her voice sends a shiver down Seth's spine and he gives her a hard stare. Wanting her to look at him. Needing her to acknowledge him so that he knows she's okay. "Lost my key in the process." She motions towards the door, and Seth nods. At least now understanding why she's sitting outside instead of in the hotel room.
"Kate," he begins, her name almost a sigh as he ducks his head down to catch her attention and she looks at him. Eyes hard and determined. Like she is trying to bottle up whatever happened and move on.
"I'm fine, Seth," she says, swallowing the moment the words are out, but she doesn't break eye contact and they stare each other down. Eventually, Seth nods in response. Knowing that there are just some things a person couldn't talk about. Hell, he still hasn't spoken to anyone about what Richie did to their father. Why should she tell him every little thing that happens to her? He's just her kidnapper after all. The man that stole her and her family away to a middle of nowhere strip club, and got them all killed.
Why should she share anything with him? Two people so broken, neither of them know where to start putting the pieces back together. With a sigh, he hangs his head. Wondering, not for the first time, if he should make a phone call and get her in a better place. Somewhere that she could start pulling through this, but if Seth knew anything about himself, he knew he was a bastard and he needed her.
Giving her another long glance, he stands and holds his hand out for her. "Come on, Princess, let's get you inside."
Kate stares at his hand. Her gaze once again going distant before she looks down at the smoke still flipping around in her hands. Grabbing both hands, she drops the smoke into one and uses the other to pull her into a standing position and it's as her hand passes his line of vision that he notices the bruises. First around her wrists and then on the side of her neck. Anger seeps into him, causing his vision to flash red for a moment as he squeezes her hand a little tighter than necessary. When she pulls her hand out of his, he looks into her eyes and away as she pulls her sweater tighter around her. Covering the bruise and any other marks that he might see as they make their way into the hotel room.
Kate takes off straight to the bathroom, nearly slamming the door in the process and Seth leans against the motel room door, staring at the space as he pulls another cigarette from the inner pocket of his jacket. Cursing himself for not taking better care of her, mumbling a quick apology to Pastor Fuller, wherever he may be, and reminding him that he was a bastard after all. Couldn't even take care of himself, how the hell is he supposed to take care of a grieving eighteen-year-old girl.
For the second time that night he considers calling for help. Maybe finding a way to get in touch with that Ranger that followed them all the way down here. Sure, he only did it because they killed his partner, but that meant he cared. Meant he would do right by the girl, and again the thought of sitting in these hotel rooms alone strikes him and Seth closes his eyes. Shaking his head as he makes a grab for a black leather case full of syringes and needles and sits down at the table.
The shower runs in the background as Seth prepares his fix. Needing something to pull him from this reality. To help him forget, even for a little while, all his troubles this life has created for him. Forget everything that he's lost and could lose. It's as he's tying the band around his arm that the shower shuts off and moments later the bathroom door opens. Tying the band tighter, waiting for that vein to pop up, he feels the bed dip down and two slim arms wrap around his neck. Her wet hair resting between his shoulder blades as she says, "Please Seth, not to night."
Seth swallows, the guilt eating at him as he stares down at his arm. The vein becoming more prominent and he holds the needle up, ready to insert it into his skin when her arms tighten around him and her chin rests on his shoulder, giving him a slight view of her from his peripheral vision. "Please, I need you here with me. Please, just for tonight."
It's the plea in her voice. The almost broken tone that allows him to hand over his syringe. Watching as she carefully places it on the bedside table and moves to lay back on the queen sized bed they share. They stopped paying for extra beds a couple of weeks ago, finding the rooms with one bed less expensive, and more available.
It was awkward at first. Awkward still, but they pull through and most nights keep as far from each other as possible. With Kate laying on her side, back facing him and Seth lying there with one arm under his head and the other pressed against his eyes, hoping to get some relief from the nightmares that haunt him. Though to be honest, the only rest he gets is when he shoots his fix. As sad as that is.
Tonight, though, Kate curls up next to him as soon as he lays back. Her head brushing against his shoulder until he lifts his arm and wraps it around her. Pulling her closer until her head is resting on his chest, and her arms are wrapped around his middle. Holding him tight like she did that first night after the twister. The first and only night she cried her eyes out while clinging to him like he was some sort of life line. If truth be told, he clung to her that night too. Clings to her still. Which is why he wrestles with the decision to send her away.
"I just wanted something normal, Seth, "Kate whispers, her words raspy as the tears slip down her face. He doesn't look, can't see them really, but he feels them as they run off her face and onto his shirt. "Just one night of something normal."
Seth brings his hands up to her head, running his fingers through her hair in what he hopes is a comforting manner. "I know, baby girl," he says, brushing his lips across her forehead for a mere second before pulling her closer. She doesn't need to tell him what happened. Not exactly. It's written all over her skin, in her eyes. In the way her hands grip his shirt as her body shakes from the silent cry that she's attempting to stifle. "I've told you a hundred times that men are bastards. Haven't I?" He tilts his head enough to see her nod in response.
Kate curls closer to him, her head moving up to the crook of his neck. "He seemed different."
"They always seem different. Look at Richie and me." His voice cracks on his brother's name, but he pushes back those feeling for another time. Knowing that Kate needs him more at this moment. "Look how easy it is to talk our way into anything. Bet you wouldn't have guessed I was a bank robber when you nearly ran me over with that Winnebago."
Her lips lift up in what he assumes to be a smile as she says, "knew you were a weirdo."
Seth grins at that. Once again pulling her head closer so he could give her what could be called a hug. The smile falters the moment he feels her sag against him. Another sniffle escapes her and Seth can't help but hope that she's calming down as she says, "I guess normal just isn't possible anymore."
"Normal is a perspective," he replies instantly, his hand moving from her head to her shoulder to skim his fingers up and down her shoulder. "This…" He pauses, looking around the dingy motel room. Losing count at how many of these rooms they'd been in, in the month and a half they've been together. How many times they packed up in the middle of the night because a culebra or a police officer caught their scent. "This, princess, is the norm for us."
Kate nods, her grip now loosening on his shirt, and he can feel her muscles relax against his. "I'm glad I'm here with you," she whispers, pushing up and leaving a kiss on the edge of his jaw.
"Kate," he whispers, the words almost a gasp as his eyes close. His throat tightening at the guilt that builds up at her words. "If I-
"You have your faults, Seth," she says, interrupting him to push herself up and look him in the eye. "But out of all the fucking bastards that could have taken me, I'm glad it was you."
Seth glares at her. "I'm not a fucking bastard."
"Exactly," Kate replies, her hands coming up to rest on his face. "If you hadn't taught me everything you did after the Twister. "Her gaze travels downward, to her arm that is resting on his chest and Seth brings his hand up to cover the spot she's looking at. "I don't think I would be here right now." Her head hangs down, and the tears threaten to spill out again as Seth pushes himself up, using one elbow to prop up as his other hand caresses her face.
"Hey," he whispers, catching her attention. She glances up at him and then suddenly the need to know what happened out weighing the need to let her have some privacy. "Did the guy…Did he…" His words trail off, unable to actually finish the sentence and luckily Kate understands enough to start shaking her head without him having to.
"He died the moment he struck me," she says, her gaze coming up to meet his. "He's lying in the dirt somewhere with a stake through his heart, and the only thing I feel guilty about is trusting him so easily." Her voice cracks as she squeezes her eyes shut. "I should have known better." This time the tears spill out without warning, the sobs wrecking through her body as he pulls her against him again. Holding her tight, and rubbing circles across her back until the shaking stops, and the sobbing goes quiet.
In the morning they leave. Searching for the next town to lay low in. Some where they could forget that night, though neither of them speak about it again. It's there and done, much like the rest of their nightmares that plague them. He stays closer to her though, making sure the guys don't get to close to her. Keeping her close enough so he can watch her from a distance when she doesn't want him near. And that isn't very often. If she heads out on her own, it's an unspoken rule that she'd go to the markets. Where It's always full of people, and he would follow along not long after. Most of the time after he's coming down from his high, and they'll meet up at some point.
Always checking in with one another because they are all each other have anymore. The only people they can really trust anymore are each other. A sad truth that slowly sinks into their skin.
