A/N - This story picks up immediately after Brickyl. While it's not necessary for you to read that, please be aware there are references to Brickyl as well as other one-shots in this series. If you're interested in reading Daryl's evolution they are as follows: Playing in the Tombs (chapter of Walking Dead Hook-Ups), Suckering Short Round, Redneck's Roses, Detaining Daryl and Brickyl. Special thanks must go to mrsreedus69 and delena20 as they asked for most of the follow on stories, except Brickyl, that came purely from my kinky and angst-ridden imagination. Daryl of course couldn't allow me to make this a one-shot, so unfortunately you won't get all of Rickyl this week.
Sitting up straight, Daryl cracks his neck. It was stiff from where he had slept crookedly in the chair with the sun warming his bones. He doesn't look at Rick though he's aware Rick is looking at him.
He's rubbing the back of his neck, preparing to get up and on with his day when Rick speaks.
"Why?" Daryl stands without answering. He shoulders his crossbow, checks his knives and steps away without speaking. Rick says nothing further. He knows Daryl heard his question.
He'll answer. Eventually.
Rick goes about his day and the ensuing ones as winter sets in. Their stores are enough to get through, provided they ration carefully and can continue to bring in fresh game and provided they don't find too many more survivors.
Wincing at the horrible practicality of that thought he checks with everyone before heading toward the crops and animals. He spends the rest of his day making sure the few crops are covered and protected. Repairs a few things for the animals they have on the grounds now.
He's sitting inside the small shed rubbing circulation back into his hands when he sees movement from the corner of his eye. Jerking his head up, he sees Daryl standing in the doorway of the shed. Rick swallows.
"Hey." He says softly. He speaks as if he's talking to a skittish foal.
"Hey, you 'bout done or need a hand?" He asks quietly as he takes off his crossbow.
"Yeah, and yeah. Nearly done, could use a hand with what I've got left. Just moving some shit around so it's easier to get to is all." When Rick slips his gloves on again Daryl takes out his own and does the same.
Then he follows Rick's lead and they reorganize what he wants done. When they're finished Rick takes up the thermos of tea he'd brought out. He pours some into the lid and drinks half of it down. The wind is bitter today and it's getting in around the cracks in the shed. He sits on a bag of feed, moving his butt to get comfortable and hands the cup to Daryl for a drink as well.
He stops all movement when he sees that Daryl turns the cup to take a drink from exactly where he had taken a drink from the cup. "Jesus." He says softly as he catches Daryl's laser blue eyes looking at him over the rim of the cup.
His cock jerks and fills behind his jeans and long johns, flannel shirt and coat regardless of the freezing cold. Rick very nearly rubs it before he remembers he's being watched too.
"Because you wanted her and wouldn't take her and I wanted you to have her, because you wanted her and I wanted you while you had her, I wanted you to partake. For once I wanted you to partake." Daryl finally answered the question Rick had asked him nearly two weeks ago.
Rick stilled while his mind sorted out the confusing words. Daryl knew he wanted Beth. Daryl also knew he wouldn't take Beth unless he pushed the issue. Daryl also wanted him, wanted him to partake? "Partake in what exactly? One of your orgies?" Rick asks with rancor in his tone. "You know I've never been into that, why do you keep asking?"
Daryl shook his head. "No, not those. Just her." He stopped and poured more tea, drinking half of it down before handing the rest back to Rick.
Rick looked at the cup in his hands. Then he looked up at Daryl standing in front of him. And like Daryl had done he turned the cup and drank from the same spot Daryl had just done.
Daryl inhaled sharply as he watched Rick take a drink from the spot his lips had touched. He felt something bloom inside him. They stared at each other without moving.
"Why 'just her'?" Rick asked softly. "Why not everyone else too?" He questioned Daryl softly, his words flowing quietly over to Daryl's ears like a leaf downriver.
"You never showed interest in anyone else, only Beth that day on watch." Daryl answered him softly, whispering as if to talk in a normal voice would break the spell "Wanted you to have what you wanted." His words are confusing, even to himself.
Shaking his head he turns to walk away but Rick is up like a shot, His arm slams across the doorway blocking Daryl from leaving. "Sit the fuck down." He orders, still in a low voice but one that says in no uncertain terms that Daryl will obey him for once.
"Why did you fuck me that way Daryl? Because I'm not stupid, you were fucking me, not Beth that night." Rick stands in front of the doorway, deliberately blocking Daryl from leaving. Daryl sits on the bag of feed now, his shoulders hunched in self-defense.
Rick scrubs his hands over his face and curses. Daryl looks up at him. "You've never looked at me like you looked at her." He says baldly.
"How the fuck did I look at her Daryl? Because frankly, I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about." Rick is frustrated now. Something is teasing his mind, like it teased his mind that night Daryl had fucked him through Beth.
"It was the first time I'd fucked a woman since Lori. It's not something I'll be continuing to do. I don't want a relationship with Beth, Michonne, with anyone!" He finally finishes with his voice raised.
And the truth hits him like a sledge-hammer.
Daryl is up like a shot and somehow manages to feint and throw off Rick's block and slide out the door like a freaking eel. He walks away, head down, shoulders hunched.
"Fuck! I'm such a stupid fucking cunt!" Rick curses himself as he kicks the bag of feed they'd both sat on. He sinks down on it again and feels the residual warmth Daryl had left.
He didn't want to fuck Beth again, he didn't want to fuck any other woman. He didn't want a relationship. But Daryl wanted one with him. "Fuck." He mutters to himself now.
Grabbing up the thermos he screws the lid on and then picks up the cup, shaking out the last dregs of tea before he goes to screw that on too. And he pauses, thinks of the way Daryl had turned the cup to drink from where Rick's own mouth had been.
More than that though he stared at the cup, running his thumb over where their mouths had touched together. He'd done the same thing. Deliberately. And Daryl had seen him do it.
Daryl. Who had brought him a woman, the only woman he'd had sexual thoughts about other than Lori. He'd gifted him with Beth. Yes he'd participated. But didn't he deserve to? He'd fulfilled a desire of Rick's while at the same time he'd fulfilled a fantasy of Beth's. He'd done that for both of them.
But he hadn't come. Rick remembered that. He remembered the look Daryl had given him as he'd stood up, before he'd kissed Beth goodbye. That look, fuck. What had Daryl gotten out of that night truly? He didn't know. Was beginning to think he'd never know.
Screwing the cup on the thermos Rick wrapped the scarf he'd hung on a hook around his neck and shoved the beanie on his head again as well and walked out into the waning afternoon light.
Despite the daylight nearly being gone everything was extremely bright to his eyes. He blinked away the moisture, telling himself it was just the coldness in the air causing his eyes to water.
At dinner that evening he is unsurprised to hear Daryl had gone on another hunt. He was relieved. He needed to think.
Over the next weeks Ricks thoughts are tumultuous at best, a snarling mess of obsidian and laser blue eyes and surprisingly soft lips at worst. He dreams in two colours, laser blue and obsidian. He wakes with his heart beating for something he doesn't know, doesn't understand. And he mourns for something he thinks he's lost as if his beating heart had been torn from his chest.
Single words run constantly through his head, occasionally they coalesce into a short blunt sentence. How? Why? When? How had this happened? Why him? Why them? When had it happened? Why hadn't he realised when it had happened? Over and over they batter at Rick's brain until he fears for his sanity all over again.
And one night sometime later, as winter turns to spring and opens the door to warmer breezes where people are sure they smell the ocean on them, he walks what is a well-worn path now. He stops as he sees a hardy wildflower sticking up out of a patch of still melting snow.
Impossible. And yet there it was. It hadn't been trampled by booted feet going from A to B. It hadn't yet been frozen by growing out of the snow. A singular drop of colour against a dirty white background. Staring at it, Rick realises what has happened.
Rubbing his chest he kneels and touches a finger to the wildflower. Strokes a dirty finger over a petal as if it was the most precious thing in the world to him, something to cherish, hold, keep close. And more, it was something to nurture. For the rest of their lives, it was something he should nurture.
And like the wildflowers three steps away that had been trampled, that is what he had done. With his own preconceptions and fucking stupidity. He'd trampled instead of nurturing. He was such a fucking idiot.
"You'll kill it if you pick it." The soft, almost whispered words slide through the air toward him, giving him a surge of hope so strong he nearly stands and crashes headlong into the person who'd said them.
Instead he strokes the petal one more time, envisioning someone's face in its place. Then he pulls his hand back curling it into a fist. Resting it on his thigh he takes a deep breath. And then another. And then he stands slowly and turns around.
Obsidian eyes, slitted like a snake as they watch him lazily. Hip cocked and simultaneously his shoulders were a weird combination of hunched and straight. No one else could stand like that. Rick knew it was because of the weight and place of the crossbow on Daryl's back.
But no, this wasn't Daryl. Not his Daryl. His Daryl had blue eyes, not obsidian eyes. This was everyone else's Daryl.
But at least this Daryl was speaking to him. "Wasn't gonna' pick it. Just admiring its survival instinct." He said softly as he drank Daryl in. For these past months he'd only seen him coming or going, never standing still long enough to truly look at.
"How's the huntin' goin'?" He asked as he began to walk back inside. He'd taken two steps before he realised Daryl hadn't followed. He glanced back in time to see Daryl deliberately lift his booted foot and crush the wildflower under his heel.
Like Rick had crushed his heart.
Acting on emotion Rick turned back and hurtled at Daryl. He barely had time to swing his crossbow to the ground before Rick tackled him. They went down in a sprawling mass of limbs and grunts of emotion.
The fists they exchanged were vicious and nasty. They split each other's lips. Blackened eyes and bruised ribs and Daryl being a dirty fighter managed to get a couple of sucker punches into Rick's kidneys. But it was his punch to Rick's groin that ended the fight.
He stood, breath ragged and warm as it rushed out in the evening air. "It was a fucking flower!" He exclaimed to Rick as he spat a globule of blood on the ground, narrowly missing it hitting Rick himself.
"It was more than that and I know it, don't you think I don't." Rick said tersely as he sat up holding his arms over his stomach. Ignoring the hand in front of his face he smacks it away instead and rolls to his knees and then stands slowly.
He cups a hand over his groin, "Guess fighting dirty is the only way a Dixon can win a proper fight then." He says sarcastically as he begins to limp back to the prison. He stops at the place of the smashed wildflower and looking back at Daryl, he also spits a globule of blood down on the ground.
Whether by design or accident it lands directly on the crushed wildflower.
Daryl's keening moan says more than a thousand words ever will.
And Rick feels what is left of his own scarred and scabbed over heart crack and die under the strain.
##########
They were back to sitting on the ground again, it was still a little damp but it felt good to sit on it anyway. And Herschel had scrounged a tarp so their bones didn't get too cold. Laying back and letting the morning sun soak into him Daryl finally felt warm in a way he hadn't done all winter.
Was it because he'd finally let go of hope? He thought of the fight he'd had with Rick some weeks ago and rubbed his fingers across his top lip where he now carried a small scar from where Rick's fist had caused his canine to punch through his lip.
Still and all though, he'd noticed Rick's knuckle also carried a scar from what Daryl thought was the same punch. He still didn't know why Rick had gotten so bent out of shape over his stepping on the wildflower.
Fuck that shit, his conscience yelled at him. You so fuckin' do know why.
The scent of coffee rouses him. Opening his eyes he sits up and looks at Herschel standing there holding two steaming mugs. "Holy fuck, they found coffee on the last run?" Daryl questioned reverently as he took booth mugs and inhaled deeply as Herschel got himself situated.
"They sure did, I asked them not to tell you last night so I could surprise you." He grinned engagingly as he took a mug back from Daryl. "I didn't know how you took yours but I figured, in for a penny in for a pound so I put in milk and sugar, might as well have a sugar high as well as the unaccustomed caffeine high too don't you think?"
"Hell yeah." Daryl inhaled again and then took a sip not caring that he scalded his tongue. Despite doing so, he took another sip. "Fuck that's good. Now if I had a cigarette as well life would be fuckin' perfect." Herschel laughed.
"And a warm body in bed to go back to at night would be the icing on the cake." He smiled wistfully at the thought.
"Think you'll ever find someone again?" Daryl asked quietly. It was a thought rarely off his mind these days.
"Well, it's not something I'm looking for Daryl, I have to say. The good lord saw fit to bless me not once but twice with strong-minded beautiful women that gave me children, love, family that I'd never had growing up myself. I don't think I can expect he'll give me another chance." Herschel said quietly. He knew why Daryl was asking. "But having said that, I like to think I wouldn't be averse to finding someone else either. If we were compatible and liked each other. And I never thought I'd hear myself say that." He trailed off suddenly.
"Got someone in mind ol' timer?" Daryl teased him after they'd sat in silence for a time.
"No, I didn't. But, you've made me realise that maybe I should have." Herschel said musingly. And then, "But enough about me, what are you going to do?"
Daryl blinked. "Do 'bout what?"
Grinning Herschel shook a finger at him as he finished off the last of his coffee. "That really hit the spot, I want to know what you're going to do to be happy." He put his mug down and rested back on his hands letting the sun soak into his bones as well. Who would have thought he and Daryl would end up having a daily chat here, weather and work permitting and grow to become fast friends? He certainly hadn't, he'd started seeking Daryl out to talk about their home and when Daryl hadn't minded him doing so in what used to be his own silent morning meditations he'd continued to do so.
It had been months before he'd realised he was doing it as much for himself, if not more than to talk about their home. Their daily talks got Herschel through some fairly trying times as well.
Whether he realised it or not Daryl was a calming influence to be around. An old soul.
"Don't think I'd survive." Daryl's words are soft and very nearly break Herschel's own heart with their sorrow.
"Surviving is what you're doing now, would it be that different to try again and not succeed?" He asked softly.
Daryl lay back down again and closed his eyes. He puts his bandanna over them to block the sun and puts his hands behind his head. "I don't know Herschel. I just don't know. As a rule Dixon's never had good long-term relationships anyway, so if I went there and tried again and it worked, it still wouldn't last. We're fuck-ups, all of us in that respect. Like it's in our DNA or somethin'."
Before Daryl realises what has happened his bandanna is yanked off his face and snaps out and across his body flicking across the underside of his bicep in a stinging snap.
"Fuck!" He sits up looking over at Herschel. But it Herschel is looking over the other side of Daryl.
Rick is kneeling there with the bandana dangling from his hand. His face a thundercloud of anger. "You don't fuckin' say that shit about yourself. You don't put yourself down. Every person who knows you knows fuckin' well you can keep up a relationship. You're nothin' like your kin. You put yourself down like that again an I'll fuckin' beat it into your thick skull Daryl, see if I don't and you won't sucker punch me this time I swear to fuckin' God." Rick is up and away before Daryl can close his jaw from the shock or ask for his bandana back.
"Guess that answers your question about what you're going to do to be happy. Because from that little temper tantrum speech I think your time as a single person is running out." Herschel grinned at him as he maneuvered to his feet. "Rick is about to start reeling you in I think Daryl, whether you want to be reeled in or not." Laughing lightly Herschel bent and took up the mugs and walked back inside to deliver them to the kitchen.
Daryl folded up the tarp and put it with the chairs. He goes through his working day on autopilot. That night, as he's eating dinner with Glenn, Maggie, Herschel and Beth he feels a spreading heat against his back as Rick sits down beside him and across from Glenn.
He doesn't say anything and continues to eat, shoveling food into his mouth mechanically. He slides over toward Herschel as Judith squeezes herself in between he and Rick and he lets her crawl on to his lap as he finishes eating. Rick wordlessly pushes her food to him and he begins to help her eat her dinner.
Absorbing himself in Ass Kicker he laughs quietly as only she can make him do and it's only when she's gone off with Carol that he tunes back into the conversation. They're talking about runs, longer ones. Larger groups. Daryl stays silent for the most part, they were talking about something he'd broached months ago, before winter had set in.
It's only after a while that he realises Rick was leaning on him slightly and he was leaning back. It was something they hadn't done since summer. It was a habit they had of staying connected with each other during the day, especially if they hadn't been together for a little while.
And more than the leaning, tonight Rick's thigh was resting hard up against Daryl's as well. As he realised this a surge of heat flashed through his body, culminating in his cock as it began to fill behind his baggy jeans. Herschel was right he realised suddenly. Rick had decided or realised that Daryl was who he wanted and he wasn't letting Daryl get away.
That thought finished off his arousal and he became painfully hard. Thankful the table hid that fact he couldn't help leaning back against Rick and pushing back with his thigh as well. Saying yes, without physically saying yes.
Then Rick is moving his left arm back and behind Daryl as he stretches. Daryl moves with him, sitting up again. He looks over at Herschel who winks at him before returning to the conversation. Beth grins at him as well before standing and heading off. Eventually talk wanes and Herschel leaves as does Maggie heading for a shower.
"Coming Daryl?" Glenn asks as he stands preparatory to heading to bed, assuming Daryl will follow like he usually does when Glenn asks.
"Nah, done with that shit Glenn, I told you." He answers automatically like he has done for months now. He's ashamed to admit he hadn't wanted to really take part in anything since that night in the tombs that had finished with him taking Beth and Michonne at the same time.
He's even more ashamed to admit that Glenn and his wiles had still managed to talk him into participating several more times at least. It was a hard habit to break, being open sexually. A lifetime's habit if he was being honest with himself.
Not that he was closing himself off sexually, far from it. He'd just finally realised that variety wasn't everything. Now, one person was everything. The person sitting beside him.
He tunes back in with Glenn's words. "Hasn't stopped you before, let's go." Glenn started to walk away assuming Daryl would follow. But he stayed where he was. His decision to stay is bolstered by the firmer press of Rick's thigh against his own.
"Think Daryl's no actually means no Glenn, you have a good night now." Rick says quietly as Glenn turns around for a second time. Daryl looks up to see him narrow his eyes as he looks from Daryl to Rick. And the grin that crosses his pleasant-looking face is far from pleasant.
"Oh, like that now is it? Well Rick, good luck. But just so you're aware Daryl likes variety. You won't keep him faithful for long." He looks back at Daryl. "And if you think I'm taking you back again you're wrong, you don't come with me, I'm done with you good and proper Daryl."
Before Daryl can say anything Rick is up and looming over Glenn. "You say a fuckin' word like that again in your life about Daryl, you even think it and I'll shove a fuckin' shiv so far up your ass you'll shit out your mouth the rest of your fuckin' life Glenn, you just fuckin' try me boy."
The few remaining people in the common area all stop and stare at Rick and Glenn.
Glenn was far from a pussy but nor was he stupid. He recognised the absolute truth in Rick's words. More he recognised the truth in his eyes. And Daryl's eyes he realised as he glanced back at him. It was the way he looked at Maggie.
And so Glenn bowed out with what little grace he could still take with him. A nod to Rick. A nod to Daryl and he turned and walked away. He stopped again after a couple of steps and turned back. "Good luck Daryl, you deserve love like the rest of us you know. I never did tell you that." He said as he looked into Daryl's blue eyes. And then he turned and walked to his room and Maggie.
Rick released a breath as he turned back around and looked at Daryl. He was expecting a hell of a dressing down for going to town on Glenn like that. He'd never understood Daryl and Glenn's relationship if that's what it had been. But he was as sure as the sun rising every day that he'd just made sure they were well and truly done.
Laser blue eyes stare up at him in a face blazing with colour. Lips parted and nostrils flared. Blue eyes. The crack dividing his heart began to close up. Daryl's eyes were blue again. And…he had fucking watch. Rick groaned as he closed his own eyes Opening them he looked at Daryl who was frowning at him.
"I've got watch now." He said.
Daryl grinned. "You know where I sleep, been there often enough before."
Rick nodded and backed away. "We need to talk. A lot."
Daryl nodded now. "Yeah, a lot. Don't mean I won't be naked when you get there though."
Rick groaned. "You fucker." Daryl laughed at his words.
"You wish Sheriff, you wish." He said as he stood and stretched and walked away to his own room.
He didn't look back and neither did Rick when he turned and went to take his shift on watch.
They didn't need to. They knew there'd be more now.
##########
Daryl showered before he got into bed. He scrubbed himself raw and washed his hair twice before towelling it and himself dry roughly as well. He ignored the red patches on his skin from the scrubbing brush he'd used. They'd settle down soon enough. But he needed to be clean for Rick.
A need was thrumming in his blood by the time he got into his bed. Naked as he had said he'd be. He had no idea where they were going, but he was ready to get there. Had been ready for months. But he'd fucked up several times along the way.
But so had Rick.
So, they'd start tonight off new and fresh and all that shit. Suddenly though, he felt vulnerable lying naked in his bed. He sat up intending to at least put a pair of sweatpants on when a shadow moved over his bed. A battery lantern flicked on and off again quickly, but it was enough for him to recognise Rick.
"Hey." He said softly.
"Hi honey, I'm home." Rick answered softly making Daryl snort attempting to muffle a laugh.
"Usually the other way 'round, I'm climbing in bed with you." He swung the covers back and Rick sat down and bent to remove his boots. Daryl pushed himself back and rolled to his side, pillowing his head on his hands as he watched Rick's shadow move. He unbuttoned his shirt and shrugged it off with his jacket at the same time.
Pulling off his undershirt he unbuckled his belt and unfastened his pants. He stood for a brief second to push them and his underwear down, then he bent to pick them up and toss them over the chair with Daryl's clothes. It made his heart beat faster, that their clothes were just tossed over the same chair like that.
They were together, or they would be if they could sort through their mental shit.
Settling into bed Rick sat and rested his back on the wall, drawing the covers up around his hips. He frowns as he strokes a hand down Daryl's back and he winces a little. Leaning over he grabs and switches on the battery lantern again.
"What's wrong?" He asks as he shines the light on Daryl.
"Nothin', just scrubbed a little hard in the shower is all." Daryl said as he turned his face away from the light.
Rick held the light closer and tore the sheet away without warning. Raw red patches of skin met his gaze. What the fuck? He stared for several moments trying to process what he was seeing. Finally not knowing exactly why he looked up at Daryl with trepidation.
"Why did you scrub so hard Daryl?" He questioned quietly.
Daryl rolled his eyes. Then he looked back up into Rick's eyes and said without hesitation. "Clean body, clean slate." And he reached for Rick, pulling him down by his neck and for the first time in months he kisses him knowing that the kiss would be returned.
Rick gets lost in Daryl's kiss. It had been so long, he'd missed Daryl, missed coming to him at night after watch before Daryl started his. Missed sliding into bed beside his warm body, missed Daryl sliding into bed when he was already warming it.
"I can't say I miss the smells of everyone that you used to bring back with you, I'll admit that. But you didn't have to scrub yourself raw for me Daryl. You could have just asked me to wash you or something you know." Rick pulled away to say softly. He kept the lantern on to see Daryl's face, to see what he says non-verbally.
He was wily, would often test Rick by giving an answer without words. But Rick enjoyed learning and learning 'Daryl' was going to be an enjoyable and occasionally frustrating challenge. But one he was looking forward to.
Getting out of bed and leaving the lantern on, he steps to where Daryl keeps his few toiletries. He'd seen something, yes there it was. Grabbing up the tube he moves back to the bed. "Lie down on your back, we'll do your front first." Moving the lantern to the chair Rick pulls the curtain across the doorway properly and then opens the tube and squirts lotion onto his palm.
Rubbing his hands together to warm it he sits on the bed and begins to smooth the lotion over the raw patches of skin on Daryl's front. He doesn't speak and Daryl is docile under his hands which is a far cry from normal.
Stopping only to squirt more lotion Rick slowly works down Daryl's body to his feet and then back up to his arms and then he rolls him over. Daryl moves compliantly. Rick straddles Daryl now, sitting on his knees he rubs the back of Daryl's thighs, soothing the skin and then up over his buttocks and back.
Moving on to his shoulders as he moves up and straddles Daryl's thighs now. He feels Daryl move under him with a groan and knows he's aroused him. "Why didn't you come inside Beth?" Rick asked out of the blue. He's rubbing the last of the lotion into the back of Daryl's neck and he finishes as he asks and moves off Daryl. Turning to sit on the bed and resting his back against the wall again, he absently rubs a little leftover lotion on his own chest.
Jasmine scents the air from the lotion. It reminds Rick of hot summer nights under the stars.
"Didn't feel right. Haven't done that since I realised you were what I wanted to come home to." Daryl rolls onto his side and lays his head in Rick's lap. Ricks hand smooth's his hair, or tries to.
"You really need to comb this sometimes you know. And how long ago exactly did you realise that? It's been months since we've been together."
"Was, the night Maggie lost the bet to Michonne, I went back with her an' Beth after. I came in Michonne in the tombs and then in the room with 'em, I was enjoyin' myself, didn't come quick because I'd already come. And when I'd finished I saw how they were with each other." Daryl rubs his cheek on Rick's thigh. Rick doesn't say anything knowing Daryl hasn't finished.
"When I got back, you were here. Warm an' in bed waitin' for me. Felt like shit for leavin' you alone, Should've been here with you. Realised it was where I wanted to be, that I only wanted to come home to you, be with you. An' after that, it seemed wrong to come in other people. Even with you and Beth. Because I wouldn't have come in you." Daryl paused and drew in his breath.
"But I didn't think you wanted more than what we had, 'specially when I saw you wanted Beth. Same time though I didn't feel I could ask for more or had the right to say I wanted more. But I knew I could get her for you, give you a woman to fuck instead of me."
He closed his eyes and reached over Rick to switch off the lantern. Then he moved further down in the bed and pulled Rick with him. Rick let Daryl lie on his shoulder. He wasn't normally a cuddling man so Rick treasured his need for it tonight.
Tomorrow and more talk would come soon enough. Sex crosses neither of their minds for the moment. It is enough that they're together.
