Title:
Connection
Summery: Jag searches for connections in his life
Spoilers: Exile
rating: PG
Disclaimer: Characters belong
to George Lucas I am just playing
Jagged Fel.
The man who
had once been Jag Fel stared into the mirror and wondered just who he
was now. What he had said to Luke Skywalker had been correct, he was
as much twin suns three as anything else. He was no longer Jag Fel,
son of Baron Soontir Fel.
It was a mistake to think of his family, and almost instantly pain shafted through his stomach, making him clutch at the basin in the fresher.
He could think of no greater punishment, to know your family was alive and be barred from them forever, to wonder aimlessly about the galaxy in hopes of redemption, and knowing it would be forever out of your grasp.
The mock competition with Zekk had surprised him. Certainly he had always been competitive with Zekk, knowing that he shared both Jaina's childhood and her gifts as a Jedi, but he had believed that he could distance himself from that. The need to find Alema Rar had consumed him for so long it had eclipsed anything else. But with no new leads and with only Zekk and Jaina for company he had let his guard down slightly.
He could admit to himself that his need to prove himself against Zekk was useless but he recognized the need for acceptance-to connect with something of his former life, however strange that might be, or how childish. The contest with Zekk had been little to do about winning Jaina's affections; his feelings for her were far too complex to begin disassembling them. And he wasn't even sure he wanted to anymore.
The simple flirting with
Jaina and baiting Zekk gave him a reason to connect with someone.
Once Alema Rar was captured, he had little doubt that he would leave
his path murky and dangerous. There was only one certain thing.
He
would be alone.
He straightened and walked back into the
command post, aware that Jaina and Zekk were still talking.
After
this mission he would never see Jaina or Zekk again, so what was the
harm in a little harmless fun, if it made him alive for a little
while.
End
