Title: i'm not everything you want.

Summary: it breaks around her, demanding her to be perfect, demanding her to be the best.

Authors Note: Warning: This is angsty, sort of. Set after she loses UPenn.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.


it's always been melissa, melissa, melissa!

oh, aren't you proud of your big sister?

small hugs and small kisses and kind words about the eldest hasting's daughter, dainty taps on the noses and whispers about how one day that'll be her; that she would be the best at everything.

it breaks around her, demanding her to be perfect, demanding her to be the best.

she tries her hardest, giving everything to school, into getting into upenn.

and yet she still manages to fail, she still manages to have melissa outshine her.

she still manages to disappoint, to be a failure.

disapproving stares, disapproving whispers, disapproving snickers from across the dinner table.

she'll be a joke, the punchline.

she hides the envelope away, pushes the fears into the back of her mind.

because she has other things to worry about, getting into college isn't her biggest concern.

her best friend was murdered.

her boyfriend's mothers suicide is sketchier than it seems.

another murder has taken place.

the list could go on, getting into college is somewhere down the bottom of the list.

(but it's not, because it's somewhere up the top.)

she's supposed to go to upenn, study, get a job, follow in her parents & melissa's footsteps.

she's meant to be the best, to be the greatest, highest marks, accomplishments.

everybody's supposed to be grinning at her, idolizing her.

not her damn sister.

not her damn sister that is shady as hell.

ever since she was born people have held all these high expectations for her, she's meant to be this, meant to do that but she isn't everything they want. they want someone perfect, someone with no flaws, someone who smiles and proudly exclaims about what she's accomplished. they want someone they can show off, a trophy daughter sitting on the shelf.

instead she ended up at a mental facility.

instead she's wound up in several murder cases.

instead she's being targeted by an anonymous foe.

(one that her best friend's best friend and her boyfriend worked alongside.)

and she's not good enough.

she just wants to feel like she's good enough.

like she's worth something, like she's worth more than melissa.

like she's better at something, anything!

they seem to ignore the good, point out the bad and it destroys her.

yet she doesn't show it, no, that would be a crime.

instead she'll act as if upenn hasn't even contacted her yet, later she'll break down, throw a fit, and act as if the words falling down, breaking all around her.

(which it is, everybody, everybody, in her family goes to upenn. she'll be the first not to go, the first to stay behind, the first not to follow in her family's footsteps, the first not to be perfect.)


A\N: Uh, this turned out to be completely out of character, while I was going for a semi-character study sort of thing? I don't really like it but I'm deciding to post it anyway. Reviews = love.