Like the summary says, just a short angsty fic. Kind of a what-if thing. It's not supposed to be terribly in-character, but I hope it's not too far off.
August 25th
It's been a while since I've written in my journal, but I'm really confused at the moment, and I figured putting it on paper might help.
I dunno. Ever since we shut down Xana, I've had this really hopeful feeling that maybe something would happen between me and Yumi…
It's been a few months. The first couple of weeks were great, we were getting along really well. But then it seemed like she was slipping away from me. She's become more and more distant, less talkative. I don't know what's going on. I can't help but think
I stop writing when the knock sounds at the door. Shutting the small green book in my hand, I slide it underneath the mattress to hide it really quickly.
"Ulrich? It's Yumi. Can I come in?"
"Of course!" I stand up quickly, and she lets herself in.
"Hi Ulrich." She closes the door and leans against it, wrapping her hands together.
"Hey Yumi, what are you doing here so late? It's almost curfew…"
"Has Odd come back from vacation yet?"
"No, he's supposed to come back in tomorrow morning. Why?"
"I just wanted to make sure…"
"Are you okay Yumi? You seem kind of… off."
"Am I okay? Not really."
"What's wrong?"
"I… I can't stand it here, Ulrich. I need to get out."
"What?" I ask, dumbfounded. I must've misheard her, or something.
"I'm leaving."
"But… but why?"
"I'm losing my mind here Ulrich. Too many painful memories, too many close encounters."
"But… but what about all the good times we've had? All the fun, all those memories?" She shakes her head sadly.
"I have nightmares every night Ulrich. Horrible, painful nightmares. I can't sleep anymore, I wake up three or four times a night in a cold sweat."
"I used to too! But it went away for me, and it'll go away for you too. Xana's gone, he can't hurt us anymore."
"It doesn't matter. I can't take it. I've already enrolled in another school, back in Japan. My family is leaving tomorrow." My mind goes absolutely blank, I sit back down on my bed hard, my hands falling limply to my sides.
"Does Jeremie know? Aelita? Odd?" I look up at her, and she nods.
"They've known for a few days now."
So I'm the last one to know…
"Yumi, I can't… I can't lose you! You can't leave. I… I need you…" I whisper. The time for bashfulness is gone. If I have any chance to keep Yumi here, I'm taking it.
"I'm sorry Ulrich."
"But what… what about us? I always thought… always hoped…" I mumble out, standing back up. She shakes her head again.
"No, Ulrich. There can't be anything between us. It… it just won't work. We don't fit together."
"… I love you, Yumi." I look into her eyes, and see nothing but pain.
"I'm so sorry Ulrich. Good bye." She takes one stride forward, hugs me tightly, and leaves.
Leaves me to my own darkness. That's all there is now, because my sun has left.
Don't turn away
I pray you've heard
The words I've spoken
Dare to believe
Over one last time
The door opens, a bright light is peeking through the window. I know the tear stained cheeks probably don't compliment my red eyes, but I really don't care.
"Ulrich?" Odd's bags hit the floor and he crouches down to be eye level with me. "You okay buddy?" I shift my gaze up towards him without moving my head, and don't say a word.
"… Yumi told you, didn't she. When? Last night? Have you been up all night?" Still, not a word leaves my mouth. Odd sighs, twists around and sits down next to me.
"Come on Ulrich. It'll be okay." I swallow once.
"You'll be fine. You'll find someone else like Yumi, maybe even someone better."
"Not helping, Odd."
"Kay, sorry."
"Why?" I ask hoarsely, my throat dry.
"Why what?"
"Why did she tell me last? Why did I get to be last to know?"
"… she told me she was scared to tell you. She didn't know how you would react." I grab my knees and pull them in close to my chest.
"She's leaving because of me."
"No way. She just needs some time away."
"It's because of me. She can't stand me."
"You're like her best friend!"
"All this time… I thought… I hoped…" Odd can't think of anything to reply, so we sit there in silence.
"Yumi is leaving soon…" Odd says after what must've been an hour. "Do you want to go say goodbye?" I just sit there silently, holding myself together with my arms in a desperate attempt to not lose it again.
"She'll be really disappointed if you don't show up."
Silence.
"Are you sure?"
Still silence.
"Okay," Odd sighs, "I'm not going to force anything on you." Odd stands up and walks out of the room. My sun had already left, and now my moon just walked out too, leaving me in the darkness yet again.
Then I'll let the
Darkness cover me
Deny everything
Slowly walk away
I hope it wasn't too bad, I just needed to vent a little bit. The lyrics in the story are from a song named Darkness by Disturbed, which is an amazing song, if you ask me.
