A/N: Taking a break from my main story (The Third Quarter Quell) for some fun. A few of my favorite Mary Sues rolled into one, competing in the Hunger Games. A gentle parody. Enjoy. R/R, please. I do not own the Hunger Games or any characters in that work, they belong to Suzanne Collins.

Chapter One – A Perfect Reaping

I woke up to a perfect sunny day, not a cloud in the sky, but I wasn't happy. Today is the day of the reaping. I stretched out in my tiny, hard, wooden bed, but I couldn't go back to sleep. I was the first one up, as usual, so I began to assemble the ingredients for breakfast. I sighed… today will be a lean day again. I wonder if I have time to go hunting with Katniss, but I know that Gale wanted to talk to her and I don' t want to get in their way. Instead, I throw what little meat we have into the pot on our cooking fire to eat after the reaping and then knead the last of our tesserae into some bread which I set to cook.

I go to wake up the rest of my family: my sisters Lorelei and Oceania and my brother Pacifico. Lorelei and Oceania are twins, both 15, and Pacifico is 11. I'm so glad he can't be reaped, it's hard enough worrying about my sisters. I don't have any parents, they both died soon after our move to District 12. I have to look after my siblings even though I'm only 17. This will be our first Games in District 12 and also our first Games without my parents. In District 4, where we're originally from, everyone enjoys the Games and doesn't worry about the reaping because the Careers would always volunteer. But here everyone's worried.

I, of course, never liked the Games even in District 4 because it seems so cruel. But after I got beat up by some Careers after school for saying so, I've kept my mouth shut. Here, everyone's too scared of the Capitol to say anything, but if it were up to me, I would tell everyone how terrible it is and start a rebellion!

After I've woken up my sisters and brother, I go to get dressed myself. I go back to the kitchen, where I sleep. Our house only 2 bedrooms, and I refused to make Pacifico sleep with the twins. They tried to make me share a room with them, but I refused. As the oldest, it's my job to take care of them and I must make some scarifices to do so.

I wear my prettiest gold dress, left over from District 4, and brush out my hair. I pause at the mirror on our wall, trying to be objective about my looks. I have long, fire-colored hair with highlights of amber, and flawless skin that still has some of District 4's tan to it. My eyes are a brilliant sea-green, which shine from within. My dress is gold and strapless, barely able to contain my surprisingly big boobs, and stops just above my knees. I'm wearing strappy gold high heels that make me seem taller than my actually height of 5'2". After fully assessing myself, I decide that this will be the best I can do. I'm not pretty like Katniss, that's for sure, but I am a bit better with a bow if I do say so myself.

Satisfied, if not pleased, with my appearance, I go once again to try to get my siblings to wake up. "But, Marina," Lorelei mumbles sleepily, rolling over, "We still have hours until the ceremony."

"I know," I reply cheerfully, "But it's better to be early than late!" Still, when they won't get out of bed, I decide to let them sleep a while longer and go down to the Hob to see if I can find more food for us. I gather up the bracelets I make in my spare time—just little gold trinkets, nothing fancy although people seem to go crazy over them.

In the Hob, Katniss is selling some squirrels and rabbits, getting a few coins for them, while I do a busy trade with my bracelets. "So, what did Gale want to say to you this morning?" I ask Katniss curiously.

"Nothing," she replies quickly. "It was so weird! It was like he wanted to say something to me but then changed his mind! I wonder what that was about?" Katniss is so dense sometimes, it's hard being friends with her, even though she's my best friend and I totally love her, sometimes she drives me crazy. "And how did you know he wanted to talk to me?" She's suddenly suspicious. I laugh, trying to cover the fact that Gale always talks to me about how much he likes Katniss, but he told me not to tell. There's this guy I really like, but I don't like to talk about it. He's a merchant's kid, and I think he likes Katniss, which is sooo annoying because she doesn't even realize! I really hope he doesn't get reaped, that would be so sad, because then he'd never know how I feel. I don't blame him for liking Katniss, though, she's really pretty and he's known her longer.

"Oh, I don't know, I just guessed!" I tinkle.

Soon we finish up at the Hob and I walk home with the carton of eggs, bacon, and cheese I bought with my bracelets. I try to give some to Katniss, but she is too proud to take any and didn't make enough money to buy anything good. I feel bad for her. Maybe if I'd gone hunting today, I could have gotten some more game and let her have it so she can feed her mom and her little sister Prim, who is totally adorable.

So anyway it's time for the Reaping and we go stand in the square. Katniss is wearing this blue dress she borrowed from her mother and her hair is in the braid she always wears. She's looks really pretty, of course, but I do wish she'd put some effort into her looks. She could be really stunning. I don't totally get why everyone loves her so much when she's such a tomboy, but of course she's my best friend.

Katniss and I stand next to each other, of course. Effie Trinket goes on and on about the Dark Days and the Hunger Games and stuff and then Haymitch shows up drunk and falls off the stage which is super duper embarrassing. Our Victors in District 4 were never like this. If I had any say in it, I'd make Haymitch sober up before helps anymore District 12 kids.

Effie draws her hand into the Reaping Ball and I'm really afraid she's going to call my name, but instead she calls, "Prim Everdeen!" Oh no! It hadn't even crossed my mind that Katniss's sister would be reaped! I see Katniss draw a breath to volunteer, and in that instant I realize what I have to do. I can win these games, I know I can! I have the training from District 4! Katniss wouldn't stand a chance!

"I volunteer! I volunteer to be tribute!" I yell loudly, running forward before Prim has even gotten to the stage.

"Oh, a volunteer!" Effie exclaims happily. "And what's your name?"

"Marina Sigourney Otamisia," I reply bravely.

"What a pretty name!" Effie replies admiringly. "And such a pretty dress, too!" I can tell she's happy to finally get a District 12 tribute who's worth something.

Next she draws the name for the boy tribute. I hold my breath.

"Peeta Mellark!"

Oh no! That's the merchant boy I have a crush on who likes Katniss!

After the ceremony, I am taken to the Justice Building to say goodbye to my friends and family.

First my sisters and brothers come in.

"Oh no, Marina, how can we survive without you?" they ask frightenedly.

"Don't worry," I say soothingly, "I promise I'll be back and then we can live in a big house in Victors' Village." In the back of my head I wonder whether I can do this if it means killing Peeta, but I will worry about that later. Relieved, my siblings go out the door.

Katniss comes in. She's crying. "Thank you so much, Marina, for saving Prim like that! You're the best friend I could ever have had!"

"It's okay, Kat, I was training in District 4, so I know what I'm doing!"

"Wow, I never knew that, it explains a lot!"

"Well, make sure you take care of my sisters and brothers while I'm gone."

"I'll try, but I hope I can shoot enough food for them without you around."

"I know you can," I say reassuringly. "And if not, there's a stash of the bracelets under my mattress and you can sell those if you need to. People really seem to like them."

"Of course they do, Marina, they're so pretty! Speaking of which, I took one and altered it for you to use as your token." She holds out one of my gold bracelets which now has a clumsily-made image of a mockingjay on it.

"Thanks, Kat."

She goes out the door and the Peacekeepers follow to take me to the train. On the way, we're joined by Peeta. He looks worried. I smile at him reassuringly and he smiles back at me and I think maybe this won't be so bad after all.

A/N: Ha, how'd y'all like the character assassination of Katniss? I had fun writing this, although sometimes I have to admit that it was a little too easy. I took a lot of Marina's character from 50 Shades of Grey and Twilight, as well as general fanfic (and HG-specific) Mary Sues. Not sure if this will be a one-shot or a full Games, please let me know if you'd like me to continue. If you see any errors, continuity, canon, or otherwise, assume it was on purpose (that's what I'll claim, anyway).