Hey people! It's me again, I really wanna thank u for the great reviews! I hope u like this one as much.
A quick little note, Cruz was 28 in 'Don't Let Me Go.' And also, there's a good chance this is A/U.
Whenever it's Italics, it's a thought since the little squiggly things don't show up.
Letting Go
Chapter 1
"Kaylee!" Cruz shouted.
Kaylee opened one eye and groaned. "Dammit." she muttered. She glanced at the clock next to her bed and smacked herself on the head. She heard her mother coming down the hall.
"Kaylee." Cruz said sternly.
She looked up and smiled innocently. "Hi."
"Do you know what time it is?"
Kaylee nodded sheepishly. It was 8:34am. She had to be in school by 8:45 and she had to take a shower and 2 buses.
"This is the second time this week..."
Kaylee opened her mouth to say something.
"...and it's Tuesday." Cruz finished. She couldn't help but smile thinking that she did the same thing when she was 13.
Kaylee jumped out of her bed and ran into the bathroom to take a shower. Cruz walked over to the bed and sat down on it, looking around the room.
She saw pictures of her and Kaylee, Kaylee with her best friend Sammie. There was a picture of Kaylee with Yokas's daughter, Emily who was her baby sitter for 3 years. Cruz saw posters, stuffed animals and candy. Cruz thought about her little girl, who wasn't that little anymore. It's been 5 ½ years since Cruz officially adopted Kaylee. July 16, 2004. Cruz glanced at the calendar on the wall. It was January 2010. Cruz and Kaylee moved to a 2 bedroom apartment two months after Cruz adopted her. Now that Kaylee was 13, Cruz was back to working the Third Watch. Cruz glanced at the clock, standing up. It was already 8:40. Damn, I'm gonna haveta give Kaylee a ride again. She walked into the bathroom.
"Kay, I'm gonna give you a ride, okay?"
"Yeah."
"Are you going to Sammie's today?"
Silence.
"Kaylee?"
"No. I'm gonna come home. Are you gonna be here?"
"I'm gonna be at the precinct. Come by, everyone misses you."
Kaylee smiled. "Sure."
"What you wanna do for dinner?"
"I don't care."
We have great dinners. We've lived on pizza, diners, McDonalds, Wendy's. I can't believe either of us ain't fat. "Hurry up. It's 8:45." Cruz walked out the door.
Cruz thought about how she treated her daughter. They were best friends most of the times. They went to the movies, they went shopping together, something Kaylee's told her none of her few friends and there mothers do. They have almost the same taste in clothing and stores. Cruz never layed a hand on Kaylee. Usually they didn't fight but when they did, Cruz was never bitchy. She left that to Kaylee. Of course someone who was as bitchy as she was has to let it out somehow. She's bitchy to some uniforms. Cruz went into the kitchen.
10 minutes later Kaylee came out of the bathroom in a towel and walked down the hall to the kitchen. "Hey Mom."
Cruz turned. "Kay, it's 8:55."
"I know, but if I'm gonna be late, I might as well be later than just 10 minutes." Kaylee explained.
That makes sense to me, but not to a good mother.
"I know that makes sense to you Mom." Kaylee teased.
Cruz sighed. "We're leaving at 9:10." and there's no way in hell I'm gonna get back to sleep today, she finished in her mind.
"Uh, Mom? Your not going out like that, right?"
Cruz was dressed in blue pajama pants with ducks on them, and a huge GAP sweatshirt. "You want me to wear a midriff and a mini skirt? I'm 33, I could get away with it."
Kaylee gave her a look. "Ma!" she whined. "Tell me you're kidding!"
Cruz gave her a mischievous look and winked. "We'll see." and she walked down the hall.
"It's January in New York!" Kaylee shouted and followed her mother. Instead of going all the way down to her mother's room, she went into her room. Looking at her closet she tried to figure out what to wear.
Cruz came up behind her. "Army pants and.." she glanced around the room at the clothes on the floor. "...Old Navy sweatshirt."
Kaylee considered this. Cruz watched the seriousness on her face.
"You're really a teenager aren't you? Listen to me, it's better to be different. I always was."
"And that's why you're a cop now." Kaylee snapped.
"Excuse me, but I'm a Sergeant." Cruz turned around and walked out.
Kaylee immediately felt guilty. She turned and went into her mother's room.
"Mommy?" she asked quietly.
Cruz looked back at her thru the mirror. "You ready?" She asked, slightly irritated.
"Almost." she said quietly and walked back to her room. She got ready in 3 minutes and walked back to Cruz's room.
"I'm ready." She announced, still somewhat quietly.
Cruz turned around and smiled. "New record." She teased. She looked at herself in the mirror. "Is this okay?" she asked, motioning to what she was wearing. She had on a pair of tight black flared jeans and a black long sleeve shirt tucked into the jeans, flattering her flat stomach.
Kaylee nodded and smiled. "Thanks." Kaylee had on tight blue flares, Nike's and a blue long sleeve shirt that said I'm the Latina your mother warned you about. Cruz looked at her daughter's outfit.
"I love that shirt." Cruz walked over to her daughter and put her arm around her shoulder, together they walked out of the room.
Kaylee stopped short.
"You have a test today, don't you?"
Kaylee nodded completely dazed. "Shit!" She cried. "How could I forget?" She started to pace the hallway.
Cruz was tempted to laugh, but she knew how much her daughter cared about her grades. Kaylee never got lower than a B.
"What subject?"
Kaylee paused. "Math." She made a face.
Cruz shrugged. "Sorry, me and math, we don't get along."
"Yeah I know." Dammit. How could I forget?
"When do you have math?"
"Um... 5th period."
Cruz looked confused. "What time?"
"Oh, um quarter to 12, why?"
"Will you be able to take a make up?"
"Why would I have to take a make up?"
"In case you don't go to school today." Cruz said slyly.
"Why wouldn..." Kaylee trailed off, looking at Cruz. "You'd keep me home so I could study!?"Kaylee squealed.
Cruz nodded. "I know how much your grades mean to you, and even though I don't know why, I get it. And I don't want you to mess up you're A- average just from one annoying test."
Kaylee smiled. "Thank you Mom."
"No problem baby." Cruz checked the clock. 9:08. "I gotta be to work at 3."
"Yeah, I know."
"Let's go in now, so you can say hi to everyone, then you go back home and study."
"I'll just go in with you at 2:30 and take the bus home."
Cruz agreed. "Arite."
Kaylee turned down the hall and went into her room, closing the door.
I wonder if she's gonna call people and not study. There's definately something wrong with me. I let my kid stay home so she could study for a test. I guess I ain't a normal mother. Cruz walked into the living room, looking around. She saw a ton of pictures of Kaylee, her and Kaylee, and that one of Lettie and her when they went skiing. I can't believe my little girl's 13 already. She sat down on the couch, something nagging in her mind. She still hadn't talked to her about the rape. Either of them. She's always thought Kaylee was too young, but Cruz finally realized Kaylee was 13 and probably able to handle it. She sighed, not knowing how to bring it up. How do you bring up something that happened so long ago? And something so... She searched her brain for a word. sensitive.
Cruz hadn't had a boyfriend since she adopted Kaylee. Sure, she's gone out on dates, but nothing ever serious. All she wanted to do was concentrate on Kaylee and her job.
Kaylee sat on her bed, holding a teddy bear. She thought of how she was raised. She doesn't remember much of her real mother, only that she hurt her. She hurt her a lot. She thought of Cruz, and how she was brought up by her. When Kaylee first lived with Cruz, Cruz was unsure of how to do everything, but now, she's a pro. She even scares Kaylee. Whoever said my mama should never have kids, was severely disturbed. Kaylee looked around her room and saw a TV, VCR and computer. Smiling, she thought about when they hooked the computer up. Cruz being Cruz, she didn't bother to read the instruction manual, and neither did Kaylee. They were both extremely stubborn. Kaylee thought about Christmas and her birthday. Cruz always gave her plenty of presents, and she followed the lists. Cruz never lay a hand on her, well, that's not true. She hugged her all the time. But she never hit her. I've been really lucky. Thank you for letting me live with the best mother on Earth. She opened her math textbook and her notebook and went to work.
Cruz sat back on the couch, thinking about everything. From the first time she met Kaylee, til now. She thought about how good everyone was in the beginning. Sasha baby sat Kaylee, until she got the nerve up to call Emily Yokas. Emily turned out to be perfect for Kaylee . They got along well and Kaylee always listened to Em. When Kaylee turned 12, Cruz went back to working the Third Watch, and since Em was 21, she was able to watch Kaylee until she got home at night. Cruz thought about Kaylee's social life. She didn't really have many friends, except for Sammie Ramierez, and one or two other girls, that Kaylee hung out with. Cruz got along well with Kaylee's friends and they seemed to like her back. Sometimes Yokas would give Cruz mother advice, and sometimes Cruz would follow it. Sometimes, Yokas would share funny stories about Emily and Charlie and they got a good laugh. They weren't enemies anymore, but they weren't exactly what you would call friends either. Or at least not friends that would admit they were friends. Like Kaylee, Cruz was lacking in the friends department. She sometimes went out with Sasha, or Sasha came over and watched a movie with Cruz and Kaylee, but that was it.
Before she worked herself into depression, Cruz got up and went to check on Kaylee. She opened the door and saw her daughter lying on her bed, books open all around her, taking notes.
Kaylee looked up. "I'm studying", she told Cruz.
"I can see that." Cruz replied. "What are you learning?"
"Logic." Seeing her mother's face, she said, "It's really interesting., I'll explain it to you if ya want."
Cruz shook her head. "I'm sure you're a great teacher, but I have work to do."
Kaylee smiled. "You really hate math, don't you?"
Cruz nodded. "The only reason I passed in school, was 'cause my teachers didn't wanna have me again. So, thanks to them, I know nothing." She glanced at Kaylee, smiled and closed the door behind her. Cruz wandered around the apartment, going into her bedroom and changing back into her pajamas. Looking for something to do, she wandered her way back into the living room and grabbed a book, settling down with it on the couch.
A while later, Kaylee came out of her room. She plopped herself down on the couch and startled Cruz who looked up.
"Whatcha readin?"
Cruz turned over the cover of the book so Kaylee could read it.
"Burnt Offerings." Kaylee read off the cover. "What's that about?"
"It's a horror book. You wouldn't like it."
Kaylee made a face. "How do you know?" She tossed her head, making her long brown hair gently slap her mom in the face.
" 'cause you don't like horror books." Cruz replied matter of factly.
"People change." Kaylee said simply.
"People, but not you." Cruz closed the book. "You got scared from Wizard of Oz when the monkeys came out."
"I was 8." Kaylee defended herself.
"You hungry?" Cruz wanted to change the subject before Kaylee got too sensitive.
"Uh, Mom. It's almost 11."
"So? You can't eat after11?"
Kaylee sighed the famous teenager sigh. "Never mind." She reached for a spare pony tail holder on the coffee table and began to separate her hair into 3 sections to be braided.
Cruz watched with interest. "How do you braid that?"
"Like this." Within 4 minutes Kaylee was done braiding her unbelievably long head of hair.
"You should really cut it."
"Why? What would be the point of that? It's finally down to my butt."
Cruz shook her head and stretched. "Wanna call Sasha and see if she wants to go out to breakfast with us?"
"Sure." Kaylee reached for the phone and began to dial the number.
1 ring. 2 rings. 3 rings.
"Hello?" Sasha asked.
"Hey! It's me." Kaylee replied.
"What are you- aren't you supposed to be in school?" Sasha nagged.
"Yeah, but I have a math test I didn't study for so Mom let me stay home and study for it. Anyways, you wanna come out to breakfast with us?"
"Where you going?"
"I don't know."
"Ask your mom."
"You think she knows?" Kaylee smirked.
Sasha laughed. "True. I'll be over in 10." She hung up.
Kaylee hung up. "She'll be here in 10."
Cruz nodded. "You think I can take a shower in that time?"
Kaylee snorted. "No."
Cruz threw a pillow at Kaylee, playfully.
"Hey!" Kaylee protested. "You messed up my hair!"
Cruz smiled and got up from the couch. "I'm taking a shower. If I'm not out when she gets here..."
"Leave without you?" Kaylee finished.
"No. Wait for me." She walked down the hall to the bathroom and closed the door.
Intrigued by her mother saying she doesn't like horror books, Kaylee picked up Burnt Offerings. She began to read and was 20 pages into it when she heard the buzzer. She looked up and book in hand walked over to the intercom.
"Yeah?" she said, distracted by the book.
"It's me." Sasha told her.
Kaylee hit the enter button and settled herself back on the couch.
2 minutes later, she heard a knock. Grumbling to herself, she got up, book in hand and opened the door.
"Hey." Sasha greeted.
"Hi." She said not looking at Sasha.
Sasha came in and closed the door behind her. Kaylee went back to the couch. "Where's your mom?"
"Shower."
A couple of minutes later, Cruz opened the door and came down the hall, watching Kaylee and Sasha. She walked up slowly and shouted, "Hi!", scaring Kaylee and making Sasha laugh.
Kaylee put the book down.
"You like it?" Cruz asked.
Kaylee nodded. "I'm only 30 pages into it, but yeah so far."
"Let's go."
"Uh, Cruz." Sasha looked at Cruz. "Ain't your hair a little wet to be going out in 24 degree weather?"
"What are you, my mother?" Cruz asked, sarcastically. Damn her sometimes, I got my own kid to take care of, I don't need someone tellin me what to do!
Sasha sighed and stood. "Fine, don't blame me if you get pneumonia." She muttered.
Kaylee couldn't help but grin. No one tells my mama what to do, She thought proudly.
All 3 of them went to the door.
"Kay, you have your keys?"
Kaylee nodded and showed them to her. "Why? Where's yours?"
Cruz shook her little purse thing and the keys made a jingling noise. "I don't feel like getting them out."
Sasha sighed again.
Kaylee locked the door and they were on there way.
TBC
Okay, people. I'm sorry that was boring, but I had to get the ppl reintroduced and all that crap. Newayz, the next chapter will be more interesting, I promise!!! and since Cruz is so human in this one, who knows? She may have let her daughter stay home to study. I know it's not realistic, but I needed it for the story.
