Yay, I finished it! Don't worry, you don't have to care who I am or why I wrote this. You just have to read it (and technically you don't have to do that either). I don't own Harry Potter or any of his related characters/stories/merchandising rights (actually I do own all the Harry Potter books and a Harry Potter calender I got half price at Whitcoulles!)

AUTHOR'S NOTES: if this story seems pointless and confusing.well, sorry, but it probably is. I just got the idea when I was listening to someone talk on the radio about how guys give each other stupid nicknames. Too true. Well.wizards are guys too, aren't they? So I'm sure they all had some ridiculous names in their time. Here's a few suggestions. Also, I realise Sirius and James talk in very modern slang which they probably wouldn't have used back then. Never mind, eh? Real Life Disclaimer: OK, I didn't actually make these names up. Some of them are names guys in my class give to other guys in my class. One I heard from the radio deejay. A couple are just random. So sorry to the guys in the class, I stole your names. Sorry random radio guys, I stole your names. Sorry reader, you had to listen to me babble. On to the story.

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The tall woman kissed each of her daughters and patted the boy beside them on the head. "Have a wonderful year, Narcissa, my big Head Girl," she smiled at the oldest, and the blonde girl with the sour expression nodded curtly.

"Andromeda, dear, do be careful," she said to the second girl, who smiled broadly and hugged her mother.

"Bellatrix, sweetie, look after your little cousin," the woman said to the third girl, heavy-lidded and with a mass of dark shining hair. Bellatrix, too, gave a smile, but as she turned to pick up her trunk she glared at the dark-haired boy beside her, who grinned innocently. Bellatrix was unlikely to speak to him the whole year; if someone was expected to keep an eye on him, Andromeda could do it. She always did.

Their mother had turned to her nephew now and sighed, "Sirius, I do wish you'd stay out of trouble. Set a better example for your little brother Regulus - he'll be joining you next year and I don't want to hear any more horror stories from your mother. She's losing hope for you."

"Of course not, I promise this year I'll behave myself," he said. It was a downright lie, of course. Sirius' third year at Hogwarts was bound to be worse even then the first two, especially since the old caretaker, Pringle, had just retired.

"Well, good luck, all of you," the woman beamed and trotted off, the house- elf which had carried their luggage scurrying meekly at her heels.

The four pure-bloods picked up their bags and turned towards the scarlet train puffing steam into the air around them. Groups of Hogwarts students huddled at odd places along the platform, parents tearfully hugging their children goodbye, porters running up and down with their arms full of suitcases. The two older girls trotted off to find their friends, Andromeda waving Sirius goodbye as they left. The boy had already spotted one of his mates, leaning against the door to one of the trains. He hurried over, hoisting his pack onto his shoulders.

Bellatrix wanted only to get onto the train, knowing her companions would be there already. She headed in the same direction as her cousin, but found the door to the train blocked by a contemptuous third-year with glasses whom her cousin had rushed up to greet. She waited impatiently a few feet back for him to move.

"Hey James," Sirius was saying, "yo, Jaz-Meister!" "Dude, it's Damned-Sid!" the black-haired boy replied, and they gave each other a complicated handshake full of superfluous gestures. Bellatrix raised her eyebrow at the nicknames and cleared her throat, "dam- nid-sid?" she asked them.

James gave her a grin and turned his head to one side, "its short for Siddy- P-Munny-Diddy-Damn." Sirius chuckled, "Jamie, this is my cousin Bellatrix. Trixie, this is James Potter, the Jaz-Meister." James grinned again but did not offer his hand, "nice to meet you." "Don't call me Trixie."

A small, slightly chubby boy poked his head out of the doorway Bellatrix wanted access to. "Oh, and Trixie, this is Peter 'Danger' Pettigrew," Sirius laughed. The pale boy frowned at the sight of his friend's gothic cousin, and went paler. Sirius turned back to James, "Where's Muzz gone to?" But Bellatrix was not done questioning, "and who is Muzz?" "Oh, we also call him Chad," James added helpfully. "You know, Muzz," at Bellatrix's blank expression Sirius continued, "my main man, Re-MUZZ .J. Lupinator ."

James laughed heartily and happened to move out of the doorway. Bellatrix stuck up her nose at the two boys, pushed past Peter and entered the train. "Boys are ridiculous," she decided, "I don't know why they need to prove their stupidity in their choice of names." Behind her two boys could be heard roaring with laughter.

---[]--- well, that's about it. Thanks for reading, I totally appreciate this! Really! But actually, come to think of it, I'd appreciate it more if you reviewed. Please? Pwetty Please?