This was originally called As long as you are here…But I changed the title! Hope you like. Unlike the other oneshot I uploaded this one is not soft core. It is M for violence and Hayner abuse…I cried writing this…TTxTT
Read on brave soul
UNTIL DEATH DO US PART
He never liked me I don't think. All he cares about is if I'm in pain. He looks at me with such loathing that I'm sure he wants to just punch me in the face. But what can I say I don't mind. As long as he is here.
He yells at me to get angry to stop him but I can't. I know I can't because if I show resistance he might leave me and find another who won't resist him. Besides I see how happy he is when I am in pain. So as long as he is here I will never resist him no matter what he ask of me.
I've seen him hurt himself before. It was the scariest thing I had ever seen. I remember running to him and yelling at him. It wasn't angry yelling more like concerned for his health. He beat me so bad that night I couldn't make it to school. But I didn't care. He asked why I let him and I simply replied 'To keep you here. As long as you are here you can do as you please.'
I can't tell the other's what is going on. I'm sure they can guess. I mean Roxas is a sharp one as is Pence and Olette. But what can I do. If I tell them they will have him taken away from me. I can't exist without him. He is my other half. He is the reason I live and I am the reason he lives. I live for his pain and he lives to give his pain to me.
As long as he is here. I tell myself that every night. When he told me that he wanted me to move in with him. Well he more of brought me over to his house and said I was not allowed to go home I was to stay with him. I really didn't mind being around him all that extra time. Truth be told I believe this is the closest I will get to heaven.
As long as he is here I don't mind if I die as long as he is alive. I have given him my humanity. I am content to sit there behind a mask and hid away. I show no one my tears but him. I show no one who I really am only him. For there is nothing to show but pain there is no happiness but my pain is his happiness and his happiness is my happiness.
My world revolves around him. Day in and day out it is always what he wants. What ever he ask of me I do except one. I will never deny him his pleasure even if he tells me to for I am too weak to stand alone and he tells me this every time he raises a hand to me but I don't mind. As long as he is here.
And tonight as he storms in the room and shouts at me I am fine. I had been sitting on the bed as still and fragile as a glass doll. I turn slowly to him and greet him with a customary smile. I'm glad he came back to me. If he hadn't I'm sure eventually someone would have come looking for me and there I would have been in the same place I am now.
Well in the same place I had been. I am on the floor now. Oh dear he didn't have a good day. I can tell as he kicks me in the ribs. But I don't know what to do to make it better so I do what I always do. I allow him to take out his frustrations on someone other than himself. So don't worry no matter how many times you knock me down I will always get up for you.
Hmm…It seems he hit me too hard. I can feel the blood dripping down my face from my temple. He grabs my wrist and his nails dig into the soft already scarred flesh there. If he keeps this up I will not be able to move tomorrow. But he will stay with me right? I hope he will but he doesn't have too. Please just come home if you go out.
I am still trying to figure out when the tears stopped falling from my eyes. They haven't fallen for quite some time. Maybe I have forgotten because I am to stupid to remember. Yes I know you love to call me stupid. I've come to think of it as your pet name for me….I hope you don't mind.
As long as you are here I will smile as you beat me please don't stop until you are ready. If you wear yourself out don't worry. I will bring you a blanket and pillow. You don't like it when I snuggle against you so I will just sit with my back against the bed and watch you sleep. You look so adorable when you are sleeping.
But something is wrong this time. You don't stop hitting me. You tell me you won't stop till I tell you to. But you have to grow tired sometime…right? How long as it been? Five ten minutes? Oh don't worry I won't say a word just continue. And in the morning I will make you your favorite breakfast. It is all to keep you here.
I think you should be tired now. I am a little short of breath could you take a break maybe? My head is swimming a little now and I feel nauseous. Ohhh…I don't feel good at all. This is not like before maybe I should ask you…but know. I haven't denied you in the last what five years since we were in school together. But you are out of school now and I quit to be with you because you asked.
The world is growing dark. I sigh in relief. I am used to this. I will just be out for a little bit so don't worry. You can keep going. My eyes flutter as I try to keep them open but I can't. My breathing turns shallow and the world grows dark. Don't worry I'll only be gone for a little while…Just a little while….
I see some unidentified silhouettes, with designations I can't seem to recollect. Then precipitously my legs refuse to carry me any longer and my limbs all seem to give out on me. The floor is arctic compared to my flushed skin.
I huff and puff. It does no good. My lungs feel like they're going to explode, like they're being slowly ripped apart. But I can't fight it. I don't know how. I don't know why. I can't fight anything you give me you are like my master and I will always be your slave no matter what. Then there is a crack that is so loud it rattles in my head…or was it only in my head?
Please let this stop.
"What are you going on about!" You yell at me. I shudder something inside me has broken. Well broken more then it had been. I swear I heard it crack what is this feeling…
I don't think I can handle this anymore….
"I asked you a question! What were you whispering about?!" You yell so loudly I am forced to wonder why no one hears. Oh yeah this place is sound proof.
No reaction. I give you no reaction to let you know if I heard you. Till this day I don't know if I did or not… I don't even know. I didn't say anything.
"Sei-Seifer…" I hear myself whisper. The sound is so soft I'm not sure if you can here it. Can you hear it? "You're…"
"What?! I'm what?!" You bark at me. You could hear it that's good…I believe. But you might not like what I have to say….
"You're hurting me!" MY GOD! What am I saying? Please don't be angry I don't mean a word of it just continue what you are doing. I didn't mean to make things worse. A lot worse.
I can hear you clench your fist as you prepare to hit me and I open my eyes again, to see the mirror flying toward me. Or am I flying toward the mirror? I don't know, but I quickly close my eyes again but not quick enough. I hear someone scream out in agony who is that person? My face crashes into the mirror and glass cuts every inch of my face. See I made things worse and I can't help but wonder…will this keep you here?
My shoulders tremble and I'm too afraid to open my eyes, but I feel the tears escaping. But then again it hurts to much to even try to open them. And I can't help but wonder how long has this mirror been here? I don't remember you bringing it home.
You're really hurting me, Seifer. Please stop. Oh, god, please stop. I can't take much more of this. I know I will pass out from the pain soon.
Why isn't my love good enough for you? Why do you hate me so much? Or have I been going about this all wrong? Is this all happening because you do love me? If this is your love then please shower me in it I won't mind. As long as you are here.
I hear the sound of glass shattering, falling onto the ground. I hear the sound of your screams, but I don't know what you're saying. Please tell me you haven't hurt yourself. If you have give me a second and I will go get you the first aid kit. My eyes won't seem to open but I will find it. I know how to get around here without looking thanks to all the times my eyes were swollen shut after you hit me in them.
You jerk my head back, then kick me until I fall onto the ground. Well actually I more like crash more into the mirror. I slowly open my eyes, try to blink the blood out of my eyes, but it doesn't work. My eyes barely open and as I look at my face in the mirror it seems as if I am crying tears of blood. The wine drops flow down my face and I tremble. Please I just need you here.
My face feels numb and other than that constant pain stabbing through my head, I can't feel anything. I don't want to look. I don't want to see how unrecognizable my face is. I don't want to see the blood, the cuts. I don't want to see the hurt in your eyes. Please…yes just bash my head into the mirror again and again.
Grant me this one wish if you never do another thing for me all I ask is that you just let me die already.
I don't want to lie anymore. I don't want to hide anymore. I have done it for so long that it feels strange to say it but I have to please don't be angry.
I feel your knife stabbing into my arms. But then again it might just be a piece of mirror. Please be careful those edges might be sharp I don't want you to hurt yourself!
"You're just so stupid." I smile sweetly at you.
Of course I am. I could have told you that. My friends could have told you that. Who else would allow their lover to do the things you do to me to them? I mean just look at me I can't even see right now…I can't see!!
"Don't you know that I love you?!" I can't see! I can't see, I can't see, I CAN'T SEE! I'M BLIND…!!!
And I just wish that you would stop stabbing me when you tell me you love me. You're ruining it, the meaning of that precious word. How are people supposed to believe you when you keep stabbing them? Just how am I supposed to still trust you?
I love you, but this time, love can't take it. There isn't enough love in the world. I'm sorry but I seem to have run out of it over the years. Love can only heal so much.
"I love you, Hayner!"
My face hits the ground again. I can't see a thing through the darkness that seems to be around me now. But I know the lights are one. My god I can't see…I don't want to die. I just don't want to die.
"Seifer, please!" I try to yell, but it's just a whisper that leaves my lips. No it is more of a whimper of a broken toy or lost child.
Why do you want me dead so badly? Did I hurt you then? Did I do something wrong? Is this all my fault, or is this world just cruel? What ever I did to you I will apologize a million times over just don't kill me please I don't want to die…but…
You pull me up again, then press your lips on mine, hard and cold. I feel my stomach turning, feel the disgust. The pain flashes through my body and I can't stand on my own. I am sure I'm looking at you but I can't tell. There is a brief intermission when I'm sure you study me.
"You can't see me can you?" I softly shake my head. Then I hear your footsteps as you run. I slide to the ground and my head lolls against the broken mirror and I lay there staring blankly like a doll. I have finally become the broken doll that I showed people but I will wait for you to come play again…
Because only death can part us… and I want to stay with you.
Just stay here I'll be okay after a little rest because I love you Seifer Almassy.
Until death do us part, Seifer.
FHFHFHFHFHFHFHFHHFHFHFH
Well you like? Hope so. Go read the other. It's called Perfect lover. And should I make a one shot about what happened to Seifer? Reviews are your voice!
