"I call Batman!" A brown mop of hair yelled mid chew through popcorn as he raced toward the big TV in the living room.

"You got to be Batman last time!" his blonde mother sulked as she juggled with a bowl brimming full of popcorn, bags of nacho chips, jars of dips and sodas all of which were threatening to fall out of her arms and onto the mayor's pristine kitchen floor. She winced as she tucked her chin down to stop a jar of dip from rolling away and smashing. The brunette woman would murder her in all kinds of unimaginable ways if she got salsa on this white floor, even if she cleaned it with bleach she would still know, the woman was like a hawk. A big scary attractive hawk. Emma huffed as she gingerly made her way to join Henry who beamed at her. "You could help you know!"

"Hey, someone had to set up the game right?" He grabbed another handful of popcorn before she'd even set it down.

"You know if we make a mess she will kill me." Emma warned.

Henry shrugged it off "I know!"

His mother scowled at him as she set down the rest of the snacks "And you don't care because…?"

He tossed her a controller as she slumped on the floor next to him "Because I'm not the one who'll be in trouble!" He laughed gleefully as Emma began to poke and tickle him.

She sat back up and opened the nachos and dip scooping a far too large amount of both into her mouth, sauce oozing out of the corners. "Yeah but if I die, no one would feed you like I do! You'd be living off…I dunno apples or something!"

Henry rolled his eyes at his mom before looking pointedly at her "Come on! Pick your character!"

She sighed as she sucked the dip and crumbs from her fingers before picking up the controller and perusing the characters available. "Hmm…Wonder Woman is pretty badass…ooh but Scarecrow looks awesome…ooh Poison Ivy!"

Henry opened his soda with a satisfying hiss and took a gulp. "Come on! She'll be home by the time you choose someone!"

"All right, all right kid! Ugh why don't they have Batgirl?"

Henry turned to frown at her "Batgirl Mom? Really?"

Emma shrugged "What? I always thought she was really cool!" She watched her son purse his lips and hold up his head in thought with a scrunched-up nose. He looks like Regina when he does that.That's the same face she pulls when she's engrossed in work and doesn't know anyone is watching.

"I mean…she is part of the Bat family I guess."

"Part of the B-" Emma put down the controller much to the annoyance of her son and swivelled round on the floor to face him. "Okay Batgirl is awesome, and I'm talking Barbara Gordon here, she's the daughter of the infamous Jim Gordon who is badass in his own right. She fought crime with Batman and Robin and then the Joker came to visit her." Henry's eyes widened as he shovelled more popcorn into his mouth, missing as he didn't take his eyes off Emma. "He showed up at her door in a tourist outfit with a camera, baseball cap and Hawaiian shirt…and just shot her. Right there. BANG!" The kid jumped and the handful of popcorn went everywhere. "That's how she became Oracle, coz he shot her in the spine!"

Henry sat with his mouth wide open as he took in the story. "Whoa…" he whispered finally.

"Yeah…" Emma drifted off for a moment in a dark thought "she was always my favourite."

"Well we don't have her on this one so you gotta pick someone else! Come on!"

A nudge to her midsection by a prepubescent elbow jolted her out of her thoughts and she squinted at the screen. "All right…ooh he looks badass who's he? Atrocitus? Cool!"

Henry rolled his eyes "Just because he's big doesn't mean he's better you know."

That's what she said.

She sniggered into her soda at her own internal joke only to sigh.

Ruby would have laughed at that.

She smirked.

Regina would have reprimanded her for being so crude…and then smirked when her back was turned so she wouldn't let me see it, but I would still know.

She settled back against the sofa behind her as the fight loaded, put down her soda and flexed her fingers ready for battle.


Regina tapped her fingers against her phone and huffed irritably.

Pick up the damned phone Miss Swan!

She was about to get cut off by the answering machine when a breathless panting answered the phone. "Hello?"

"Oh, hey Gina!"

Regina scowled into the phone, the blonde did that to intentionally wind her up she knew she hated it when people shortened her name.

"Oh! Come on!"

Regina's heart lifted when she heard a familiar gleeful cackle in the distance behind the panting Sherriff.

"That does not count! I'm on the phone to your mom!"

She heard some scuffling and then a younger breathless voice appeared.

"Hi Mom!"

She couldn't stop the gleaming smile that spread across her face "Hello Henry, I trust you are having fun?"

He giggled "Yeah I'm totally kicking her as-" he coughed "Her butt!"

Regina pursed her lips at the almost curse word and reminded herself to have a chat with a certain blonde when she got home. "Very good dear, I'm running a little later than planned so Miss Swan will have to put you to bed but I will come and give you a goodnight kiss when I get in all right?"

She could almost hear the eye roll and she smiled though it tugged at her heart that her little prince was growing up so fast.

"Yes Mom…" came the standard teenage-like whine.

"All right well-" she was silenced by a loud yelling in her ear.

"No way! That was totally cheating!"

She could hear the blonde feigning innocence in the background, even from the other end of the phone she could tell she was lying.

"Gotta go Mom she's cheating!"

"Henry, have you eaten swee-" she closed her eyes at the sudden silence. He had hung up. She sighed heavily as she took in the paperwork still stacked on her desk. Sometimes she wondered if it was all worth it, she'd much rather be at home with her son, watching him play video games or a movie as she sipped a glass of apple cider or wine and ran her fingers through his soft hair. As she got lost in the daydream she realised a certain blonde was also there, sat next to Henry, yelling at the TV screen until Regina poked her with her foot to be quiet. The two of them sharing secret smiles behind Henry every time he said something adorable. She shook her head and snapped out of it. Since when did Miss Swan become a staple feature in her daydreams? She glanced up at the ever-racing clock and grabbed the next file to sift through.


"Hey mom?" Henry looked up at the blonde mass of hair as she tucked him in before she stood awkwardly unsure of what to do.

"Yeah kid?" She shoved her hands into her tight jeans pockets and rocked back on her heels feeling suddenly shy.

"Can I borrow your phone for a second?"

She frowned but held it out anyway. After a few taps he held it out to her.

"Say Oracle."

"What?" the phone pinged and Henry rolled his eyes and took the phone back.

"When I nod, just say Oracle okay?"

"Okay." She shrugged.

He held out the phone and nodded.

"Oracle." There was a ping and he nodded again. "Oracle." She frowned at him only to get a megawatt smile back before it pinged and he nodded again. "Oracle." The word didn't even sound real anymore but he nodded again and she dutifully obeyed. "Oracle."

He took back the phone and tapped a few more times before handing it back to her with a triumphant grin.

She looked down at the locked phone and frowned.

"Now say it again!"

"Oracle?" She gaped as the phone sprang into action and waited for her command. "No way!"

Henry beamed at her "Now you can be like Batman and have your own Oracle!" He chuckled at her happy face, "Plus if I put you in my phone as Oracle and say call Oracle it will call you so you can be my Batgirl!"

Her heart swelled and she bent down to gather him up in a tight hug.

"Ow Moooom you're hurting me!"

She hurriedly blinked away the tears and grinned at him "Sorry kid…um…thanks that's really cool."

He yawned and she went over to flick off the light. "You're welcome." He replied sleepily.


By the time Regina got home it was silent. She opened the front door carefully and went to hang up her coat when she spotted something on the floor and sucked her teeth. She stepped over it fully intending on getting the no doubt blonde offender to clean up her own mess for once when she spotted said offender. She was curled up on the floor, fast asleep with the credits for a movie scrolling on the TV. Regina paused and watched her breathe gently for a couple of moments before shaking her head and going to pour a glass of apple cider.

"Miss Swan?"

The gentle dulcet tones of Regina roused her from sleep and she opened her eyes slowly to be greeted by the stunning brunette herself staring down at her. "R'gina?" she asked sleepily.

She rolled her eyes "No Miss Swan it's Angelina Jolie, what do you think?"

"I think you're hotter than Angelina Jolie." She muttered absent-mindedly before stretching into a yawn and missing the flush of red that coloured the older woman's cheeks momentarily.

She settled herself on the couch and eyed the clean room suspiciously "Pray tell, why are you asleep on my floor?"

Emma shrugged sleepily before clambering onto the sofa next to the other woman. "Guess I drifted off during the movie." She turned to look at the brunette and smiled as she saw sharp eyes scanning the room for signs of mess and silently congratulated herself for cleaning up earlier.

Regina sipped her cider carefully before meeting green eyes. "Did you have a good night dear?"

The question caught her off guard and she began to ramble about the game before she noticed dark eyes raking up and down her body. She began to feel heat flood through her body, a familiar feeling when a certain mayor's eyes found her own or gazed at her. She swallowed thickly as the older woman smirked and sipped her drink. "D-did you?"

Regina rolled her eyes at the ever-eloquent Sherriff "No but I managed to complete my tasks." She sighed and stretched before kicking off her heels and bringing her knees up to her chin.

Emma watched her movements carefully and gingerly reached out to pull on the mayor's pant leg coaxing her legs to lie across her lap. She maintained eye contact with the brunette like a wild animal as she took a foot in her hand and gently began to rub it.

She watched the movements carefully and noted how much the younger woman was treating her with care like she were an animal in headlights but surprisingly found herself at ease at comfortable with the other woman touching her so intimately. She sighed deeply and allowed herself to melt backwards into the sofa cushions at the blonde gained confidence and began to massage in earnest.

It was an intimate moment and Emma could feel her heart thundering in her chest, they had never been like this with each other, she had never see Regina with her guard down so low. She felt honoured that the other woman trusted her so much, she also felt incredibly guilty that the longer Regina's legs stayed there the more aroused she was becoming at being in such physical contact with her. It wasn't until the older woman let out a husky breathy moan that Emma shot out of her seat and shoved her hands hastily in her jeans pockets. "I'd, um, better…" she jerked her thumb toward the door and flushed a little when Regina smirked at her.

Why does she have to be so damned beautiful?

The younger woman shot off the couch like a jack in the box and it took a moment for Regina to realise what had spooked her. She didn't mean to let out the noise but she had been holding it in as soon as the blonde touched her there was a strange electricity between the two of them and whenever they touched, which was once in a blue moon, it felt exhilarating. The blonde stood looking awkward as she rose off the couch and closed the space between them.

Emma's mind blanked, being in that close proximity after hearing Regina moan was too much for it to cope with. She felt like she was in a bubble with a time delay as Regina walked toward the front door it took her a moment to follow and realise what was happening. She scrambled to pick up her boots and put them on.

"Oh, Miss Swan?" the brunette asked innocently.

Emma turned to face Regina and gawped as the woman slowly bent down to pick something up off the floor. She dropped her boot with a clonk and stammered as the brunette turned toward her. "Y-yes?"

Subtle as a brick Miss Swan.

It was no secret that the blonde sometimes looked at her rear or her cleavage if the opportunity presented itself, but it was always satisfying to wind her up with it on occasion. She did her best at a nonchalant expression "Are there leftovers from dinner?"

Emma was thankful her head was down and her hair covering her beetroot red face, the dinner that had been left for them was sat in the back of her yellow Bug along with all the junk snacks Emma had brought with her. By the time they had finished a couple of games both of them were full up on it so Emma had taken the homecooked meal to eat at work the next day, she did love Regina's lasagne. Not wanting to get herself or Henry in trouble she schooled her features as she stood up. "Ah, no. Sorry, we finished it all."

Regina gave the other woman a pleasant smile, careful not to let her contempt shine through. "Never mind. Thank you for watching Henry Miss Swan."

Emma stepped out onto the porch and smiled "Any time, you know that…we have a great kid."

Though she wanted to scowl at the use of the term 'we' Regina relented, after all they had been getting on better in recent months and it was handy to have someone to help out on occasion. She nodded curtly "Indeed."

The two shared a quiet moment before Emma turned to leave. A hand grasped her red leather jacker and pulled her back, the action so unexpected that she almost spun right into the brunette instead managing to stop just a breath away.

Regina's breath was stolen as she came face to face with the blonde and for an insane moment thought she was going to kiss her. Once she snapped out of the shock of being so close she smiled and held out her hand. "You forgot this."

It was a dangerous smile, Emma knew that look anywhere and she wasn't sure what was about to happen, a punch? It had happened before. She looked down and held out her hand as Regina placed a tiny object in it. A popcorn kernel.

Fuck.

The look of guilt told Regina everything she needed to know and she smirked at the blonde knowingly. "Oh, and Miss Swan?" she whispered. Green eyes met her own and she reached up with a solitary digit and swiped at the corner of her lips revelling in the small shudder from the younger woman.

Emma watched in slow motion as Regina touched her face, looked at her finger and then drew it into her mouth sinfully slowly and sucked, releasing the now wet shiny finger and grinning like a Cheshire cat at her.

"You have salsa on your face." She turned and went inside the house with a triumphant grin leaving the poor discombobulated Sherriff on her doorstep staring at the now closed door.


Fuuuuuck.

Emma didn't know which was worse; Regina knowing that she had disobeyed her and fed their son junk for dinner or the mixed-up swirling emotions she had going for Regina right now. She got into the loft and slammed the door behind her accidently waking her roommate Mary Margaret who had dozed off on the couch. "Sorry." She trailed the half-hearted apology as she made her way into her room and sat on the edge of her bed in a trance.

I thought she was going to kiss me…I wanted her to kiss me.

The realisation of how much she wanted Regina to kiss her was worrying. Yes, she'd found her attractive from the moment she saw her, who wouldn't? But this? This was uncharted territory, how was she supposed to go back to sarcasm, biting comments and flirty fighting? She felt utterly transparent stood on that porch and she would put money on the fact that the Mayor knew exactly what she was doing and knew what was racing through her mind. She covered her face with her hands and fell back onto her bed.

Fuuuuuck.


Regina paced the living room with the glass of cider still pressed against her lips. As soon as the evil glee had left her body she felt utterly sober and pensive. There was a moment between the two of them, a completely unbidden one, but there was something there. She shook her head for the third time that evening to rid herself of thoughts of the infuriating Sherriff. She drained her glass and went to go and check on Henry who was fast asleep. She paused by his bed and gazed at his peaceful face and pondered just how much he looked like his blonde mother in moments like this. She leaned forward and kissed him gently on the forehead before musing what it would be like to kiss said mother. She thought back to being on the porch, she could have done it, they were only a breath apart. She shook her head before angrily stalking to her bathroom.

Miss Swan get out of my head!


Emma huffed and pressed the stop button on her headphones. It was no good. She'd had the last of the whiskey, an herbal tea, and now was listening to nature noises on her phone through her headphones. None of it was working; she wasn't tired at all and she couldn't get Regina out of her head. Before she knew it, a sneaky hand had travelled its way down her body and under the waistband of her underwear.

This is wrong.

The hand didn't stop despite her mental battle with herself.

She is becoming your friend you will ruin this. She is your mother's son! What would she think if she could see you now. You're pathetic.

She sighed heavily, removed her headphones from her ears and closed her eyes. No amount of reasoning could quell what she was feeling – there was only one way she was getting to sleep tonight.


Regina climbed out of her extended shower feeling much more like herself again and got changed into her silk pyjamas letting the day's weariness take over her as she snuggled into her warm luxurious soft bed with a happy sigh. She was just drifting off into a deep sleep when a noise disturbed her peace and made her jump. She hurriedly reached for her bedside lamp and frowned at her phone frantically buzzing at her. She picked it up and scowled at the name before swiping to answer it "Miss Swan! Do you have any idea of the time?!" She reprimanded before pausing at an odd noise on the line. "Miss Swan?"

"Oh fuck! Regina!"

The blonde yelled down the phone and panic gripped the brunette's heart and without a second thought she waved her hand and vanished in a poof of purple smoke, re-appearing at the end of Emma Swan's bed. Her eyes grew wide and her jaw dropped like a stone as she suddenly realised why the blonde sounded strained on the phone. Her hand next to her ear loosened and her phone fell from her hand and clattered loudly on the floor.

Emma heard the noise and her eyes flew open just enough to register Regina stood in her bedroom and instantly fell off the bed. "What the shit?!"

With another wave of her hand the brunette vanished leaving only a trace of purple smoke and a Sherriff in a total state of shock and complete dissatisfaction as certain parts of her anatomy throbbed in time with her thundering chest as her mouth, in total contrast to other areas, dried up completely.

What the fuck just happened?

Regina just saw me masturbating and calling out her name.

Regina was here.

Regina appeared.

Speak of the fucking devil all right…

more like scream her name.

I need a cold shower.


A cold shower was also being had on the other side of Storybrooke.

Must not think about it.

Emma Swan masturbates with her bra on.

That is not not thinking about it!

She was thinking about me.

God damn it Regina Mills get a grip!

By the time the mayor actually managed to fall into the grip of sleep it was starting to grow light outside and she knew she was in for a hell of a morning.


Emma groaned at an insistent chirpy happy melody that perforated her eardrums at what felt like an ungodly hour. She fumbled around for her headphones, yelled some obscenities at her flat mate and stuck her head under her pillow to drown out the noise. A couple of hours later she was begrudgingly awoken by a ringing. She looked at her phone and frowned before hideous memories came flooding back to her.

Oh fuck.

She climbed out of bed and scanned the floor for the offending object and sure enough there was Regina's phone doing a dance in circles as it vibrated on her floor. She picked it up and winced at the caller ID; Henry. She swiped her thumb across and before she could even take a breath was bombarded.

"Miss Swan I am not in the mood for talking so listen carefully. You have my phone, we do not need discuss why. I am late for work because I did not have an alarm. Henry is late for school for the same reason. You will come and pick him up, drive him to school and leave my phone."

Emma blinked at the phone as she was abruptly hung up on. She groaned and went to her closet to pull out some clothes, her day was shaping up to be a brilliant one! She left her bedroom and frowned at the figure busying around her kitchen. "David?"

"Oh! Morning Emma!" He beamed at her as he flipped a spatula in the air and caught it "Beautiful morning huh?"

Emma grumbled a response and frowned at him "Why are you-…you know what? Never mind." She pulled open the front door.

"Hey! Don't you want some breakfast? I can leave you some, I'm gonna take this to Mary Margaret at school – she left in a hurry we kinda slept in!"

Gross.

Then an idea sprang to mind and she grinned at the overly enthusiastic cook "Hey David? Can you do me a huge favour?"

"Sure!"

"Great! Henry is at his house and is running late for school, take my Bug, go get him and take him with you? Oh, and don't let Regina see you, she'll kill me!"

David nodded through her instructions and threw her a lopsided grin "No problem!"

She gave him a grateful smile before tossing the keys to him "You're my hero!"


Regina left Henry inside telling him to wait for Emma before escaping herself – she did not want to bump into Miss Swan this morning of all mornings. She had called her assistant and cancelled her morning meeting and now she needed coffee more than she had needed it since Henry was teething. She headed for Granny's feeling less flustered but nowhere near her normal self. As she entered all eyes shot to her – she was used to the attention being mayor after all but her paranoia was on high alert and she felt like everyone knew what had happened.

"Usual?"

The brunette with streaks of red in her hair flashed her a toothy smile and she began to relax a little more. "Please." She nodded. "Takeaway." She added, the sooner she could get away from people the better the way she was feeling today.

The young woman slid her coffee across the counter and she smiled gratefully before gracefully climbing off the stool and turning to leave before colliding directly with another person. The coffee went all down her crisp clean white shirt and she looked down in horror. She opened her mouth to let rip at the imbecile only for the horror to grow exponentially as she was once again face to face with the dreaded Miss Swan only this time covered in hot coffee and instantly plagued with mental images of the woman pleasuring herself.

"Oh holy shit!" Emma began to dab at the shirt before realising she was touching the other woman and recoiling like she had been stung. "Regina I am so sor-"

"Enough!" the mayor's voice bellowed out around the small diner and anyone looking in their direction immediately became utterly fascinated by their feet or hands.

Emma stammered and felt embarrassment colouring her cheeks and chest before grabbing some napkins off the counter and thrusting them at the brunette desperately avoiding eye contact.

"You are supposed to be taking my son to school!" Regina hissed angrily as she dabbed hopelessly at the coffee already staining the material.

Something snapped inside Emma at the poignant use of that word and she met angry eyes defiantly "David is taking him as I have to get to work, you know as Sherriff unless your personal needs are suddenly more important than that!"

Regina glared at the impudent woman "My personal needs? Last time I checked it wasn't my personal needs who caused this mess!"

Emma felt her chest and face burn a deep crimson "This isn't my fault!"

"Oh really?!" Regina's voice got suddenly louder. "And how exactly is this my fault Miss Swan?"

The blonde could feel people's eyes all around focused on her and she growled "Really?! Really!?"

Regina crossed her arms, arched her eyebrow and pursed her lips maintaining the steely glare at the younger woman that would have most people wilting away. Miss Swan however was not most people.

"Well I dunno 'Gina! Maaaaaybe if you didn't go around poofing into people's bedrooms in the middle of the night then you wouldn't interrup-" she cleared her throat "you wouldn't see things you aren't meant to see!"

Interrupted?

Interesting, no wonder she's even tetchier than normal.

She stood even taller and jutted her chin out defiantly "Well if I wasn't mean to see then why did you call me Miss Swan?"

That had Emma stumped. "What?"

"Why did you call me?"

"Erm I didn't!"

Regina was at the end of her tether. "Miss Swan! If you think I am in the habit of surprising people in the middle of the night you are sorely mistaken!" Emma opened her mouth to retort and Regina saw red. "And even if I was I certainly wouldn't be visiting you!"

That comment left a bitter taste in her mouth, even though she knew she would never be Regina's type even if she did swing that way, that still hurt. "Ouch. Low blow Regina. Look, all I know is that I didn't call you." She shrugged and went to walk away before reaching into her pocket and holding out the brunette's phone.

Regina snatched the phone from the pale hand and unlocked it rapidly before thrusting it in the blonde's face triumphantly.

Emma stood staring at the phone record utterly stunned. "I- I don't understand." She stammered.

The older woman opened her mouth to snap sarcastically but she looked at those green eyes and realisation dawned on her, she knew those eyes too well to lie to her. "You really didn't mean to call." Her voice dropped low and soft.

"God no!" Emma startled and flushed again seeing something indescribable flicker across Regina's eyes. "I mean…ugh I just don't know how that happened I wasn't even on my pho…"

"Miss Swan?" The Sherriff had frozen.

Emma's mind was reeling with the possibilities.

"Emma?" the brunette lay a gentle hand on her arm and they both stepped backwards with the heat and electricity it caused between them.

"Oracle." Regina frowned at the younger woman. "Regina."

The mayor opened her mouth to say something but her phone buzzing in her hand interrupted her.

"Oh fuck." Emma whispered. "I'm going to kill our kid."

Our kid. It always had an odd effect on her hearing those words from those lips and she was dazed for a moment. "Erm…Henry is to blame for this…?" the awkward pause lingered.

"No! no, fuck no!"

"Language Miss Swan." She reprimanded.

Emma rolled her eyes but smiled, some semblance of their old banter was back. "So, um Henry did this cool thing to my phone where we change the voice recognition…and we changed it to, um, Oracle, you know from-"

"Batman." The brunette chuckled softly as Emma's eyebrows shot into her hairline. "What?" Regina blushed a little secretly loving that she could surprise the younger woman. "I read comics to Henry and he reads them to me sometimes." She shrugged nonchalantly "I still don't see how this caused…erm…"

Emma cursed herself as for the millionth time this morning she flushed a dark crimson red. "Well…um…I can only assume that I said something that sounded like Oracle…something like ohh my g-"

"Right! Yes! Thank you, Miss Swan," Regina snipped at the blonde, all this extra information was getting her hot under the collar.

And I was touching myself and calling your name so it called you.

Those were the unspoken words between the pair but very much understood as Emma rocked back on her heels, biting her bottom lip and Regina ran her hands through her hair pretending not to notice that lip between teeth and the effect it was having on her.

"Right. Well now that's all cleared up." Regina waved a hand across her shirt and in a puff of purple smoke the fresh coffee spill was gone. She reached out and grabbed the reorder Ruby had made without a word and nodded awkwardly at the blonde Sherriff. "Good day Miss Swan."

Emma nodded "Madam Mayor."


So this is a random one shot I thought of when yelling at my phone to get my own voice recognition to work and then considering changing the word to an appropriate curse word for the stupid contraption and then decided against it as I swear like a sailor so it would go off all the time...and voila! The idea popped into my head haha!

One shot at the moment if anyone has any ideas of what they would like to see it turn into please review/pm me or find me on social media - J. D. Roxburgh/jdroxburgh

Currently working on another one shot but that might get delayed for a couple of weeks as I have some actual real life social events coming up which is unusual haha!

Thanks for reading - feedback is always welcomed even if not good :)