Disclaimer: Don't own LOTR. Wish I did, but don't. C'est la vie.

Warning: This may contain spoilers for those of you who haven't read the books. So beware.

I wrote a fic about this a long time ago. It was called 'The Loser'. You don't have to read it before this, but it might help you if you get confused.

Almost all of its reviewers clamored for a sequel.

So here it is.

Enjoy.

*********************

Bright lights flashed, shrill alarms blared, and guards ran about the halls.

There had been a prison break. The first one ever to occur in this specific penitentiary, which was less than a year old and chock full of hi- tech equipment.

Unfortunately, all that hi-tech equipment had caused the circuits to short out. And during the blackout, four inmates had obviously realized the cells weren't locked anymore.

So they had escaped, with very little effort. And since four hours had gone by before their absence was noted, they were probably miles away by now.

Search parties had been sent out in all four directions, but so far there had been no luck. It was unlikely they would ever be located

~~~

The Warden paced frantically about his office, sweat pouring off his face. The alarm system kept screaming, and it wasn't helping him much.

Like the prison, the Warden was relatively new at his job. And right now, with four convicts missing, he was absolutely terrified of being fired.

Frantically, the Warden continued to walk quickly back and forth across the room. Nervous beyond comprehension, he jammed his hands into the pockets of his jacket.

His pacing came to a sudden halt, as his fingers closed around a crumpled scrap of paper.

With shaking fingers, the Warden pulled the paper from his pocket and smoothed it out carefully. It was a letter he had received several days ago. From a friend of his, William McGee.

McGee was a police officer in a nearby town, and he had recently written to the Warden about yet another incident where he had relied upon the help of...a Superhero?

The Warden had heard William speak of this Superhero several times before, but had always doubted that some freak with a costume could have succeeded where trained civil servicemen had not.

But right now, the Warden was desperate. He was willing to try anything, short of selling his soul.

Squinting at the paper in the dim lamplight, he was able to make out the number William had called to contact his mysterious aid: 1-800-F-E-L-L-O-W- S-H-I-P.

The Warden nearly tripped over the carpet as he rushed to his desk and grabbed the phone.

~~~

The quarter-moon was low in the sky, and the four figures that raced along the deserted highway were barely visible in its dim glow.

Their boots made soft thudding noises as they moved. They weren't really running anymore, seeing as their chances of getting caught were very slim. They were now content to jog at an easygoing pace, slow but never stopping.

Two of the men were jogging close to each other, whispering conspiratorially. Their names were Chris DuVall and Benny Mezzino. These two scoundrels had actually been planning to escape for quite awhile, and had taken the sudden power failure as a sign that now was the time to leave. So abandoning their previous plans, they had simply run away.

The other two men were Robbie Brown and John Delansky. They were just a couple of guys who had happened to be awake enough to see Chris and Benny exit their cells and depart. They had followed suit, and thus escaped as well.

John Delansky shifted nervously as he ran. When he had arrived at the prison, he had been extremely twitchy and easily startled. He had talked in his sleep often, and his nightmares usually scared him awake.

Nowadays Delansky was much better, rarely twitching and mostly managing to stay asleep at night.

But it sure didn't help him when Robbie Brown suddenly stopped dead in his tracks and shrieked like a girl.

Chris DuVall and Benny Mezzino skidded to a halt and spun around. But upon seeing nothing but their two traveling companions, they became angry.

"Hey, what was that about Brown?" Duvall snarled. 'Why you gotta screech like that no--"

"LOOK!" Robbie Brown screamed again, his eyes as big as saucers. He pointed a shaking finger up at the sky.

Three more heads turned upwards to face the moon, and audible gasps came from them all.

Flying across the sky, silhouetted by the moon, was the shape of a giant eagle. Its wingspan must have been more than eight feet across.

And it was turning, wheeling in the sky above them.

Without any warning, it suddenly shot straight down. Directly towards them.

Delansky tried to scream, but no sound came from his throat.

Robbie Brown shrieked again and threw himself flat on his face, but the eagle raised his wings and dug his talons into the gravel on the road. He stopped just short of crashing into the four convicts.

DuVall and Mezzino stared at the giant bird, their mouths hanging open in astonishment.

Sitting atop its back was a skinny figure wearing what looked like a pointy wizard's hat.

It was a girl. A skinny little girl. And she was carrying a thick book under her arm.

Robbie Brown raised his head from the ground.

"W-what's t-that?" He stuttered, pointing a shaking finger at the eagle.

"Gwaihir."

Brown's head shot up as DuVall and Mezzino whirled around to face Delansky. The man was standing there staring wide-eyed at the eagle. It was he who had spoken.

"That's Gwaihir the Windlord." Delansky said again, his voice full of fear.

A sudden crunching noise made them all spin around. The figure that had been sitting on the eagle had dismounted, her feet landing noisily on the deserted road.

John Delansky screamed. And it wasn't girly shriek like Brown's. It was a real, full-fledge scream.

Puzzled, DuVall squinted his eyes, trying to get a good look at the girl.

In addition to her blue wizard's hat, she wore a green cape, suspenders, a pair of short corduroy pants (they only came down to her knees) and a white button-up shirt.

Hardly something to get hysterical about, but John Delansky was beyond terrified.

The girl stepped forward, until she was standing about five feet from the prisoners. She tipped her hat ever so slightly, then smiled.

"Suilad, good gentleman! Might I ask what you are doing, trying to escape from the claws of justice before you have your full imprisonment sentence has been carried out?"

She glanced at Delansky, who had gone dead white.

"Haven't I seen you before?" She asked him, cocking her head to the side.

The man gulped loudly, then responded.

"Yeah. My name's John Delansky. I robbed a bank with a couple of guys. You caught us."

"I knew I remembered you!" The girl exclaimed. "But what happened to your friends?"

"They're both in mental institutions." Delansky said softly

"I see." The girl looked serious for a moment. Then her face brightened again.

"I know! Why don't you run back to prison now and turn yourself in? If you do that, I promise I won't come after you again. Okay?"

Delansky didn't need to be asked twice. Two seconds later, he was galloping back the way he had come, screaming and twitching.

The three remaining prisoners witnessed his departure with shocked expressions. Gwaihir screeched loudly, and they whipped their heads back around to stare at the girl and bird.

"Any of you gentlemen want to follow his lead?" The girl said, still smiling.

"What the hell?!" Mezzino snarled. "You think we're gonna just run back off to prison now? I don't think so! We're leaving, and no giant mutated eagle's gonna stop us, let alone a little shrimp of a girl!"

The eagle slitted his eyes and ruffled his feathers in annoyance.

"Gwaihir's not gonna do anything." The girl said. "I'm the one you should be afraid of. I am The Loser. I am a Superhero. You are bad guys, and I am here to stop you."

There was a moment of silence.

"What?!" Shouted Robbie Brown, very much confused.

"Oh never mind," The Loser said. "You'll see in a moment."

In one fluid motion, Loser flipped open the large book, and ran her finger down the page.

"How many of you know who the Ents are?" She asked, without looking up.

"The what?" Chris DuVall asked.

"The Ents. They look like walking talking trees, about fourteen feet high with smooth, bark like skin and twiggy beards. Their language is.unhasty, to say the least, and filled with adjectives. They drink a substance known as Entwash, which was responsible for the several-inch growth of the hobbits Meriadoc Brandybuck and Peregrin Took, who befriended Treebeard in Fangorn forest. Treebeard was the lord of Fangorn forest, and one of the oldest Ents still alive. He first ran into Merry and Pippin after they had escaped the Orcs and Uruk-hai who had been carrying them to Saruman the White, the head of the Five Istari and the White Council. Although Saruman really had no claim to those titles, seeing as he had long since become corrupt, desiring the One Ring of Sauron for himself. Sauron being, of course, the present Dark Lord, the former right-hand Maia of the Ainur Morgoth Bauglir, who had been defeated in the First Age. Oh, and did I mention all the female Ents, the Entwives that is, dissape-"

"AAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" Robbie Brown screamed. He began rolling around on the ground, twisting and writhing in the throes of insufferable agony.

Sighing, The Loser held up her book.

"Do you understand now? I have before me an entire copy of Lord of the Rings, plus a plethora of facts and names from The Hobbit, The Silmarillion and Lost Tales stored in my head. No one except the devout worshippers of Tolkien have ever been able to withstand my lectures. Hence, why your friend is now mentally unstable. He's ingested too many facts."

Sweat pouring off his face, Benny Mezzino stumbled backwards. His vision blurred before him, and he couldn't seem to focus. His brain was malfunctioning.

"'You do not know your danger, Theoden'" The Loser quoted, not even looking back down at the book. "'These hobbits will sit on the edge of ruin and discuss the pleasures of the table, or the small doings of their fathers, grandfathers, and great-grandfathers, and remoter cousins to the ninth degree.' And most certainly they would! Hobbits are rather simple creatures, very quaint and sociable, if neither very wise nor very powerful. But they're stubborn, too, and can fight when they have a mind. Why, just look at the Scouring of the Shire! All it took was the arrival of the four Fellowship hobbits, and everything blew up! Saruman and Grima killed, the ruffians expelled, everyone in the Lockholes was set free. And thanks to the contents of the box Galadriel gave Samwise Gamgee, all the trees grew back super quick!"

With a loud gurgling moan, Mezzino collapsed on the ground. His eyes had rolled back until only the whites were visible, and he was gasping for air.

"Too.much.information!" He wheezed, choking and spitting.

DuVall, although not far short of fainting himself, was still able to stand up. He stared at the prone form of his friend for about two seconds.

Then, his head shot up at his eyes fixed squarely on The Loser.

"I-I give up." He murmured in a small squeaky voice. His legs buckled and he fell to his knees.

"You win."

"Really?"

"Y-yeah. Cuff me and take me back. Just don't mention the word 'hobbit' to me *ever again*!"

"Wow, thanks!"

~~~

Within two hours, all was back to normal.

A highway patrol vehicle had picked up John Delansky walking down a highway. He was brought back to the prison, but not punished.

The Warden, feeling much better, had retired to his house. He was now sitting in bed with a cup of tea, watching late night infomercials.

Robbie Brown and Chris DuVall were returned via eagle flight, cuffed with handcuffs and bound tightly with Lorien rope. They each served a week of solitary confinement, and an addition on their sentences.

Benny Mezzino was returned by the same methods, but not in the same state of mind. The following day, he was shipped of to an asylum, suffering from severe brain trauma.

~~~

All in a day's work for The Loser. She got the call, found the crooks, apprehended them and used her power of Tolkien knowledge to immobilize them

It was the same old routine, but she never tired of it. The criminals always crumpled eventually, they couldn't bear the strain of so much complicated information.

But unbeknownst to out heroine, she was soon to face an enemy that would prove just as strong as she.

********************************

Okay, what do you all think? Tell me.

R&R, please!