Over the last few weeks, nighttime has been the hardest time to overcome for Street.

Being all alone in the darkness reminded him of the endless hours spent in his cold, humid prison, only waiting for something bad to happen.

The sinister rumors of the night that broke the deafening silence of his room, made him feel like someone was coming for him.
But who? Could it be his captor, there to torture him again? Or could it be his team, there to finally save him?
He didn't know.
He couldn't know.

It was not the physical torture that he was afraid of.
No.
It was not knowing. It was the vain hope, the delusion he had every time that damn door opened, and the worst possible outcome revealed right before his eyes.
It was not being his own master.

Most of the times, all these thoughts prevented him to sleep. He needed to remain vigilant, not wanting to lose control of the situation again. And even the times that exhaustion had the best of him, and he had to close his eyes, won by the overtiredness, all he could see were the ghosts of his past experiences.

This time Street found himself in the full dark, feeling multiple hands on his bare skin.
He tried to oppose, but he couldn't move.
"Stop!" he was completely paralyzed. "Leave me alone!"

He started feeling cold from deep inside, from his bones to his heart, and the chills pervaded his whole body.

He woke up at a sudden, all sweat and shaking like a wet chick.
"Ahg..." He tried to move into a sitting position, but he felt a sharp pain in his chest, as his ribs weren't properly healed yet.

"A bad dream," he kept muttering to himself. "It was just a bed dream!"

He painfully reached out to turn the light on, then he laid back for a few seconds.
He tried to normalize his breathing to take his heartbeat down.
His heart was weakened by the electrical shocks he had to face before, and it had not fully recovered yet. And now it was pumping so hard that he could almost hear its sound.

"I'm home," he muttered, still breathing soundly, and focusing on the object in his bedroom.
"I'm home... I'm safe."He kept frenetically looking around.

He gradually got up, and slowly reached the door with his legs barely obeying his will.
He stood by the door, not able to firmly grab the doorknob.
He forced his body to take in a deep breath, then got out of his room, and directed to the sink.

"Hey man!" Luca paused his video game. "Sorry, was the TV volume to high?" His voice reached Street's ears, but not his brain.
"Did I awake you?"

"Uh?" He absently looked at him.

"You okay?" Luca kept asking concerned, and got up from the couch.

"Yeah... yeah I'm, I'm fine," he sighed.
"Just needed some water," he distantly added, taking a glass in his trembling hand.

Street reached the sink, and opened the tap.
He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't even noticed when the glass was full, and the water started dripping out.

Luca reached him, and abruptly closed the tap, as the water was spilling everywhere.
At that sudden movement by his friend, Street crushed the glass in his hand, and small pieces and blood drops covered their feet.

"I'm..." Street awakened from his daydream. "I'm sorry..."

He was extremely disoriented, feeling like a little boy again.
'Please, don't punish me,' was the first thing that passed through his mind at that moment, even before acknowledging he injured himself.

"It's okay," Luca gave Street a towel to cover the cut in his hand, and stop the bleeding.
"Stay there, I got this." He stepped aside, carefully avoiding to walk bare feet on the pieces of glass scattered on the ground.

He grabbed the brush, but when he turned back to clean the floor, , he noticed his teammate was barely standing there, pale and all covered in cold sweat.

"Alright, why don't you you sit down for a moment," Luca quickly cleaned the way for Street to reach a chair.

"I-I can't... I-I need some air." Street rushed out the apartment, without even looking at his friend.

"Wait!" Luca immediately put his pants on, and grabbed a sweater, then he quickly went out after him.

...

Luca got out of the apartment, and quickly looked around.
He found Street heavily breathing, sat on the sidewalk.

"Hey," he noticed how hardly his friend was shaking, "Take this," he put his sweater on his friend's shoulders.

"Thanks," Street forced his voice out, as Luca settled near him, silent.

"I'm sorry," Street was staring at his bandaged hand.
"I was getting claustrophobic in there."

"Don't worry, it's only your second night home," Luca put a hand on his friend's back.

The young cop winched, instinctively retracting from his mate's touch, starting again to shake hardly.

"Okay, okay... be patient." Luca took his hand back, heartbroken to see him reacting like this.
"It will go better soon, you'll see."

"Yeah..." Street's was looking at the void, completely lost.

"Waking up screaming like a little child..." he sniffed. "You must think I'm ridiculous."

"Are you kidding me?" Luca looked straight at him. "After all you went through? This is the most normal reaction you can have," he used the most reassuring tone he could.

"Look," he continued, "I know that at the hospital you were used to all those cute nurses taking care of you, and that right know you are stack here with me only," he smiled, "But it's why I am here for, keep that in mind."

"I thought you were here because your ex girlfriend kicked you out from your own apartment..." he looked up, smirking.

"Yeah... that too!" he laughed.

"Let's get back in now, you ready?"

"Just one more minute..." Street looked up to him again, with his eyes asking louder than his voice.

"Of course," Luca got up, patiently waiting for him.

"Hey, we still have that Call of Duty campaign to finish, you remember?"

"Yeah, sorry, I...I don't think I would be able to even hold the joystick right now." Street got up, showing his friend his bloody hand.

"Right." Luca tried to hide his concern. "I almost forgot...
"You know, I was going to turn the play-station off anyway. Man, it's 3 o'clock in the morning, some of us has to go to work tomorrow!"

They got back in, and Street went strictly toward his bedroom.

In all his life he had always slept with the door well locked.
He surely couldn't be the boy who asks his parents to sleep with them, and even if sometimes was his mother that asked him to sleep in his bed, that weren't the most comfortable or safe conditions for him.
And every time he was in a new foster home, the thought of someone he barely knew could watch him sleep, or worst, could come in, and do who knows what, was enough to prevent him to rest well for the first few days.

Loneliness has always been the price to distrust, a price he was used to pay. But this time it was different. This time, on the other side of the door, there was someone who really cared about him.

"Do you mind..." Street stopped on his bedroom doorway.
"Um, don't bother," he fatigued to look at his friend. "It's too stupid..."

"Come on, go ahead." Luca encouraged him.

"Do you mind if I leave my door open?" He cleared his voice, "Just for tonight..." he was so ashamed to ask, but he couldn't help.

"If you don't mind to hear me snoring, yes, why not?" Luca reassured him, with a big warm smile. He knew how much it must cost Street to make that request, and of course he couldn't deny him his full support.

...

The night passed slowly as Street didn't really wanted to close his eyes.
Eventually, at a certain point exhaustion must get to him, because when he reopened his eyes the morning light was coming thought his open door.

He got up, with his whole body still aching, constantly reminding him of what happened to him.

"Hey!" Luca got out half naked from the bathroom. "You shouldn't be up this early."

Street was walking toward the fridge zombie-like.
"I've been in hospital for 3 weeks, give me some peace, would you?" he heavily sat near the table, with a bottle of milk in his hand.

"I've a little time before shift starts, do you want some breakfast?" Luca said, putting his t-shirt on.

"Oh..." Street looked at him, "You really don't need..."

"Sorry, my bad, it wasn't supposed to be a question," Luca interrupted him. "I'm cooking breakfast for both of us."

"Okay, as you wish," Street surrendered. "But I need to go get dressed in the meantime."

"Dressed for what?" Luca looked at him puzzled, "You are still supposed to be on bed rest!"

"Yeah, I know, but I have to see my mom later."

"Your mom?" Luca stared at him, "In jail?" he raised his eyebrows.

"Yes, It's where she is right now..." He got up, and went toward the bathroom. "It's not like she could visit me at the hospital, you know..."

"Yeah, ok. But you can wait at least a couple of days, till you stop moving around like a walking dead. Can't you?"

"Funny... But she is my mother, and she needs to see me now, so... I'm going."

"Alright, do you need a ride there?"

"No, thank you... Um, actually..." Street voice sounded from the other room, "Grace is driving me..."

"Grace? That Grace?" Luca couldn't get a break from all those unexpected news.

"Yes, who other?" he sneaked his head out.

"Are you dating her or something now?"

"I'm not! She's like a sister to me, always have been...
"I think she is just trying to make amend to me."

"If you say so..." Luca started eating.
"Your breakfast's ready, come here." He muttered with his mouth full.

"So," Luca chomped, "Is she going in with you, to know your mom?" he added as his friend approached.

"Hell no! She will wait me outside," Street sat next to him. "You know, my mother wouldn't' understand what happened, and what she did..."

"Know what?" Luca chomped. "I wouldn't really blame her for that this time."

"Just eat you breakfast, you're running late."

...

A few minutes after Luca left for work, Grace arrived at Street's apartment, and knocked on his door.

"Hi," Street opened the door. "Let me grab my keys, and I'm ready to go." He greeted her.

"Hey, how...how are you doing?" She noticed he still couldn't move around very easily.

"Don't worry, I'm totally fine," he smiled, putting his arm to his chest.
"What about you?" they headed to her car.

"Fine." she hurried back, "I mean, I'm starting that new job, and... Yeah, I, I'm... fine," she whispered.

"Hey," he stopped her before getting in the car, making her face him. "Hey, It's me, I was there, okay?"

She looked straight at him, desperately trying to not let the tears go.

"I know what's like: sleeping is hard, you're afraid of every single sound you here in the distance, and even doing the simplest thing sometimes seems impossible." He took her hands. "It's gonna be better, I promise.
"We have to believe that."

"Yeah... thanks. We... we shell go now," she jumped in the car, and started the engine.

Street soundly exhaled, and slowly got in with her.

The whole ride to the state correctional was silent and even a bit awkward.
Grace was still shocked, and Street was feeling guilty to have brought back that argument so soon.

"Here you go." She stopped near the gate.

"Thanks, you..." he said, a little embarrassed. "What are you doing in the meantime?"

"Oh, don't worry for me, I have some phone calls to make, you know, new job... I'll park right there, and you, um, you take your time."

"Ok, thank you again, really." He closed the car door, and went toward the penitentiary entrance.

...

Luca entered the Swat HQ, and approached Hondo in the gym.

"Hey, boss, don't tell me you spent this last two days of license like this." He chuckled.

"You know, you snooze you lose," Hondo said, tapping him on the shoulder with his boxing glove on.

Luca shook his head, smiling.

"And you? Did you spent your free day babysitting our guy, am I wrong?" Hondo continued.

"Yeah," Chris popped out from nowhere. "How this first nights at home turned out?"

"Woo, good morning to you too," Luca tried to hide the fact that she startled him.

"It went as you can expect," he sighed, "Not too much sleep, and bearing his real feelings deep down."

Hondo could feel that there was more.
"Panic attacks?" his tone grew more concerned.

"Yeah, I mean, he tries hard to hide it from me, but... I think he had a pretty bad one just last night."

"Okay, I know we are supposed to give him some space, to recover and all those kind of things," Chris couldn't help but worry for him. "But is it safe to leave him home alone this soon?"

"You realize he is not a kid to babysit for real right?" Hondo said.

"Well, however he is not alone, and he is not home either." Luca pointed out.

"Isn't he supposed to still be on bed rest?" She looked at him anxious.

"I told him it wasn't such a good idea, but he wanted to go see his mother."

"His mother?" Hondo's tone grew more and more concerned.

"Yeah, what can I say, he is such a momma boy..."

...

As soon as Karen Street saw her son getting in, she approached, and gave him a big hug.

"Ohw..." he growled as she was holding him to tight.

"I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean," she quickly retracted, carefully scanning him.
"Let's have a sit," she lead him to the little table.

"I'm fine mom..."

"I swear to you, if I could have that man under my hands..." her terrifying look made him feel chills on his back, resurrecting the memory of the night when she 'took care' of his dad.

"It's ok, he is locked up now." Street tried to maintain the calm. "He is not going to be a problem anymore."

"Yeah, I know that, but I'm never gonna forgive him for what he did to you!" Karen's voice was full of rage.

"Don't do that, he is not dad." He took both her hands in his, "This is a different story, ok? You can do nothing, just forget about him, alright?"

She tried to look at him condescending, but she couldn't fully hide her anger.

"Promise me you will try, mom."

"Ok, baby. I'll try," her voice was cold and distant, but he chose to believe her, like he always did.

"You sure you're really ok?" she kept staring at him, noticing his dressed hand.

Street retracted it, and forced out a smile. He wanted to reassure her, but before he could speak, an explosion occurred, making all the presents jump from their chairs.

The gate soundly opened, and some armed guys got in, pushing a neutralized guard in front of them.

It all happened in a blink, but for Street it was an endless minute.
His hands started to hardly shake, and his heart jumped up in his throat, with all kind of terrible thoughts going through his mind.

'Not again, please, not again!' he kept repeating to himself, tying to regain his cool, but it was all useless. He could just stood there, frozen, again not being his own master.


.


Author's note: I hope you enjoyed my opening chapter. A little more action will be present in the second one.
I'm afraid to say that this time I won't be able to update as frequently as I did for my last multi chapter story. I'm sorry but I have too many things on my hands right now, and staying focused on a single project is hard.
I hope to get back in a week, see you there!