Disclaimer: I am running out of clever things to say here. Let's just say that I don't own Warehouse 13 and leave it at that.
A/N: I have just started to watch warehouse 13 and have only seen the first season so far. As soon as I saw it I fell in love with the idea of Pete and Myka together so any stories I write will probably be based around them. This is sort of a reflection that I wrote to try and understand Myka so I can write her accurately. Any feedback will be appreciated as I am still new to Warehouse 13. This is set early in the first season.
A reflection on Myka
The face in the mirror that reflected back at her wasn't what she wanted to see, wasn't what she wanted for herself. She wasn't this person; angry, sad, regretful. She blamed herself for what happened to Sam even though, deep down, a part of her knew that she wasn't to blame, knew that he was early. But the knowledge that there might have been something she could have done differently to prevent his death haunted her. Always wondering, waiting for something to go wrong again.
And then Pete came along. He was funny in a goofy kind of way. He was happy and carefree, his heart in the right place. In some ways she hated him yet parts of her envied him, the same parts that said none of it was her fault. But she couldn't accept that. She needed someone to blame and with Sam gone, she blamed herself. Pete was her partner yet she couldn't let him in, couldn't get hurt again. She wouldn't let him get hurt either.
People often thought of her as someone who was firm, rules and protocol being extremely important but she wasn't really. There was another side to her, someone that she was scared to show for fear of being rejected and discouraged, just like her dad had done. This was why she was so determined to be different, determined to never let her feelings get ahead of her again. Leena seemed to know this side of her. How she knew baffled Myka and simultaneously scared her. But Leena never pushed her yet still gave her subtle hints. In a strange way it was somewhat comforting. She didn't completely trust her but she did more than a lot of others.
Artie was someone she struggled to trust. He never told the full story and she struggled knowing that there was more. Yet she trusted him because that reminded her of herself. While she didn't agree, she did understand on some level why he did what he did. The only person she really trusted, although not with herself, was Pete. He cared about her and went out of his way because of it. She may not trust him with herself but she does trust him to have her back, now and always. Maybe one day she would trust him completely.
