Xena tossed over the cold, hard ground. The fire was burning low so she got up and positioned two more logs in the pile. "That's better," she whispered to herself as the flames welcomed the new wood and the heat rose out to warm her cold skin. Gabrielle's snores grew softer, as the warmth filled the air.
The winter moon was full in the big sky of stars. Her breath moved out in clouds as she got settled back into her bed sack. As much as she dreaded it, she also could not wait to get to get back to Amphipolis, to a warm bed. It was only a day's ride and they'd make it there by Solstice Eve.
She gave the dark forest around her one last look before closing her sky-blue eyes. She knew those woods well, as she should. She tried not to think about it but she couldn't stop. Finally, her thoughts turned to dreams, as she fell into the arms of Morpheus, in Dream World.
"Morpheus!" she screamed, standing in a place that looked exactly like that forest, yet it was not because in that realm, snow covered the ground. "Come out!"
The God of Dreams walked from behind a huge tree. He was dressed in a dark cloak that stopped at his knees, he came eye to eye with Xena. "Do you know where you are, Warrior Princess?" he asked, mockingly.
"Wake me up, I don't wanna be here."
"Too bad."
"Where's Gabrielle?" she asked, looking around on the crunchy blanket of white.
"Gabrielle is a little girl in Potidea."
Xena snarled. "You wake me up!"
"Of course. But first, let me show you Solstice past," he said.
"Solstice what?"
Morpheus pointed to a dark horse in the distance. Xena watched her younger self ride up, her long hair flying in the cold wind behind her.
"That's me," she gasped.
"Not too long after you took over Ares' army. And his bed," he chuckled.
"I don't want to see this," she demanded. "Take me back!"
She watched her younger self come to a sudden stop. Ares popped up, in a whirlwind of light. Xena stood watching the past, unable to stop her present tears.
"What do you want?" younger Xena blasted at Ares.
The war god charmingly smirked at his young warrior. "Remember what I asked? Well, I want you to come with me. It's Solstice."
"And do what? Dress as peasants and celebrate solstice? No thanks!"
Ares rolled his dark eyes. "Look, Xena, I'm serious. I'm always the God of War. I never just get to be, you know..."
"A peasant?" Younger Xena spat. "I might be for this crazy idea, if we could go to Olympus. Live like gods. But peasants?"
"Forget it! Forget I asked!" he yelled, throwing his fists in the air.
Xena stood with Morpheus watching it, holding her churning guts. She didn't want to see what was going to happen.
Younger Xena laughed wickedly, the snow falling over her dark hair. The weather was frigid but still not as cold as her heart. "Are you getting soft on me? Huh? Are you a sucker like Borias?"
"I said to forget it!" Ares snarled at her. "I just had a frickin' idea that we could pretend to be husband and wife, you know go to a solstice celebration. Not tell the army. Just go. We can't walk into town as Xena and Ares, but in a disguise, it could be fun. Maybe."
"I don't think so," she said. "And never let me hear you talk about nuptials," the wild youth said, her sky-blue eyes hard on her handsome target. "Unless you're gonna make me a goddess and we can rule together."
"That's all you want, isn't it?" Ares asked. She watched him, watching the younger version of herself. She loved the way he looked at her. There was desire, but there was also something else. Love? Maybe not yet but the desire wasn't just sexual. The desire to try to relate to her on a mortal level, it was there.
"That's right. I want your power, your sex, your army. Nothing else. Got it?"
"Understood," Ares agreed, then laughed, boomingly. "And...you passed the test."
"What test?" the young Xena asked.
"The one I give all of my chicks. You know, to make sure they're not all dreamy-eyed on me. I'm not much for romance, however, most girls are. And they'll say they're not, but secretly, they want more. I just wanted to test you, that's all."
"Oh yeah?" Xena sassed and jumped off the horse. She walked up close to the scruffy, leather-clad god. "First of all, I don't have any secrets. What you see is what you get. And another thing, I'm no girl. I'm all woman."
"You got that right," he mumbled, looking over her curves.
"So, no more tests and no more wasting my time." She kissed him hard, almost devouring his thick lips. "I'll see you at my tent, tonight."
"Count on it," he said and gave her a lasting look.
Morpheus turned to Xena, who stood watching the Solstice past. Xena could tell now that it was only a bluff. He had wanted to just be a regular couple for a change, just to have her be his girl. Younger Xena mounted the horse then rode away without even a goodbye. Ares disappeared into shimmers of light. Xena looked down at their tracks in the fresh snow, the only thing that remained.
"I want out of here!" Xena demanded.
"As you wish," the dream god granted and zapped them into another realm.
Instantly, Xena and Morpheus were on Mount Olympus, in a huge golden room with extravagant décor. Marble busts of Aphrodite were everywhere. Xena rolled her eyes. "Why are we here?" she whispered.
"You don't have to whisper Xena," the dream god informed. "We are in the present again but nobody can see us. Or hear us. Just like before, in the woods with Ares."
Cupid burst through the golden double doors, with baby Bliss in his arms. Psyche and Aphrodite were right behind them, holding gift boxes wrapped in a red shine. Lastly, Ares crept through the big doorway, he seemed unimpressed.
"Do I really have to be here?" the war god spat.
Aphrodite spun around. "Bro! You promised not to complain. So, stop! It's Solstice."
"We're not mortals. Why do you care?" he sassed.
"Duh. Gifts." She spun back around and sat the presents on a huge table made of black marble.
"Yeah," Cupid added, "it's not our fault that you don't have a family of your own. Maybe you should get married. Maybe then you'd finally understand holiday cheer."
Bliss flew into Ares strong arms. "What do you want, you little pesky fly?" Ares grumbled, but his tone was softer than he intended.
Xena watched him. She knew by his expression that he had an idea. "Hey um," Ares said, raising his voice over the chatter of his relatives. "Bliss and I are gonna go for a little walk. Get some candy."
"Candy?" Psyche asked.
"Yeah," Ares said, obviously up to something, "I forgot it okay? I was gonna bring it for your stupid solstice thing tonight but…"
"Go ahead," Cupid granted with a nod. Bliss clapped and giggled uncontrollably. Ares snapped his fingers and took the child with him through the abyss. Morpheus and Xena followed.
They all appeared in town, where a late night-celebration was still going on in the streets near a tavern. Bliss flew away, to a nearby woodworker's shoppe where two men painted toy soldiers red and white. The winged boy took a toy solider from a display in an open window. "Candy?"
"No. Put that back," Ares barked. The boy's lip quivered. "And don't cry about it."
"Candy?" he asked again, pointing to a lantern held by an old man with a cane.
"No!" Ares insisted. "Don't you know what candy is? And here," he said, casting a spell to remove the little god's wings. "Stop flying around. We're trying to blend in with the mortals. Ares snapped himself into a pair of brown baggy pants and matching shirt. He dressed the child in similar attire, only olive green in color. Bliss looked at Ares confused. He sat the kid in the snow, and began to look around. "See this, Bliss? This is all I really want. I mean, I like the god gig. Mortality sucks. Don't get me wrong. But sometimes, there just more…something…than we could ever know. More…I can't put a word to it. Magic? Love?"
"Humanity," Xena said, but they could not hear her.
Ares stared off at the happy mortals, dancing and singing in the streets. "They want me to get married. Start a real family, not just kids with my mistresses. They want me to build my Olympian legacy. But," he exhaled loudly. "That's never gonna happen. I love Xena. She won't be with me. And that's that."
A hard ball of snow struck Ares between his dark eyes. He looked down at the giggling child. "Did you do that? You little punk?"
The war god scooped up a huge chunk of snow and shaped it into a globe. He smacked the kid in the chest. Bliss fell to the ground, wailing in embarrassment. On-lookers stared at him, disapprovingly. "Hey! He started it!" Ares yelled. He lifted Bliss to his chest. "Shut up." The boy sobbed louder. "I mean, hush. Be quiet. I mean, don't cry. Want candy?"
The blonde child's eyebrow lifted. His sobs were quieter. "Candy?"
"Yes." Ares zapped the first thing he saw, the old man with the cane, who had entered the woodworker's shoppe. He summoned that cane, through the red and white paint, and out the window. Ares shrunk it, small enough for Bliss' hands and turned it into confection. "There. A candy cane. Now. Shut up." Bliss frowned. "I mean, be quiet."
Xena smiled, her eyes soft with emotion. Morpheus spoke up, "You wouldn't give him the time of day."
"Because I thought he couldn't change!"
"But you can?"
"It's different! Ares is a god."
"And gods are more powerful than humans. So, shouldn't gods have the ability more than say, a mere mortal like yourself?" The dream god looked backed to Ares with the god child. "If a mortal like yourself can change, especially one like yourself," Morpheus said, emphasizing the last word, "then, why not a god?"
"Shut it. Why do you care if Ares and I get together?"
"Because. I know both of your dreams. And it seems pointless for you both to want each other, so deeply. And I do know how much you yearn for him," he reminded. "But yet, you go through life alone. Both of you."
"I have Gabrielle!" Xena smarted.
"Yes. Together Alone. Yet, with Ares…"
"Just stop talking!" She looked back to Ares and Bliss. He had taken the child's hand and walked to a group of carolers. Ares was watching intently. She knew that look, when he was extremely interested. She'd seen it, year before when she disclosed new battle plans, or even disrobed in front of him. Yet now he was giving it to a group of solstice singers?
"Okay," a matronly lady said with a smile. "It's a carol we invent as we go. We each sing a line that rhymes. Verse one will rhyme with verse three. Verse two will rhyme with verse four. And so on."
"Got it," Ares nodded. "I have plenty of battle hymn dedicated to me, in this way." Everyone seemed puzzled. Ares softly bit his pillowed lip. "Nevermind."
The matronly woman began:
Happy night of singing our tunes
Dancing with our loved ones near
'Neath the light of a winter moon
Spreading heartfelt Solstice cheer
Ares began his part:
But my best Solstice is yet to come
When she becomes my Solstice Queen
I bet my chances are a thousand to one
But she's the only one for me
Ares kept singing:
And someday, she'll be my Solstice Queen
No other warrior princess will ever do
And if Xena won't be my Solstice Queen
I'll forever be an eternal scrooge
"Somebody stop him," Xena moaned. She turned to Morpheus. "Get me outta here."
"But he loves you."
"Yeah, yeah," she huffed. "He loves me. I get it. He has a warped way of expressing that but I get it. It doesn't change anything. Ares and I can't be together. There's been too much bad…too much evil. Even a love like ours couldn't survive. So, why even try?" She walked away from Ares and the carolers. "I'm tired of your stupid games, Morpheus. Take me back!"
"Oh, no," Morpheus grinned. We must go forward before we can go back. The world went dark.
When the light found Xena's eyes, it was almost celestial, bright and white. When the brightness resumed to normal, she realized that she was on Olympus. "Why are we here again?" Xena grumbled at the God of Dreams.
He pushed the hood of his cloak back, showing his hardened face. "This," he said, and bent his head, "is Solstice Future." Morpheus led her toward a black-stone castle, across the small moat, and through the tall doors, transparently, like ghosts. Xena knew it was the home of the God of War, she'd heard him talk about his castle many times.
Inside, it was warmer than it looked on the outside, which Xena thought was perfect, it fit Ares well. Red candles burned from holders along the wall. They drifted down the hall, into the living quarters, where an orange fire burnt in the hearth. Three children sat around the fireplace, with gifts in their hands. Xena could tell by the lips and eyes of those children, that they belonged to Ares. Two twin boys. One girl, she was the oldest but they were all under ten.
A stunning woman walked into the room, carrying three boxes, wrapped in shimmering gold paper, silver bows around them. Her hair was light brown, long and pulled up away from her pretty face. She wore a green gown, which looked like sleep clothes. She wasn't too dainty, nor too edgy. Strong but feminine. Youthful but mature. She looked like the type of woman that wouldn't bring a fight to anyone but yet, still one that could hold her own if one was brought to her. There was something about her that Xena, oddly but instantly liked.
Then, Ares entered the room and Xena's breath stopped for a moment, like always. He looked casual, relaxed and happy. He was not wearing his vest and leather. Instead, he had on a black silk shirt with long sleeves and loose, matching trousers. Fine sleepwear, the kind he told Xena about in her youth, when he tried to impress her with the finer life of divinity.
She shivered at the few curls on his chest that peeked from the low-cut of his silky onyx shirt. He plopped in a plush chair, and looked at the children. "Happy Solstice."
"Happy Solstice, Daddy!" they cheered in unison.
"Ares has a family? In the future?" she gulped. Goosebumbs rushed over her skin, she felt faint.
"Yes," Morpheus confirmed. "You got your wish, Xena. He finally gave up on you and moved on. Just like you wanted." He pointed back to the family solstice scene in front of the fireplace. "Aren't you happy?"
Xena did not answer him, she looked away, back to Ares and fought the tears that filled her eyes. The children gave him their boxes. His wife placed her boxes in the floor, beside the children. She sat in Ares' lap, in the huge chair. There was so much harmony in the air, and Ares seemed to enjoy it, to relish it. Xena did not know this man, he was not the menacing war god that she'd always known him to be. He was a husband, a father. He was getting the silly Solstice that he always wanted.
The boys joyfully opened toy soldiers. The girl, took out a wooden doll that looked like Xena. "You gave me your old Xena doll!" she cheered.
"Yeah," he sighed. "I don't need it anymore. You always liked it, so go ahead. Happy Solstice."
"But you love this doll, Daddy. You rarely let me play with it."
"The time for me and Xena has come and gone. She was a phenomenal warrior," he mused. "But she was a sad woman. She denied her heart forever and died a warrior's death in battle. She could've had it all but she chose nothing."
Xena watched him talk about her, seeing that the spark was gone. That old look on his face was no more. He was really and truly over her. He had moved on. "Well, enough about my old girlfriend," he chuckled, "I'd rather talk about my new girlfriend." He playfully slapped their mother on the side of her curvy hip, near her butt.
"Wife," she softly reminded.
He raised his eyebrows. "Oh, yes. I know. Even better. A wife is always better than a girlfriend." He kissed her slowly, with adoration.
"Yucky!" the boys yelled.
"Gross," his daughter huffed.
Xena turned away. "Get me out of here, this is the worst feeling I've ever felt, I'm sick. It's like death. It hurts, Morpheus," she begged, her voice vulnerable. "Get me out of here. I hate this!"
"But why?" he taunted. "I thought you wanted this? For him to go away, you've told him this countless times. And he has. So, what's the problem?"
She glared at him, her eyes icy and mean. "I love that miserable bastard over there," she said, pointing to Ares. "And you KNOW it!"
"Yes," he agreed. "I know it. But the question is, what do you want to come of it? This?" he gestured back to Ares and his wife, with their children. Instantly, the woman turned into Xena, wearing the same green gown. The kids morphed into their offspring. She looked at the children, with their strong jawlines, pouty lips, and sky-blue eyes. But then, in a flash, they changed back to the original family. Morpheus giggled, deviously. "As if you'll ever allow that to happen! Here is Ares' true future." She trembled as she watched the woman kiss her man.
"And here's yours!" They zapped to Lyceus' tomb. Xena saw her own ashes, sitting on top. Finally, at peace, was written on the vase, absolutely the quillwork of Gabrielle.
"No!" Xena snarled. "No!" Her shouts were louder than Morpheus' laughter. She closed her eyes, no longer able to bear the sights.
And the world went quiet. Then, she woke up.
The wind was cold, Gabrielle's snores were loud again. The fire had already burned down. But how was that possible? Was it all a dream? It didn't matter, Xena felt her mortality like never before. She yearned for Ares, she needed to see him.
She built the fire back up, to warm her sleeping companion, then walked off into those dark woods, the same ones where she had mocked Ares, years before.
"Ares!" she called out, her breath blew hard into clouds of coldness. Her heart pumped for him. Her bones ached, her body yearned for the god of war like never before.
A flash of brilliance illuminated the darkness as Ares appeared, only a few feet in front of her. A sexy smirk was on his face. She didn't say a word as she rushed to him and took his scruffy face into her hands. "Miss me?" he asked, shocked but trying to play it off.
"Yes," she whispered, the truth on her tongue. "Yes." She moved her mouth over his, her need grew stronger with every taste of him. Ares pulled her close and kissed her for several minutes, without questions or remarks. No words passed between them. Yet, a primal conversation was going on between the former lovers, one that needed no articulation.
But eventually, words had to be said. She stepped back, her foggy breath danced in the moonlight, casting a think veil over his freshly-kissed mouth. "Ares, we've been playing this cat and mouse game," she started, "for years."
"Isn't that my line?" he asked playfully, yet still intently focused on her worried face.
She smiled, thankful that he was with her, thankful that nightmare was not reality. "I supposed so," she agreed. Her face turned serious again, yet hope shined in her eyes. "Take me to a Solstice celebration. I wanna go somewhere, just any town will do. Let's celebrate the season."
He raised one eyebrow. "I thought you hated Solstice…"
"I did," she confirmed. "But we've both grown since those days, those dark, cold days." She took his big hand and pressed it to her heart. "Remember these woods? Where you once asked me…"
"I remember," he cut her off.
"It wasn't really a test, was it? You really wanted to go."
He looked down to the ground, then away, then back to her face. "Yes."
"Then, let's go." She smiled, showing her porcelain teeth.
A grin pushed over his features until his smile was as wide as hers. "Us? Celebrating Solstice? Together?"
"It's a start," she mumbled.
"I was just doing that, actually," he confessed. "When you summoned me. I was with Bliss. I took him to Cupid, then bam, I was here."
She nodded, knowingly. "Well, I'm glad you had fun with your family. Are you ready for a midnight stroll with me?"
"A romantic stroll, with my Solstice Queen, um, yes. I'm ready."
She shuttered at his reference. There really was still time to be his Solstice Queen. It was not too late after all.
THE END
