Dear Bruce,
I've tried writing this over a dozen times. The words... They just won't come out.
It's funny, really. Put me on a mission, and I'm never short for words. But when I need to speak for myself, I draw a blank.
Feelings aren't my strong point, talking about them even less so.
This isn't easy for me to admit.
But, I owe you an explanation.
Whatever's to come in the future, you'll survive. I know that.
I probably won't.
You deserve an explanation. I don't want you to question my decisions, or your own.
So, I'm writing it out, so that you'll know the truth.
Please forgive me.
There aren't many people who know the true me, who I've felt comfortable enough around to let in. I'm not good at that.
What I am good at, is getting into other people's heads. Not like Wanda, there's no magic involved with me. I know how to use a person's thoughts and desires against them.
I knew you wanted to leave, to have a 'normal' life, including a chance at a relationship.
But the Avengers needed the Hulk.
It was a simple calculation, really. I convince you that I care for you, can look after you, and you stay around and help us.
And everyone wins. Except me.
The Hulk protected you. He always has. He saw, he knew what I was doing to you, and he saved you.
I could've not told him about the stealth mode. But you deserve a chance to be happy. And if I left with you, I'd just remind you of what we left behind.
I couldn't do that to you.
You deserve... You know, no. I'm done trying to know people better than they know themselves. It's worked in the past, when I don't remain with the people.
But this group, knowing you all, and not trying to kill you at the end. That's just not who I am. Not yet, anyway. And now, I may never get there.
I appreciate our time together, but I don't want you to dwell on it.
Please, you will find a place in this world. But that place is not with me.
Please forgive me.
N.R.
Natasha put down the Starkpad that she had used to compose the letter.
"JARVIS, can you make sure that only Doctor Banner can read that file?"
"Of course, Agent."
Natasha smiled briefly. JARVIS was still not completely rebuilt after Ultron.
But then, neither am I.
"Thank you."
"My pleasure, Agent."
Natasha rubbed her eyes, before climbing into the bed.
Have I done the right thing? Will he ever read it?
Dozens of questions rolled around her head as she attempted to sleep, but one continued to come to the front of her mind.
Was what I wrote even true?
A/N.
So, I saw AoU again, and had this thought while watching.
Would you like to see Bruce's reaction? Is this too out of character for Natasha?
Let me know.
Thank you for reading, & have a nice day :)
