Rita's Quill
Otherwise known as: why Gilderoy Lockhart never lets Rita Skeeter interview him.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. If I did that would be awesome, but I don't.
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Gilderoy Lockhart has been told many a time that Rita Skeeter's way of writing could be, in a Muggle's mind, considered yellow journalism. It is inaccurate, exaggerated, etc. etc. He doesn't believe a word of it. And he simply cannot refuse when the woman asks to interview him. It is simply impolite to hold back the tales of his marvelous journeys and encounters from the public. It would be simply horrid of him to do that to them. No, he most definitely must take this request.
They meet on Friday at noon in Diagon Alley, in a little cafe. Rita Skeeter sucks on her Quick Notes Quill while Lockhart signs a few photos for her, along with a full collection of his books. He finds it positively ghastly that she hasn't read them yet. He assures her that she simply has not lived until she has read these books, and stacks them beside her as she sets her quill upright, poised against a fresh sheet of parchment.
And so they talk. Rita asks the typical questions one must ask a great wizard when interviewing him, and Lockhart responds with as much enthusiasm as he can to these trivial, yet needed questions. They move on to much better subjects. They agree that it is simply tragic that Lockhart's hand gets so tired from signing all these autographs, and although he absolutely adores the fact that his fans want to be like him, when they try to, they just can't get his signature quite on point, or their hair to go in the exact same waves as his. He elaborates on his invention of the occamy egg-yolk shampoo, and Rita seems simply agonized that it is not allowed to be sold(apparently it was dangerous. When he'd rolled his eyes and squirted some of it on the evaluator's hair, the man had caught on fire and thrown Lockhart out, even though he had insisted that the fire was the only way to create the particular shine and texture of his golden locks). Gilderoy walks away from his interview elated. He is sure that Rita will have a shining report on him in the following day's Daily Prophet.
Which is why, when he sees the article on Saturday, he begins to feel simply faint. It categorizes his aura as overconfident and quite strange(are people that prejudiced towards occamy egg yolk?), and says, among other things, that he is stuck up in the clouds, with far fetched tales that were impossible to be true. He is simply devastated. He'd given the woman multiple autographs, his books, and even a copy of the picture that had won him one of his five Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Awards, and to have her betray him like this was absolutely uncalled for! What was he to do?
He is simply woebegone for days, when, at last, the thing to clear his worries and bring back his reputation knocks on his very door. Albus Dumbledore requests that he teach at Hogwarts, the very school that he was taught at! What a wonderful chance! Yes, yes, this would fix everything. All he had to do was be the very charming, alluring person he always was. Problem solved!
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So. Thoughts?
