A/N. I debated long and hard about whether I wanted to commit to a story that will probably turn out to be longer than my others - especially because some other wonderful stories have already been put out there and I am truly enjoying reading them. Yet, as you all were, I was touched by the finale and need the catharsis of writing my own vision of how the Shamy break will work out.
Please let me know if you think this vision and story is worth pursuing.
Sheldon closed his laptop, barely able to process what he had just heard. Could things get any worse?
In the two weeks that he had been on this "break" with Amy, Sheldon had been trying to distract himself with work and video games. By occupying his mind, he tried to keep all the infernal questions at bay: What is Amy doing now? What is she thinking? Is she okay? Does she miss me as much as I miss her? Are we broken up? Will this hell ever end?
So far he had been holding it together – barely. But this? This news broke open the floodgates of Sheldon's carefully dammed emotions. He laid his head down on his desk and wept, fearful for all that he was losing.
MeeMaw had had a heart attack. She was very fragile and it was unclear if she would survive. He needed to go to Texas right away.
But…the last time he had talked to MeeMaw a couple of months ago, he had promised her that the next time he came to Texas he would bring Amy to meet her. He remembered the conversation so well.
MeeMaw, I have made an important decision about Amy. I believe that it is time that she and I alter our current paradigm for the more legally binding one that society dictates.
Moon Pie, honey –that's some high fallutin' words. Are you saying that you want to marry Amy?!
Yes, MeeMaw. I've been thinking about it for some time now and I believe that I am ready to make that commitment.
Do you really love her, Moon Pie? Big and wide?
Yes, MeeMaw, I do. I really do.
MeeMaw had insisted that he use the engagement ring that his grandfather had given her so many years ago. She had told him that she would send it out right away and she had made him promise that he would bring Amy to meet her in person as soon as the ring was on her finger.
When the ring had arrived, Sheldon tucked it away in his desk drawer, trying to decide when the perfect time to ask her would be. And there had never been any doubt in his mind that Amy would be thrilled and would enthusiastically agree with any proposal he made.
Guess I counted my chickens before they were hatched.
Sheldon opened his desk drawer and pulled the ring box out. Rubbing his thumb over the velvety surface, he thought carefully for a few minutes while he worked to calm his ragged breathing. Did he dare? He needed to make his travel arrangements immediately, and maybe, just maybe, he could keep his promise to his MeeMaw.
Sheldon placed the ring in his pants pocket, opened his laptop, and activated Skype.
Please pick up. Please pick up. Oh, please pick… "Sheldon."
"Hello, Amy." Sheldon's heart leapt at seeing her for the first time in so long.
"Sheldon, why are you calling? I asked for a break and that means that all required communication between us is suspended. If you can't respect my needs in this regard, then I…"
Sheldon drew in a quick breath and interrupted. "Amy, this is an emergency!"
Amy looked skeptical, but paused and sat back. "OK, Sheldon. What is the emergency?"
"Amy," Sheldon took a deep breath and choked it out. "MeeMaw has had a heart attack and they don't think that she will live." Saying it out loud made it that much more real. Tears started to pour down his face again.
Amy's face immediately softened and she raised a hand to touch her computer screen in sympathy. "Oh, Sheldon, I am so very very sorry. She is such a wonderful woman. I loved talking to her when she gave me the recipe for the Christmas cookies. She is so much fun and she loves you so much. She had wonderful stories to tell me about you."
Sheldon nodded his head, eyes downcast, his arms wrapped around his stomach, rocking a little and trying to hold in his anxiety.
"Do you need help making travel arrangements? We can suspend the break so I can take you to the airport. I know Penny and Leonard aren't around."
Sheldon's heart leapt at her caring. She didn't hate him! She had on her "I love you" face. Maybe this would work.
He raised head and looked intently at her. "Come with me," he said quietly.
"Sheldon!"
"Come with me." A little louder.
Amy looked uncertain. "Sheldon, we are on a break. There is so much to sort out. I need to think. I 'm not ready yet."
"Amy, I promised my MeeMaw that she would meet you some day. I need to keep that promise."
"Sheldon," Amy sounded frustrated. "It isn't fair to hold me accountable to a promise you made to someone else without my knowledge."
"Amy, it isn't just that. Please – I… I miss you. I want you with me." Sheldon grasped the ring box in his pocket for courage, but didn't quite have the nerve to look at Amy on the screen. "I… I …. I need you."
"There, I said it – please don't make me say it again." He chanced a glance at Amy. She looked shocked, her mouth open in astonishment.
Sheldon pressed his advantage. "Amy, you can still think. I'll give you space. But you'll also be able to ask me questions and see how important you are to me. I've had time to think too and I'll answer your questions openly and honestly. As scientists, we need all the facts and data to make valid, informed decisions – you are always so careful about your research. Allow me this."
Amy was still quiet. She had that little scrunched-up wrinkle that she got on her forehead when she was thinking hard.
"Amy, you are important. Please." Sheldon stared at her with all the intensity that he could muster, trying to pour love into every word. "Come with me."
Amy let out a shaky breath. "Okay."
Amy closed her laptop in shock. Had she really just told Sheldon that she would travel with him to Texas? She never could resist those blue eyes when they looked so forcefully at her.
Perhaps it was for the best. After all, what had she figured out in her two weeks without Sheldon? She had learned three new sad songs on her harp. She had discovered that spaghetti with hot dogs tasted disgusting when Sheldon wasn't there to eat it with her. And she had realized that she missed him terribly.
But none of that solved the problem with their relationship. Amy had assumed that when they had admitted their love to each other, everything would change. They would begin to grow closer, they would make plans together – they would become more intimate. And, by "intimate", she didn't just mean "coitus", darn it all! She wanted them to give more energy and feeling to their relationship.
But that didn't happen, did it? Sheldon spent more time and energy embracing his relationship with Leonard than with her! Amy still remembered a month or so ago coming out of a store dressing room with Penny to find Sheldon in tears talking about his deep friendship with Leonard and negotiating frantically to keep Leonard living in the apartment for as long as possible. And then there was the time that Leonard had surgery – Sheldon went off the deep-end with his caring and concern for Leonard. He even bought them matching funeral urns, for God's sake!
She honestly didn't begrudge Sheldon his deep caring for his best friend – after all, Amy loved her own bestie absolutely. But why didn't Sheldon show that same passion for her that he did for Leonard's friendship? At least, shouldn't she rate higher than a new TV show, even if it was about the Flash?
She believed Sheldon when he said that he loved her. However, if this was all the passion and attention she would get, was it enough? Could she settle into whatever compartment Sheldon slotted her and stay there, bound by his regulations, accepting whatever pieces of affection and attention that he chose to dole out?
She was starting to get angry again and that wasn't helpful at all right now. In all honesty, she had already made some tentative decisions – as much as she loved Sheldon, she couldn't take being a second-rate citizen in his world any longer. But maybe Sheldon was right – they had to be together to see how things really are. And Sheldon promised to be honest and forthcoming. Look at what he had already said that he had never admitted to before! Maybe some time together now would help her make any final decisions.
It was time to go pack.
Another A/N - I typically update stories twice a week. However, I am going away for my son's college graduation, so the first update will be slower in coming. It will be more regular after that.
