I miss you.

Yesterday I could swear I heard you call my name. I stopped in my tracks, head craning on my neck, ignorant of the people swarming around me. I peered through the crowds, desperate for just a glimpse of you. All I saw were unknown faces. There was no sign of you, just the empty echoes resounding in the corners of my heart.

I made my way home in a daze. It seems that you were with me for every step I took, hand warm on my shoulder. The warmth disappeared the moment I stepped through the door of my small apartment; instead I was left with the cold ache I've lived with for so long. For a moment I was tempted to turn around, to continue walking until I could go no further, all to have that warmth back again. I didn't give into my impulse. I carefully closed the door behind me, trapping myself into my private hell.

You'd think that after six years, I'd stop turning to you to share a laugh or make a comment on something I'd seen today. You'd think that I'd stop straining my ears for the sound of your tread on the stairs, for the sound of your breathing in the night.

Last night I woke with tears wetting my cheeks, arms reaching out for you. Of course you weren't there. You never are. I lay there in the darkness, cursing the fact that I still live even after my heart has stopped beating.

I move through my days like a ghost, drifting from home to work and then back again. It's almost as if an invisible wall surrounds me, buffering me from the world outside. On the surface I seem unchanged, interacting with co-workers and those who consider themselves to be my friends. But in truth I am locked somewhere deep inside. I'm frozen, unable to reach out to another person for the comfort and companionship every person craves.

Why did you leave?

This was after joe lost his grandfather he was very heartbroken...my poor husben ;'(