Conker did not know how his day could get any worse. He had a horrible hangover to deal with, an evil king hunting him down and, to top it off, he just had to roll giant balls of poo up a mountain His hands were sticky and stinky. Now he was in the middle of a mountain made out of shit.
He was close to contemplating suicide when he heard something. The red squall turned around to see a blue box begin to materialize in front of him. Out of the box stepped a strange looking man.
The Doctor looked around "Well, looks like I might have made a wrong stop. I don't remember Rome looking so brown. Should really go back soon, got to warn those sculptors about the Weeping Angels. They'll be in for quite a surprise if they hammer into one of those monsters!"
The Doctor finally saw the confused Conker. "Oh! Brilliant! A ginger squirrel! I love gingers! And you're a wild animal wearing clothes! That's amazing! Truly amazing! I-" The Doctor stopped his rant and took a long whiff of the air. "What is that horrid smell?"
His question was answered as he and Conker turned to look the pool of feces in front of them. Out of it arose a blob of shit. At first it looked like a bubble but, to both of their horrors, it formed eyes and a mouth.
The blob prepped itself before it began...singing.
"I am the Great Mighty Poo
and I'm going to throw my shit at you.
A huge supply of tish comes from my chocolate starfish.
How about some scat, you little twat?"
The Doctor looked at the singing poo, opened his mouth, but then closed it. He thought for a second before finally saying, "Yeah, no."
The Doctor walked back into the TARDIS, locked it, then vanished.
Conker look at where the blue box had once been, confused about what had just occurred.
"Who the F**k was that?"
He was promptly crushed under a large blob of poo.
This was a long, bad day.
