Disclaimer: Star Trek belongs to Paramount, but all the characters in here are products of my own weird imagination (apart from Lupaza) so don't steal them! :)
Tara Rinelle sighed contentedly. The river was cool and eased her tired feet. An early spring had brought out the blossoms on the trees in the monastery gardens.
"Rin?"
Her eyes shot open and she scrambled to her feet, grinning as her best friend Aron walked through the garden. She hugged him happily.
"How'd it go at the university?"
"Great!" he replied. "I think I definitely got a place."
"Oh, that's great, Aron," Rin beamed. "When will you know for sure?"
"Next Thursday."
"Rinelle."
They turned round to see Tara's boyfriend, Yerin, staring at them.
"Hey," she said, forcing a smile. Aron nodded. Yerin ignored the other boy and kissed Rinelle. She pulled away.
"I haven't seen you for a while."
"I haven't been around," he replied. "Come with me."
"Yerin, I'm in the middle of something here," she pointed out.
"He'll be here tomorrow."
Aron glared at Yerin. Rinelle rolled her eyes and turned to Aron.
"Do you mind?" she asked. He froze, then a split second later forced another smile.
"No. I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Yeah. See you."
Yerin led her into the woods.
"Where are we going?" Rin asked impatiently. "Yerin?"
"Ssh. We'll be there in a minute."
They stopped in front of an old worn down shed.
"What's this?" she asked.
"Come in."
He led her inside. She turned to face him.
"I'm leaving in the morning."
The blunt statement caught her off-guard.
"Where are you going?" she asked.
"To join the Kohn-Ma."
"So… you're not coming back."
"No."
"Why are you leaving?" Rin asked. "The Cardassians have gone, Yerin. We don't have to fight any more."
"But I want to fight. I want to kill every scumbag Cardie I see. I want to make them pay for what they did to Bajor!"
Rin took a step back, annoyed at his anger.
"Well, have fun, Yerin," she said sarcastically. "But don't expect me to wait around for you."
Vedek Mano was strolling through the gardens on his usual morning meditation. His thoughts turned to one of the orphans who had been abandoned at the monastery nearly sixteen years previously. Rinelle was a sweet child, always eager to please, but her closeness to Deltrin Yerin made the Vedek uneasy. He sighed. The child had not had an easy life that was certain. Mano did a double take as he noticed Rin sitting on the bench in front of him. He moved to sit next to her.
"Good morning, Vedek," she whispered.
"Good morning, Rinelle."
They sat in companionable silence for a few more minutes. Mano turned to the girl.
"How are your studies progressing?" he asked.
"Well, I think," she paused, wrinkling her nose ridges, a gesture she was well known for. "Vedek Hylen does not give praise very often, so it's difficult to say. No criticism of the vedek intended."
"Perhaps he fears you will get big-headed," Mano said with a smile. Rin returned the smile.
"Perhaps." Her expression grew serious. "Yerin left."
The vedek nodded.
"You don't look surprised," Rin said.
"I'm not. Deltrin has a lot of anger inside. It was a matter of time before he left to join the Kohn-Ma, Rinelle. It pains me to admit it, but I am glad he is gone."
Rin looked at the ground. "Me too."
Another silence followed.
"The Spring Festival starts next week," Rin said quietly. "This year we'll really get to celebrate it, without the Cardassians getting in the way."
Mano nodded. "And your birthday."
She sighed. "I wish I knew when my real birthday was."
"Maybe you will know one day," he replied, rising to his feet. "I must go back to the assembly now. You should probably get back to class, Rinelle."
She nodded and smiled. "Have a good one, Vedek."
He looked puzzled.
"I mean have a good day, Vedek Mano," she explained. He smiled slightly and walked back to the monastery.
Rin stretched and stood up. Time for class, she thought wearily. As she made her way towards the small schoolroom, her thoughts turned to her parents. What would her life be like, she mused, if she had known them? Her mother had abandoned her on the doorstep of the monastery when she was a few days old with her given name printed on the piece of cloth covering her. No family name. No clue about her heritage. Rin squared her shoulders. She had done well without them. She loved Vedek Mano and if she was forced to admit it she loved Vedek Hylen as well. Well, when he was in a good mood. She didn't see much of the monks or the other vedek, a solitary old man named Obek. They kept to themselves and so did Rinelle, for the most part.
She arrived outside the classroom door and turned the ancient wooden handle. Vedek Hylen had already started the lesson and glared at her.
"Sorry, Vedek," she mumbled.
"Sit down, Tara."
She obeyed and found a seat next to Aron in the back row. She rolled her eyes at him when Hylen turned his back. Aron grinned and drew a silly caricature of him on the back of his paper. Tara giggled and the vedek turned round sharply. She immediately straightened her face. He stalked over to their desk and picked up the piece of paper. Unfolding it, he came across the drawing. He crumpled it up.
"Tara, Jered, stay behind after class, please."
"Yes, Vedek," they replied meekly.
Rin and Aron walked out of the school room, giggling.
"Hey, what do you want for your birthday next week?" Aron asked suddenly.
She shrugged. "Surprise me."
"You say that every year. Do you make my life deliberately difficult?" he asked ruffling her hair.
"Quit it!" she said, pushing him away. "Yes, Aron. I deliberately make your life difficult because that's the only thing to do round here."
He smiled. "Don't pretend. You love it here."
"I know."
"I can just imagine you still here in 70 years, an ancient old recluse like Vedek Obek."
"Yeah. I can see it all now," she said elbowing him in the ribs.
"Want to go into town?"
"Sure."
They walked out of the monastery grounds.
"So… where's Yerin?" Aron asked uncomfortably.
"He left," Rin replied.
"He left?" Aron echoed.
"Yep. Go on, you can do your celebration dance now."
"Where'd he go?" he asked ignoring the jibe.
"He didn't say exactly where he was going."
"I take it you're not seeing him any more then?"
Rin shook her head.
"Rin," he said hesitantly.
She looked up at him. "What?"
"Did you ever… did you two ever have …"
"Sex?"
Aron nodded, embarrassed. She smiled at his discomfort.
"Why do you want to know?" she teased.
"Because… forget it. I shouldn't have asked."
He walked a little quicker, avoiding her gaze. She caught up with him.
"For your information, Mr Jered," she said doing a spot-on imitation of Vedek Hylen. He smiled.
"We did."
His smile froze. "Oh."
She pulled a face. "Its nothing to write home about. I kind of wish we hadn't actually. He wanted to, I just wanted to make him happy with me."
"That doesn't sound like much of a relationship," he commented.
"It wasn't," she agreed. "Like I said to Vedek Mano this morning, I'm glad he's gone."
Rin woke up on her 16th birthday smiling. At breakfast, Vedek Mano presented her with a small box. Rin hugged the surprised man and opened the box. Nestled inside was a delicate bracelet with little charms hanging from it, each containing a hologram of Rin at various stages in her life in the monastery. She hugged Mano again.
"It's beautiful, thank you," she said, putting it on.
"It's from all of us here at the monastery. A special treat for your 16th birthday," he replied.
Vedek Hylen had smiled and offered a prayer on her behalf. Rin hugged him too.
Aron came to the monastery for his afternoon class and handed her a bunch of flowers and a flat rectangle covered with a cloth. She untied the bow and pulled the cloth off, grinning. When she saw the painting she gasped.
It was a portrait of the two of them sitting at the river in the monastery gardens, laughing.
"Did you paint this?" she whispered.
He nodded. "Do you like it?"
"It's amazing!" she said. "How long did this take you?"
"That's for me to know and you to wonder," he teased. She kissed him on the cheek and he hugged her.
"Did the university tell you if you have a place yet?" she asked.
"They haven't contacted me yet," he lied. "I'm starting to think I congratulated myself too early."
She shook her head. "They can't not accept you. If they don't I'll march there myself and show them this."
"You would as well."
"Too right I would."
"Tara Rinelle!"
She turned round to see Vedek Obek standing in the doorway behind them.
"Come with me," he said.
Aron started to follow her out. Obek laid a hand on his arm.
"You must stay. Tara must go alone."
Obek led Tara into a hall filled with burning incense and candles. At the end of the room sat an Orb. Rinelle gasped.
"The Orb of Prophecy and Change," the Vedek stated. "Come, child. It is time."
Aron waited outside for Rin. Mano came and sat down beside him.
"Is Rin in trouble?" Aron asked.
"No. Well, not yet at least," he replied, chuckling. "She was telling me you were going to university to study art."
Aron's shoulders slumped. "I thought I was. I didn't get accepted."
"Maybe the Prophets are trying to tell you something."
"I don't believe in the Prophets, with all due respect, Vedek Mano."
"Hm. Well, young man, if you don't believe in the Prophets, what do you believe in?"
"I…" he trailed off. The vedek nodded slowly.
"That's what I thought. If you ever want to know more about the Prophets or the prophecies, come and ask me. Who knows, you might be a vedek one day," he replied with a twinkle in his eye. Aron smiled.
"Maybe."
Aron didn't see Rin again until the spring dance two nights later. He grabbed her arm between the dances.
"Hey!" he shouted over the music. She shook him off.
"Hey," she replied.
"What happened to you on your birthday? You disappeared after Vedek Obek-"
"I don't want to talk about it," she said shortly.
"Rin, what's wrong?" he asked puzzled. "Have I done something?"
"No," she sighed. "Vedek Obek took me to the forbidden room. It has an Orb. I-I had a vision."
"A vision?" he repeated.
"Look, I know you don't believe in this stuff, that's why I didn't want to talk about it with you."
"You can still talk to me, Rin," he said, a hurt expression on his face. "Just because I don't believe, doesn't mean I can't understand."
She sighed and held out her hand as the next dance started. "Dance first?"
"You saw your mother?"
Rin nodded.
"How did you know it was your mother?" Aron asked.
"I don't know. I just knew."
"What did she say?"
"I don't think we're supposed to talk about orb visions, Aron."
"Are you going to try and find her?"
"No. I don't want to know her. Anyway she could be dead, she was a resistance fighter."
"Why don't you want to know her?"
"She abandoned me, Aron!" Rin cried. "She left me on the monastery steps and hasn't been in touch since.""Rin, if she was in resistance then she probably did it for your safety," Aron pointed out. "It could have been too difficult for her to visit."
Rin shrugged. "I don't care. I've done fine without her so far."
"What about your father?"
"What about him?"
"Did you see him in the vision?"
"No."
"Do you want to know him?"
She shrugged. "He might not even know I exist."
They sat on the floor in silence for a moment before Rin spoke up again.
"Do you miss your family?" she asked softly.
"Every day," he replied.
"Vedek!"
Mano turned round to see Rinelle running after him.
"What is it, child?" he asked urgently. "Is something wrong?"
"Who named me?"
Mano's shoulders slumped. "Who named you?"
She nodded.
"Your mother named you."
"I mean my family name. Who called me Tara?" Rinelle asked.
"Oh. Well, em, I did, Rinelle."
She smiled. "You named me? How did you choose Tara?"
"Can we discuss this later? I have an assembly to get to."
"Sure. I'll see you later, Vedek."
"Have a nice one," he said grinning.
"It's 'have a good one'," Rin replied rolling her eyes at him.
Rin found Mano digging outside three days later. He groaned when he spotted her.
"I'm not getting any younger you know," he said wiping sweat off his brow. "I suppose you want me to tell you how I chose your name, hmm?"
She smiled and they sat on the ground.
"I used to know a woman, years and years ago when I was still just a young man. We lived in the same village during the occupation and we grew up together. We fell in love and were soon engaged to be married."
Mano cleared his throat. "However, before the wedding ceremony could take place the Cardassians raided the village and…"
He trailed off and closed his eyes. "My fiancée was a very beautiful woman, Rinelle. The Gul in charge of the Order spotted her and took a shine to her. I never saw her again…"
Rin placed a hand gently on his arm. "What was her name, Vedek?"
He looked straight into her eyes.
"Tara Rinelle," he whispered. "When your mother handed you to me and told me your name, I-"
"My mother gave you to me?" Rinelle asked. She frowned. "But you told me she left me outside."
"Child, your mother…" he trailed off and sighed. "She cared for you more than you think."
"That's not hard," she spat. "Why did you lie to me, Vedek?"
"Because I knew you would pester me about your mother and then go out on some wild goose chase to go and find her," Mano replied quietly. "You did anyway."
"I didn't leave to find my mother!" Rinelle shouted. "I left to find the resistance!"
Rain crashed down on the little girl as she lay helplessly in the road. Thunder and lightning lit up the sky. Rinelle was barely conscious, only aware of the rain lashing into her and the sound of a transport flying past. It stopped. Rinelle felt herself being lifted up in a pair of strong arms and carried away. A moment later she was placed inside the transport. Rinelle opened her eyes. A Cardassian was scanning her with something; a metal device she'd never seen before. He noticed she was awake.
"Where do you come from, little girl?" he asked in broken Bajoran.
"D'jana Monastery," she managed to croak. She lost consciousness.
She came round again as the Cardassian lifted her up and she felt the rain hit her body again. He was knocking on the door. It opened…
She was being passed into familiar arms… a familiar voice… Vedek Mano. She buried her face in his robes. He was soothing her gently, wrapping her in a blanket and setting her down next to the fire. Strength was slowly starting to return to her exhausted limbs.
"Vedek," she sobbed hoarsely.
"Don't try and speak, child," Mano whispered. "You're very ill. You're going to need all your strength."
He dried her dirty red hair and brushed it back from her forehead gently. She fell in and out of sleep for four more days. Mano never left her side for more than five minutes during all that time, singing, praying, telling stories.
"How do you know my mother cared for me?"
"She had you," Mano pointed out. "She could have chosen not to. And she gave you to me instead of leaving you to die or taking you with her to the mountains where you most certainly would have died. Rinelle, she gave you up so that you could live."
"I am sorry I ran away," Rinelle whispered.
"I forgave you a long time ago, child." Mano sighed. "But I don't think I could ever forgive myself for what happened eight years later."
"Vedek, what happened…that wasn't your fault."
Rinelle looked up worriedly as the banging on the door continued. Vedek Obek turned to Mano.
"Keep the child out of sight," he ordered.
Mano nodded and Rinelle was ushered out of the room to the cellar.
"Do not come back up until I or one of the other Vedeks calls you," he instructed. "Do you understand me, Rinelle?"
"What's going on, Vedek?" she asked.
"I do not know," he said helplessly. "Stay out of sight and don't make a sound."
He disappeared back up the stairs and nodded to Vedek Obek. He opened the door and was immediately pushed aside by a large imposing Cardassian Gul. Four more soldiers followed him in.
"I am Gul Keblar!" he announced. "The Cardassian Union has reason to believe you may be hiding resistance members here."
"I can assure you, Gul, that-"
"Your assurances, Vedek," he spat. "Mean nothing to me."
He turned to his men. "Begin searching. If anyone interferes…" He grinned nastily. "Shoot them."
Vedek Obek tried to step in once more.
"Sir, I must protest-"
He was silenced by a powerful punch in the face. He stumbled back against the wall. Keblar roared with laughter.
"Be quiet, old man. There's nothing you can do. By the end of the night this building will be ashes."
He spat on the floor then marched into the study used by Vedek Obek. Keblar sat down on the chair and put his feet up on the desk, knocking over a small glass sculpture as he did so. It smashed on impact.
"Of course, I could be persuaded to change my mind," he said, a dangerous gleam showing in his eyes. Mano swallowed.
"How?" he whispered. Keblar smiled.
"You must have at least one female monk somewhere in this hole."
Mano shook his head.
"Come now, Vedek," Keblar chided. "Now is not the time to be noble. Where is she?"
"Who, Gul Keblar?"
"The girl you are hiding."
Mano remained silent. Keblar sighed.
"We don't seem to be communicating, Vedek. I'll ask you once more. Where is she?"
"Here."
Mano whirled round. Rinelle was standing defiantly in the doorway. Horror flooded his veins. The glint was back in Keblar's eyes. He stood up and stalked over to Rinelle. He grasped her chin tightly and laughed.
"I can see why you hid her, Vedek," he cackled. Rinelle shook him off.
Rinelle shook her head. Where were all these memories coming from today? She cleared her throat.
"I don't see how any of that was your fault, Vedek."
"I should have locked you in, hidden you somewhere safer."
"Vedek, I came out of my own free will. It was my choice."
"I shouldn't have allowed him to do that to you…"
"You didn't! His men beat you senseless because you tried to stop him!" Rinelle cried.
The vedek shook his head sorrowfully. "But it wasn't enough."
"Holdin' onto my baby tonight," Rinelle sang quietly. She hauled herself up to her feet and winced as pain shot up her back. Surveying her handiwork, she smiled happily. The flowers were perfect. He hand crept down to her slightly rounded abdomen. She sighed.
"You should be a gardener."
Rin spun round. Standing a few metres away was a red-haired woman, somewhere in her early forties. Rin tried to regain her composure.
"Thank you," she replied. "Are you looking for someone?"
The woman nodded. "A family member. How long have you worked here?"
"Oh I don't work here, I live here. Tara Rinelle."
They shook hands.
"Lupaza Anisu."
Rin stared at the woman for a moment.
"Have we met before? You remind me of someone…"
Lupaza's face darkened suddenly.
"No. No we haven't. I have to go now. Goodbye."
As Lupaza turned to leave, Rinelle gasped.
"You're my mother."
The woman whirled round. "No! No I'm not, you've mistaken me for someone else!"
She started to run away.
"Wait!"
As Rin ran into the woods, she was grabbed from behind and whirled round. Keblar grinned evilly down at her.
"Running away from your destiny cannot protect you anymore," he whispered and pushed her back against a tree.
Rin shot upright in bed. Her heart was pounding and sweat dripped down off her forehead. That was the third time this week that she'd had the same dream. Sighing, Rin swung her legs out of the bed and pulled on a jumper. She made her way quietly into the temple and sat down.
"Tara, what are you doing in here at this time of night?"
Rin stood up and blushed as Vedek Obek walked slowly down the aisle.
"I'm sorry, Vedek," she whispered. "I couldn't sleep."
He smiled. "No apology is necessary, child. I often come here myself during the night. I find it helps me to relax."
Tara smiled as Obek came and sat next to her. After a long silence he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked gently.
"I keep having the same dream, over and over," Rin said hesitantly. "I'm working in the gardens and then my mother appears. We talk for a moment and then I suddenly realise who she is and she runs away from me. When I chase her, G-Gul Keblar appears. He tells me that running away from my destiny won't protect me anymore and then I wake up."
Obek listened in thoughtful silence. "How often have you had this dream, child?"
"Three or four times this week."
"And is there anything else in it?"
"No. Yes. At the start of the dream, I think… I know that I'm pregnant. But by the time Keblar appears… I'm not."
"Do you think maybe that these are memories from years past?" Obek suggested. "Vedek Mano informed me of your … condition shortly after the raid by Keblar's men. But there was no baby, and Mano never mentioned it again to me, nor I to him."
Rin swallowed. "You mean the miscarriage."
Obek nodded.
"I only ever told Vedek Mano that I was pregnant, he supported me but I…" Rin broke off as a tear slid down her cheek, followed by another. "I hated the child growing inside me, I hated the way it was conceived and I hated its father and all Cardassians. I didn't want a baby, never mind a half-Cardassian one, I was only 14! So I asked Vedek Mano to get me some herbs… but he refused. He said he wouldn't help me to kill an innocent baby. He would raise it as he had raised me if I didn't want it but that I must at least give birth to it."
"Did you agree to this?" Obek asked. Rin nodded.
"Yes, although very reluctantly."
"So what happened?"
"I was out at the market one day and I failed to show the proper respect to a Glinn. He hit me so hard that I miscarried."
Blood. Pain. Rin cried out, sinking to her knees…
She shook her head.
"Is something wrong, Rinelle?"
"It's nothing."
"You're sure?"
"Yes, Vedek."
Obek clasped her ear gently. "You have to learn to let go of the past, Rinelle. It will only consume you otherwise."
"Concentrate on the brushstrokes, Rinelle!" Hylen reminded. Vedek Mano walked into the room and spoke quietly to Hylen. Rin bit back a frustrated sigh and splashed her brush back into the paint forcefully. Aron smiled.
"Get much sleep last night?" he asked sympathetically.
"No," Rin muttered. "And I can't get this painting right!"
She glanced over at his and scowled. "You make it look so easy."
"You make it sound so hard!" Aron replied laughing. "Come on, cheer up."
He poked the tip of her nose with his paintbrush, leaving a pink smear. Tara shrieked indignantly and swiped at him. Mano smiled at the two teenagers while Hylen rolled his eyes.
"How long do you think it will take until one of us is performing their marriage ceremony?" he asked quietly.
Mano shook his head. "However long it takes Rinelle to open her heart to the possibility that someone somewhere could love her."
Aron closed his eyes and breathed in deeply before knocking the door to Vedek Mano's study.
"Come in."
Aron opened the door and stopped. Mano smiled up at him and stood up.
"I'm sorry, Vedek," Aron stammered. "I didn't mean to disturb your prayers, I'll come back later."
"No, no. Come in, Jered. Sit down."
Aron sank down into the chair opposite Mano's desk and cleared his throat.
"I take it you're not here to take me up on my offer and join the monastery?"
Aron smiled slightly. "No, sir."
Mano waited patiently for the boy to explain.
"It's about Rinelle," Aron sighed.
"You love her."
Aron stared at him. "Is it that obvious?"
Mano chuckled. "Only to old men with nothing better to do with their time than watch other people."
"I don't know what to do," Aron admitted softly. "I want to tell her how I feel, but if she doesn't feel the same way then I'll just embarrass myself and everything will be awkward between us."
"Well, it pleases me to see that at last a good, hard-working boy has taken interest in Rinelle."
"Even though I don't share your beliefs and I got rejected from university?" Aron asked, smiling weakly.
"Rinelle was disappointed for you, she worked herself up into quite a rage," Mano replied, chuckling at the memory. "But, in my personal opinion, she was also very relieved."
"Relieved?"
"That you weren't moving away from her," Mano replied looking him squarely in the eyes. "The university is in the capital city. Rinelle realised she would hardly see you if you got accepted."
Aron nodded. "It was bothering me too."
"Then it was for the best that you didn't get accepted," Mano said gently. "As I said before, maybe the Prophets are trying to tell you something."
"Like what?"
Mano smiled. "You'll see."
Aron left the Vedek's office, confused and frustrated, and made his way down to the river. To his surprise, Rinelle was already there. He sat down beside her.
"Hey," he said quietly. "I wasn't expecting you to be here at this time. I thought you had a class?"
There was a long silence. Aron glanced at his friend. She was hunched up, her face was pale and she was chewing agitatedly on her thumb nail.
"Is everything alright?" he asked. She nodded.
"Sure. Why wouldn't it be?" she asked.
"You look terrible."
"Thanks."A tear escaped down her cheek. Aron was starting to get alarmed.
"Rin, tell me what's wrong."
"You'll hate me," she whispered.
He tilted her head up, forcing her to look him in the eye.
"Never," he said firmly. "Now tell me."
Rin burst into tears. "I'm pregnant."
