Loneliness.
By its very definition it means affected with, characterized by, or causing a depressing feeling of being alone; lonesome. destitute of sympathetic or friendly companionship.
But loneliness means so much more, it can be the difference between being alive and merely existing. But to a wolf, it practically carries with it a death sentence. So most of them avoid it by being in a pack.
But by being alone, you carry the weight of the world.
That is what I was doing, carrying the weight of the world. But now I have my pack. But its not without its difficulties.
