A/N - I couldn't stop thinking about this scene from 3x11. I wanted to get in Stefan's head a bit...Thanks to my bad ass beta jkane180 because I need her for just 800 words apparently...


"How could you do that to me, Stefan?" Elena wrapped her arms around her middle, trying to hold herself together.

Stefan stood frozen, unable to turn from the scene in front of him, while his emotions waged a war inside him. The bitter resentment that had built a home within him had consumed and taken over while constantly pushed away any sort of empathy that tried to enter. The love he felt for her was buried so deep, his conscious mind had no idea where it was or how to access it. But as he watched Elena's grief, there was a tingling sensation that picked at his heart, causing him to feel.

Stefan didn't want to feel. He tried to reach for the comfort of his anger and bitterness. "Look, Elena, Klaus had to believe I would do it. He needed to hear your fear," he said to her coldly.

"But what if he hadn't"? Her voice shook as she tried to speak between the sobs.

"He did!"

"But what if he didn't?" Elena was now looking up and shouting at him.

His face hardened, and he put more bass in his voice, "He did Elena! He backed down! He has a weakness. If I know his weakness, I can destroy him!

Elena couldn't take it anymore. The weight of her emotions crashed into her full force, and she crumbled to the ground. "You know what this place means to me Stefan. You know my parents died here...that Ialmost died here. Does destroying Klaus really mean more to you than I ever did?"

There was a gripping sensation tightening his chest. He could literally feel the love he once had for her picking at his dead heart. It was trying to resurrect and take its rightful place within him. He needed to remind himself why he didn't deserve to feel love, why she was no longer a part of his life. "Destroying Klaus is all I have left," he looked down and said to her.

"You had me, Stefan." Her voice was soft and broken.

"I lost you the moment I left town with him. You just haven't let yourself admit it."

Several moments passed without either speaking. Elena's sobs were silent as she sat on the ground staring at the bridge.

"Elena, get in the car, and I'll take you home."

"Just go away Stefan. Just go."

"Look I'm not going to just leave you here. Get in the damn car, or I'll throw you in."

She relented and tried to stand. There was an automatic reaction in Stefan's body to reach out and assist her but he fought it in the last moment and just stood there as it took her several tries to get to her feet.

Elena slowly started to make her way back to the small car and he followed behind. There was a falter in her step and her knees began to buckle. A hoarse whisper left her lips. "Mom..." Her body twisted and she turned back to the bridge as she started to fall. This time Stefan didn't have time to contemplate; his arms shot out on their own accord and caught her. He easily picked her up and carried her back to the car. He didn't say a word as he put her in the seat and closed the door.

He fought with himself the entire drive to her house. He had believed that the old him was gone and buried, but hearing her call out for her dead mother and witnessing her breakdown had stirred something inside him. As she sat there and cried, he started to question whether he could actually get back to that place. Something inside him wanted to comfort her. He wanted to take away the pain that he caused. But would that give her false hope?

Damon was waiting on the porch when Stefan pulled up and immediately flew down the stairs and to Elena's door. He looked at Stefan with nothing but disgust as he pulled her into his arms. Stefan watched as Elena's arms tightened around Damon's neck and she buried her face in his chest. A strangled moan escaped her mouth, and she said Damon's name like he was her salvation.

Stefan realized then that his old life was lost forever. He drove away, and for the first time in a long time, it wasn't bitterness and thoughts of revenge that consumed him; it was guilt and despair. His switch had been flipped back on, but it was too late.