Jacob's Adventure
Chapter 1: What The Heck?
"Oh yeah, Ganondorf going down! Yeah, just pressing the A-button. Do da do da do….Oh yeah, he's tired, cause he's all weak like…woah….yeah, Jump Attack, Great Spin, Back Slice, Shield Attack, Helm Splitter, Great Spin, Ending Blow…Yes! Oh, Midna is alive, oh! She's the Twilight Princess, but I already know since I've beaten the game like 13 times now, oh!" I screamed as I annoyingly played my favorite video game, The Legend of Zelda, Twilight Princess. I was watching the end of the game movies and cut-scenes, when suddenly, I some something different…
"Not this time!" It was Ganondorf!
"How is that possible?" I yelled. "Mom, come and see this! I've played the game like 20 times and it glitched up! And…oh, I forgot." Yeah, I did 'forgot'. I forgot that my mom wasn't home, and she took my younger siblings with her to do the shopping, so it was me, just me, her oldest child, Jacob. That was the reason no one told me to shut up. I was still shocked. Just as Link was about to get stabbed, I yelled, "No! What is it with this glitch thing? Now Link dies? You're kidding me, right? Don't tell me I'll have to start all over! I mean it! That was such a demand that the exclamation mark does not change the imperative to an exclamatory sentence! I am not even kidding you, Nintendo! I know where Satoru Iwata lives!" I yelled, starting one of my 'nerd rants'.
"Huh?" Ganondorf said. "You, the player! I have you now!" I don't know how it was possible to this very day, but he opened up an 'energy portal' and pushed it out of my TV!
"Oh shit!" I yelled. I tried to escape, but I couldn't get away.
"Yes!" Ganondorf yelled. When Link and Zelda realized the strange thing that was happening, they grabbed their swords and ran over to Ganon, ready to hit. But it was too late. I was in. But that didn't stop them.
"Stay to my left." He said to Zelda. "Jacob, you stay to my right." He said to me.
"You know my name?" I said.
"Yes. It's a long story, but I'm sure we can both agree that the explaining for such an unimportant thing can wait till later?" he finished.
"I do believe so." I replied.
"Here, take the Ordon Sword!"
"Gotcha." Link then gave it to me, and I was extremely excited. I just got pulled into my video game and now I was going to fight Ganondorf alongside Link, The Hero of Time, and Zelda, Princess of Hyrule. Let's see…that, or slushies at Meijer….This. Definitely, this.
"I've seen your moves Link. I think I can pull a few off." I said.
"Oh yeah? Which one?"
"Well, I'll start with this one." I ran faster, jumped in the air, kicked Ganondorf in the face, chopped down his front when I came down, did a spin attack with my legs, thus tripping him, and then just slashed at him like crazy. I got careless though, and he cut my up my left arm. At least it was my left arm, because I'm right hand dominant. I screamed in pain. Good thing Link and Princess Zelda were there, or Ganondorf would have just ended my life. I think I had just received my own health level thingy. And, it was pretty much out.
"Damn…" I cursed in pain. Then, I realized it may be a grand offense to curse in front of the princess, but Zelda didn't seem so angry.
Link was busy fighting off Ganondorf while Princess Zelda gave me a blue potion. Wowzuh, it really did give me energy.
"Princess Zelda, do these potions usually prevent cramps?" I asked.
Princess Zelda was curious about why I would ask that but answered, "Yes, they do. Why?"
"I'll need to take one of these suckers before a cross country race." I said. And it's true. I do in fact run cross country, and in the last season won 2 medals. I ran at Ganondorf with my sword ready. Zelda decided to use her bow and some of the light arrows first. Link slashed, I slashed, and Princess Zelda shot an arrow. When he felt all three, Ganondorf screamed. He hit the ground. Link, Princess Zelda, and me too, all attempted an Ending Blow on him. Attempt successful. Ganondorf was finally dead.
"Well, that was fun, but I need to go back through the portal and go home. Mom will bring me back a slushie, so…No!" I yelled in terror. The portal was closing! Link knew how important this was, so he got down on his hands and knees. I ran, jumped on and took a flying leap off of him, and I was flying towards the closing portal.
(Picture the following in slow motion)
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" I screamed as I flew towards the portal. Too late. It closed and I hit the ground! I was stuck here!
"Oww…." I then passed out from the pain I was in from the slash and falling 12 feet.
"Oh boy, Princess. We're going to have some problems now. This kid knows nothing about what Hyrule is like on the inside, and now he's going to be walking all over it. Nice."
"Yes, this bad. A player in the game? How will we fix this?" Princess Zelda said, worried.
"All we can do is try, Princess."
