Damon doesn't know when it happens.

All he can remember is the way her tiny hand feels in the palm of his own (like a life fleeting from his grasp and he wants to hold onto her embarking light with a crushing grip). He remembers the way her eyes looked into his own at the first sign of life returning (cat eyes blinking slowly from a haze, drinking in every detail of their reality).

It is days later he realizes he's been infected. It always starts the same; always a slow building infliction that attacks when he least expects it.

He's in the middle of fixing his drink when he hears her distant voice. And then he feels it. Like a compulsion he cannot be rid of, it sets fire to his ice cold skin and it's a burn he knows all too well (it's Katherine's kisses and Elena's smiles). But the reason for his blazing skin is a slight girl standing in the frame of his foyer, holding a book that looks to be twice her size. Her mouth set in a straight line, he can see she's talking to Stefan and he feels a familiar pang in his chest (but Bonnie's not a doppelgänger and Damon's not so sure he likes this sudden infliction of 'care').

Damon's too taken aback to speak, and Bonnie nods her head in his direction formally. (She is all civility until you offend her) He's not sure if he wants for her to blast him with pain, or throw a curse his way, but he just needs an acknowledgement that is more than a stiff movement of her head.

He needs.

Needs.

Damon's head spins and his drink falls from his hand. It's starting again; a slow spiral that is a descent into a madness he can't climb out of.

Bonnie flips open her spell book, unaware that a blue eyed devil will pull her down with his already drowning weight.