"What If Jaxxon Has Found The Box Of Khyscz?"

A Titanic Tale In The Mighty Marvel Tradition Written By Brooze "The Man" Wane!

It was another typically atypical aka crazy-ass day in the world of Marvel Star Wars, a place unlike any other Star Wars, be it on film, television or at your local Disney-owned amusement park. This was a Star Wars where Jabba The Hut is not a Hutt, but a Hut, and is not a large slug-like creature but rather thin and feline. It is a world where Darth Vader and Anakin Skywalker are, for a time, two different men, and the moment upon Bespin in which it is revealed they are one and the same is not a mere revelation, it is a retcon.

But more, so much more, than any of this, it is the world of our hero (as opposed to a world without heroes). The hero of our tale is Jaxxon, a large, man-sized fellow, who on our Earth, would be considered resemble a giant and green rabbit. He is much like our popular cartoon character, Bugs Bunny, even at one point having battled enemies by the names of Dafi and Fud.

But on this day, Jaxxon was visited by a traveling gypsy, as opposed to all those gypsies that stay put. A blind gypsy called Dizzy The Hun. And Dizzy carried with him a severe warning: The Box Of Khyzscz, a magical item containing four even more magical items had been misplaced upon Tatooine! This box was meant to be found within Detroit Rock City by four young lovers and dreamers and me, to help them realize the potential that had lain dormant in them for all of time! They were to become a Demon, a Star Child, a Cat and a Space Ace, curly. They were to rock not only stadiums 'cross this great island Earth of ours, but to battle Dr. Doom and join Wolverine in doing some cool world-saving stuff. So you can see how serious it was to find the Box Of Khyscz so it might meet its true destiny in the hands of these four flaming youths, rather than be found by some Tuskan Raiders or Jawas or something.

So Dizzy told Jaxxon that he must assist him in locating the box! It was, you see, already being sought by Boba Fett aka that chap in the in the cartoon part of that Christmas thing that was awesome and, of course, that non-Anakin Skywalker evil gentleman known as Darth Vader.

Jaxxon searched moisture farms and cantinas for many days until, at long last, the box was found! Clearly, the right thing to have done would have been to bring it immediately to Dizzy The Hun so that he might bring it to Detroit Rock City, but Jaxxon, being the cartoon rabbit that he was, was never one to immediately do the right thing. He did not listen to the mayor of Do The Right Thing World, just as any cartoon rabbit should. So, instead like Pandora and that woman in the fish part of UHF, he opened the box. And, being just one cartoon rabbit and not four kings of the nighttime world, the powers of all four elements of the Elder overcame him! He breathed fire and controlled beasts and shot magic villain-defeating light out of his eye and moved from place to place quickly with that awesome ZZ Top move! Much like John Hurt in the fourth and best Indiana Jones movie, it was too much for just one cartoon rabbit! He exploded! And not only that, he erased all memory of himself and all the other goofy Marvel Star Wars characters from Luke Skywalker's mind for all time! And that's why the movie Star Wars World is all different now. The end.