Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight I'm just playing


Chapter one. Revelations

I've never viewed my self as spoiled or a brat, but laying here on my bed it is taking all my strength not to jump up, stamp my feet and scream 'its not fair'. I could blame my parents for this, because really this should be out of my system by now. But no instead of stamped feet, thrown hair brushes, screaming matches and hormonal sulkage, I was reserved, sensible with a good head on my shoulders, making sure all was right in the world of Bella and Renée. Don't get me wrong that was me, still is me, that is who I am and you cant change the foundation of ones self and built in programming, I wouldn't want to. Now at 18 my former self is no where to be seen, and that is almost as infuriating as the reason for my proverbial hissy fit in the first place.

Right Bella you are a rational human being you need to think things through. I snort out loud at that one,

I know exactly why iam being a little bitch, my 109 year old moralistic virgin vampire fiancé slipping me the tongue for all of five seconds then freezing up and escaping to hunt, that's fucking why.

But the little twist in my gut and the rational little voice in the back of my head tells me what I already know, I am selfish.

"Arrgggghhhh" Slamming my head on my pillow, I turn my face and take a deep breath, his scent still lingers there and calms me instantly. Blaming my parents wont do any good, blaming Edward wont either. Its all of my own doing. He has treat me perfectly, lovingly and granted all of my wishes, (even if I do have to wait for the one I want the most) and all I have done is.. " holy fuck" Jesus, all I ve done is take.

I feel the tell tale prickle of tears and jump up and take another much needed deep breath. How can I have not seen this, how can I not of noticed my selfish behaviour, and for the love of god why the fuck didn't someone tell me.

" There you go again Bella" Selfish. Its high time I started acting like the adult I claim to be and fix this. I need my phone " phone, phone, phone" where is it.. Ahaa grabbing it from where I threw it earlier, god I'm a shit "bitch" I mutter to myself . Maybe I should stop with the self pity and get on with forming a plan. And maybe check my families mental health history, as I've spoken out loud more times in the last few minutes than is really normal. Focus Bella, right, opening up the phone I send a quick and simple txt

I LOVE YOU BX

I soon as I pressed send my heart felt slightly lighter and a small smile started tugging at the corners of my mouth, which turns into a full blown smile as seconds later my phone chirps signalling a incoming message. Fumbling with the keys I press open and the smile falls and those fucking tears are threatening to come back.

AND I LOVE YOU. IS EVERYTHING OK? EX

See, see, SEE. Fucking bitch. The love of my life, my soul mate thinks there is something wrong when I tell him I love him. How can he think that? I tell him every day. Which usually leads to cuddling and kissing and tongues and… and…

"Oh god." Does he think I only say it to get my own way? That I don't love him as much as he loves me? Of course he does he is my 109 year old moralistic virgin vampire fiancé that doesn't see him self worthy of any thing other than being called a monster. Snort number two of the evening tells me I need to concentrate and fix this. God and I thought I was an idiot.

With wet shaky fingers I hastily reply. I need to fix this.

EVERYTHING IS PERFECT. I JUST LOVE YOU. YOUR FUTURE MRS CULLEN X

After pressing send I make my way to the bathroom for another shower, the hot water will clear my mind and help me come up with a plan of action. Stripping off and stepping into the spray I think back over the past year and try to pin point all the mistakes I've made in this relationship. Now don't get me wrong Edward is not entirely blameless, I know this but first I need to fix myself then I can help him with his own epiphany.

I mentally make a list of my past misdeeds, which is quite lengthy, I really am a shit. The two main ones that are flashing in neon freaking lights in my brain are Jacob and his boundaries. The first would be easily rectified if I wasn't such a stubborn pigheaded moron. I know I was wrong and sneaky and I should never of gone to La Push all the times that I did. But as I said stubborn pigheaded moron. Being told that I cant do something made me want to do it even more. Instead of coming to a compromise with Edward I basically gave him the finger and ran to my friend to play nice. Making him jealous and worried all at once when he had enough to worry about in the first place.

Sighing out loud, I know what I need to do and what I need to say. I need to bare my soul and admit that I was wrong and foolish, and I should of never let myself get so close to Jacob and lead him on in those dark bleak months when I knew I could never love him more than just a friend. That was the beginning of the down hill path between Edward, Jacob and myself, right to hitting the very rocky bottom of that day by the tent. I will make sure he understands everything. In fact I will write down every detailed emotion and feeling between the three of us so that he can truly understand that it was only him and only ever will be him. And when he has read it on paper I will tell him verbally what written words cannot say.

The second issue however will be more tricky. Trying to find a solution and thinking hard, I didn't realize how long I had been stood there as the water starts to run cold.

Great just as I was on a roll and feeling pretty damn poetic. Sighing I stepped from the shower, I dried myself off and picked up my dirty laundry. Well not so dirty laundry, as they were clean on a couple of hours ago after my first shower but clean panties is a must at least 5 times a day lately thanks to the evil tongue slipper. Thank god I'm a women and the evidence of my desire for him is not visible.

I shudder at that thought. God how embarrassing would it be if he could see the state of my underwear after only a kiss, that would be just so.. So.. oh. My. God. Things start slipping into place with epiphany number… Oh I don't fucking know. But how the hell didn't I see it sooner.

"Oh sweet Jesus." I can feel the blush spreading from the tips of my ears all the way down to my rib cage. All the signs were there. The eyes, the flaring of the nostrils and the freezing and fleeing. Oh. My. Fucking. God. He can smell me. Well of course idiot he's a bloody vampire. Sinking to floor against the bathroom door in just a towel I glare at the white satin panties in my hand, trying to burn holes in them with my eyes. How am I going to be able to face him now without dying of mortification. Oh god. oh god oh god oh god.

Oh

Oh

OH

He. Is. A, Vampire.

A giggle slips through, and I realize our senses of smell will be completely different. Curiosity gets the better of me and I bring exhibit A closer to get a quick whiff. Musk, tang and salt. Hmm not my cup of tea but if blood smells to me like rust and salt this shit is going to smell like heaven to him.

A evil grin slowly spread across my face and all embarrassment flies out the window.

This could work to my advantage. Oh Bella, have you forgotten the real issue, boundaries.

Yes yes yes I know, I need to make him see that I understand the dangers and that I'm not just saying that; I know he wont hurt me but I'm trusting him not to. Because I trust him with the everything that I am. Now I just need to make him see the difference of the two.

Planning this however will take more time and I can feel the emotional strain of the past couple of hours set in. Taking my now tired self off the floor I stumble across the hall and into my room feeling a whole lot lighter. But I only make it a couple of steps before I drop the clothes and nearly lose my towel.

" Christ Edward, you scared me half to death. " I whisper breathlessly and bend to retrieve the dropped items.

Clutching the towel tightly to my body I turn to face him, and even though the lamp is dim I see that he's still. Not vampire still, but dirty smelling panties, frozen vampire still, clenching and unclenching his fists at his side.

Oh yes, exhibit A how I love thee. In a very graceful move for me, I casually tip toe to my closet to put my things in the laundry basket. And accidentally on purpose drop the white satin on the way.

Having still not replied I ask.

" Is everything ok Edward?" And hold the phone, no blush. I give myself an internal pat on the back for not giving my deviousness away.

Only answering with a jerky nod and a tight smile, knowing now that this kind of response from him is not just because of all the expose skin but exposed scents too.

Smiling back and telling him I'll two seconds I grab the nearest sleep wear and go back to the bathroom to change, before he realizes that I'm onto him.

Isabella Swan you are a fucking genius.

Fully clothed I step back into the room to see that he has moved from his spot by the window and is now casually stretched out on my bed. With a quick glance I see that the bait has been taken. Now now Bella this is Edward we are talking about he may just have put them with the rest of the laundry to save you a job. But deep down I know that thought to be untrue, as he said himself, he is a man. I'll just have to check when he's not here. Blushing at my own slyness and sighing out loud, I sink down into the bed and curl myself around my perfect beautiful man.


Thanks for reading let me know what you think and hit the button T x