I do not own the characters and I am not making a profit

Rated T to M

Dedicated to A

POV Gabrielle

Based on Season Two episode: The Return of Callisto

Repent

Chapter One:

I made a decision. A decision that I can't take back. But I wish I could.

I stand at the altar, my husband-to-be at my side and my best friend standing behind me as I say my vows. Tears swim in my eyes as I stare at Perdicus, my childhood friend and soon to be husband, my soon to be life mate. A man that I pledge to love and cherish for the rest of my mortal life.

I can't stop the tears that pool. I'm not sure if I want to. So I let them pool in warm gushes and flow down my cheeks as I accept his ring, and allow him to place it on my finger. The metal is warm and his touch cold.

I focus on the warm metal, now placed around my finger. It is my binding token, a symbol of my love for my husband to be. I blink away the tears and focus on Perdicus. I don't dare look back into stormy blue eyes. I'll crumble if I do. He smiles down at me unbidden, his teeth flashing white and his dark eyes crinkled in pleasure. Xena, my best friend, stands stiff behind me. Joxer, my lovesick friend, acts as Perdicus's best man, looking mournful and stern for such an easy going man.

Perdicus leans in. It's the moment where we kiss and merge our union. So, I close my eyes and block him out as he places a kiss on my lips to finalize the union. His lips are rough against mine as we softly kiss. Then, the priest announces us as wed. Tears spill down my cheeks as I pull back from his mouth. I hear gasps from Xena and Joxer as they release their collectively held breaths. I sigh as I turn, wiping my wet cheeks dry with the sleeve of my dress.

Cool blue eyes, the color of the tempestuous Aegean right before a storm, gaze down at me with tears pooling under the lids, but not trickling out. At least, not yet. She always remains strong. Unpenetrable and stoic. Her slowly pooling tears give way to her heartbreak. I'm not sure how to accept her tears, or how to say all the things flowing through my mind right now, so I remain silent. After traveling with her for eight seasons, I know how she appreciates the silence.

She steps forward and says, "Gabrielle…" in her rough voice, the voice she uses when she's unsure of what to say. Her nostrils flare as she gasps in air.

"I know Xena," I whisper, my voice husky even to my own ears. And I do know the emotions swirling in those cerulean depths, because I see and know that they mirror my own. I want so much to take her body against mine, to squeeze her so tight that we meld into one, and to touch her warm skin as I have longed to since the moment our eyes first met. But Perdicus is watching us.

And I've made my decision.

I smile at Xena, letting her know how deeply I understand what I've done to her, and give her a meek hug. It's a brief touch of skin, so absent of the truth of what we both feel, but its all I can offer her, then I step away. It will probably be the last time we touch.

Tears again pool in those cerulean eyes and I feel them pooling in mine.

I cry for her as she cries for me. Her tears drip out, making her cheeks shine in the darkened light, as mine trickle down my cheek, rewetting the already crusted trails of spent tears. I reach out with my left hand to brush hers away, but my eyes catch the shine of my wedding band, and my hand freezes in place then drops back to my side.

Then, my husband takes my hand, tugging me away from Xena. He's still smiling as he leads me through the chapel doors. My eyes linger on Xena until the moment she disappears from my view.

I am now bound to another. I said yes when I should have said no. But I made a decision and now, I have to stand by it. My duty as a new wife, pulls me toward my marriage bed. I am mentally a willing participant, but emotionally torn as my heart, held firmly between large tan hands, stands back and watches me go.

I have to go back and get it. I can't live without my heart.

I stop walking, and tug Perdicus to a standstill. I gaze at the temple and ignore his eyes.

I watch for Xena, but see only an empty doorway. "I can't do this," I say, and release his hand. "I've made a mistake."

"What's done is done," he husks, then grabs my hand, clenching my fingers hard and pulls me along roughly. I stumble from the momentum but still look toward the temple, hoping for a glimpse of blue eyes.

The doorway remains empty.

My chest remains barren.

The gold of my ring, sliding along my finger, glitters in the fading light from Apollo, as I turn away from the temple to watch where I'm going. Perdicus smiles once again, but this time, not a happy smile. It is a smile of victory.

A/N: Continue this or end it here? :+)