Okay, as you may know Harry Potter IV is currently being written by my dear friend xXx-Beautiful-Lies-xXx well this is kinda set the same time as that but has nothing to do with that, you know what I mean? Hence the name: 'Random intermission' Nothing to do with any of the plots in the other stories it just for a bit of fun (and 'cause I miss Barry and others, yet am too lazy to try and write the long fourth book onwards...) So please, be awesome and review and I shall love you forever and ever.

3 LLP

Let the games begin...

Barry Saucepan and the Random Intermission

Chapter one: Rude Awakenings

Barry opened his eyes and was met by a disturbing sight...A random guy sitting on his bed.

"Harry Potter?" The boy about his age asked.

"Who the fuck are you?!" Barry asked his own question.

The boy went red,

"Sorry...I'm Charlie," he extended his hand. Barry didn't take it,

"What are you doing in my room?! And why do people keep asking for Harry Potter?! I am not Harry Potter. I am Barry Saucepan, the brilliant Barry Saucepan! I've had books written about me, I have books written about me, I EFFING DEFEATED YOU-KNOW-WHO DAMMIT!!! ...And I have a hot girlfriend I bet this, 'Harry Potter' doesn't have a hot girlfriend!" Barry huffed and puffed indignantly.

Charlie frowned,

"Well I'm sorry to intrude your royal highness..." He said sarcastically.

"Hey Barry, who are you-" Sirius stopped mid sentence, "Barry, why do you have a boy in your room?"

Barry suddenly realised how wrong this looked...

"Sirius...This is not what it looks like!"

Sirius then bounced his eyebrows,

"Oh really?" His expression dropped, "Wait...Ewww!"

Charlie looked on in confusion,

"Huh?"

"BAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!" Lemo appeared out of no where, Charlie become more confused and somewhat startled. Poor Charlie...

"Where'd you come from?!" He exclaimed

"Yo mum," She turned her attention back to Barry, "I fell asleep in your closet again."

"What were you doing-?"

"SILENCE! What were you doing with a boy in your room?"

"Yea Barry, what's with the dude?" Sirius added.

Barry sighed,

"I don't know...I just woke up and he was just-"

"You've been drinking again!!!" Lemo accused him, finger pointing and all.

"Wait, no I've been sent here-" Charlie was interrupted by Lemo.

"He was sent here?! Did Andrew send you a hooker?! I'm going to kill the boy...I mean, he could have at least sent you a female...Or maybe he tried and there were none left..." Lemo pondered for a moment then looked at Charlie, "Were there no more female hookers left?"

"No I-"

Lemo patted him gently on the shoulder,

"I'm sure you are a brilliant man-hooker, but I only want female hookers sent to my boyfriend please. Could you please pass that onto your-" This time Lemo was interrupted by Sirius.

"Lemo, I don't think this boy was sent by an agency...I mean no bondage whips or handcuffs...? No hooker would come so unprepared."

Andy entered the room munching on some popcorn,

"What's this about hookers?"

"Nothing, Barry's cheating on me with Charlie."

"Charlie? Who's that?" Charlie weakly waved his hand in the air. Andy nodded, "Hi there you home-wrecking man-whore." She gave him a fake smile, then turned to Lemo, "Would you like me to get Drew in here to beat the crap out of him?"

Charlie squealed. Lemo sighed,

"Don't worry; Drew's a twig, skinny and lanky. The worst he could do is bitch-slap you. Or smother you in his hair."

Andy giggled.

"Let it go!!!" Drew moaned entering the room, also munching, he put one arm around Andy's waist and continued more munching.

"NEVER!" Lemo cried.

Andrew rolled his eyes,

"So what happened?"

Before Lemo could answer, Charlie spoke,

"Before anyone says it, I have not nor will sleep with Barry."

"AND WHY THE HELL NOT?!"

"...Lemo..." Andy said, waiting for it to click. Lemo paused and blinked,

"THREESOME!" She threw herself at Barry who was still seated on his bed.

"Oh! Would you look at the time...Since this isn't Harry Potter I best be-" Charlie was freaking out.

"FOR CHRIST SAKE!!!" Mione appeared in the room with a small pop, "YOU!" She pointed at Lemo, "Stop trying to rape him!" She faced Charlie, "YOU! Stay right there, I know what you are doing here even if no one else does!" She pointed fiercely at Sirius, "YOU!"

"Me?" Sirius squeaked.

"Get me some Beer Butter!"

"But you're under-"

"Do you wish to live?"

Sirius cowered.

Lotte Tegan burst into the room,

"Using your time traveller is cheating!!!"

Sirius wolf whistled as he waled past to get Mione's beer butter.

"Bite me," Lotte puffed.

Sirius bounced his eyebrows before Lotte slammed the door in his face.