Greg : Mycroft : Sherlock

Saturday the 21st of August 2010

(Sat 4.43 pm)

So much for the helpful notes, I am going to fail this essay because of you.

( Sat 4.45 pm)

I don't recall giving anyone notes for anything. Where did you get this number from?

(Sat 4.46 pm)

So your not Anderson then?

(Sat 4.47 pm)

Of course not. I am just a very busy man who you are distracting with your text messages. I recommend getting your essay done.

( Sat 4.49 pm)

It is you're or you are. Just thought that I would inform you.

( Sat 4.52 pm )

So much for being a 'very busy man,' if you have time to correct my spelling.

( Sat 4.55 pm )

I am a very busy man but I won't abide for bad grammar in this day of age where there is adequate education in Britain.

(Sat 4.56 pm)

I was going to call you a prick but I changed my mind.

(Sat 4.58 pm)

So what do I owe this honour? You really shouldn't be texting me. You don't know who I am and you surely must have better things to do than annoy me.

( Sat 4.59 pm )

It's only an essay, not due until Tuesday morning. I have time to get it done.

(Sat 5.01 pm)

It is so reassuring that this generation of university students take their studies so seriously.

(Sat 5.01 pm)

I do take uni seriously. So you must have a lot to do if you are working on a Sunday.

(Sat 5.02 pm)

I was busy working until you decided to text me about your essay.

(Sat 5.04 pm)

It was an accident. I must have typed in the wrong number when my mate was giving me his number.

(Sat 5.07 pm)

Shows how much attention you must pay to things if you can't even type in a phone number correctly.

(Sat 5.08 pm)

Why are you even talking to me still anyway? We have established that I am not Anderson and now you are bothering a complete stranger.

(Sat 5.10 pm)

You keep replying.

(Sat 5.10 pm)

Just to let you know that I am intelligent by the way!

(Sat 5.12 pm)

Are you aware of the fact that there are several breeds of dogs that have greater intelligence that some humans? The poodle is one of them.

(Sat 5.15 pm)

I am smarter than a bloody poodle! God you are such a prick!

(Sat 5.20 pm)

Is this meant to have some effect on me? I have been called worse.

(Sat 5.22 pm)

Being honest I can see why. You go around correcting people's grammar and you compare them to poodles out of all things. You must be popular at uni.

(Sat 5.25 pm)

I'm popular in the office, my superiors think that I am efficient at what tasks I am given. So you are in education? What subject have you decided to attempt?

(Sat 5.28 pm )

Criminology. I'm in my second year so far.

(Sat 5.28 pm)

So what do you do then?

(Sat 5.30 pm)

I am a PA to an MP, work experience if you must call it that. It is dry job but more interesting than accountancy.

(Sat 6.35 pm)

So you depreciate being an accountant then?

(Sat 6.37 pm)

How long did it take for you to come up with that?

(Sat 6.39 pm)

I didn't. I found it on the internet.

(Sat 6.42 pm)

My point stands strong about poodles having higher IQ's than some people.

(Sat 6.45 pm)

What made you want to be a PA then? An accountant is a better career.

(Sat 6.48 pm)
Accountancy was my mother's back up plan before I enter politics. I left the course early.

(Sat 6.50 pm)
My mum is the same. I was wanting to join the police right out of school but she was wanting me to try uni first.

(Sat 6.50 pm)

So did you drop out then?

(Sat 6.55 pm)

I graduated early. Finished in my second year.

(Sat 6.56 pm)

Seriously! That is incredible.

(Sat 6.58 pm)

I don't know what the big deal is.

(Sat 7.00 pm)

It is a big deal, it's incredible. You must be so smart.

(Sat 7.01 pm)

I am smarter than the average poodle. I don't know why you are amazed at a strangers accomplishment. Don't you have better things to do than talk to me?

(Sat 7.02 pm)

I'm only at my mums for dinner. I'm waiting for the cake my mum's made.

(Sat 7.03 pm)

You seem like an uptight bloke but I reckon that you must like cake.

(Sat 7.05 pm)

Unfortunately so. If you are so insistent that you keep talking to me do I get a name?

(Sat 7.08 pm)

Greg.

(Sat 7.10 pm)

Just 'Greg?' Didn't your mother give you a proper name?

(Sat 7.11 pm)

It's better than being called Gregory, and what's yours?

(Sat 7.12 pm)

Mycroft.

(Sat 7.15 pm)

I have honestly looked at your name and I don't know if it is auto correct playing up or not.

(Sat 7.15 pm)

Is your name seriously that? You're mum didn't give you a proper name.

(Sat 7.17 pm)

*your

(Sat 7.17 pm)

Mycroft is a proper name.

(Sat 7.20 pm)

It's unusual. You don't get too many Mycroft's going around that's all. You wouldn't get it on a keyring.

(Sat 7.21 pm)

Why would you want my name on a keyring? So are you going to stop bothering me once you get your pudding?

(Sat 7.22 pm)

Nah, who else am I going to talk to?

(Sat 7.25 pm)

Your mother? Anderson? There must be someone in your life who you can bother instead of me.

(Sat 7.30 pm)

I could but you're interesting. I have to go, pudding is ready.

(Sat 7.35 pm)

Hopefully you will leave me alone now. Go and work on that essay.

(Sat 11.34 pm)

Fuck my life. I can't do this.

(Sat 11.38 pm)

Having trouble with the essay? Hello to you as well Gregory.

(Sat 11.40 pm)
It's not just the essay that is giving me grief. The girlfriend is giving me hell.

(Sat 11.45 pm)

Is this the time where I ask you what is wrong?

(Sat 11.48 pm)

Yeah it is. My girlfriend crazy because I have forgotten our anniversary.

(Sat 11.53 pm)

I take it that you haven't be going out with her long then if you have forgotten.

(Sat 11.56 pm)

Been going out with Kate for three months. I know poodles are smarter than me before you say it.

(Sat 11.58 pm)

On more important matters, how is the essay going? That must be more interesting your girlfriend.

(Sun 0.12 am)
I've got a summery done and that's it.

( Sun 0.12 am)

Oh god, she's sent me a long message on facebook. It is all in caps.

( Sun 0.15 pm)

Why are you even putting up with this? Girlfriends are dull and a waste of time.

( Sun 0.18 am)

So...I take it that you don't have a girlfriend.

( Sun 0.20 am)

Why would I want a girlfriend? I have just said that they are a waste of time.

(Sun 0.30 am)

So girlfriends are not your type? What about boyfriends?

(Sun 0.35 am)

Boyfriends are a waste of time. Why are you even with Kate? She's probably seeing someone else that's why she's so uptight about the anniversary.

(Sun 0.45 am)

I am going to assume that you are having a laugh. She wouldn't cheat on me.

(Sun 0.46 am)

And easily curable diseases can still kill people despite the improvements in modern medicine.

(Sun 0.50 am)

I thought that you would have stopped texting me by now.

(Sun 0,52 am)
You keep replying.

(Sun 0.53 am)

It is rude not to reply to a message.

(Sun 0.55 am)

Are you still working on what you are doing?

(Sun 1:00 am)

Yes. Go to work or go to bed instead of texting me.

(Sun 1:02 am)

Yes sir ;)

(Sun 1:03 am)

Lord give me strength.

(Mon 9;00 am)

You were texting a lot on Saturday.

(Mon 9:03)

What of it?

(Mon 9:05 am)

You never text. Who would be talking to you?

(Mon 9:07 am)

No one important. I need to go into a meeting.

(Mon 9.08 am)

We know that is a lie. Your boss doesn't come in for another seven minutes. Who were you talking to?

(Mon 9.10 am )

It is none of your business. It was just a wrong number.

(Mon 9:11 am)

You spent a long time talking to a wrong number then.

(Mon 9.13 am)

Shouldn't you be in class?

(Mon 9:15 am)

I got kicked out of the class, teachers don't like it when you tell them that their husband is having a gay affair.

(Mon 9.16 am)

I have to go. I need to take minutes for this meeting.

(Mon 9.18 am)
I'll see you at home. Tell Greg that I said hello

(Mon 9.20 am)

You've been looking at my phone again!

(Mon 9.20 am)

You need a better password on your phone.

(Mon 1.30 pm)

What flowers say to a girl that you are sorry for forgetting an anniversary?

(Mon 1.35 pm)

Why are you asking me this? I am trying to get work done.

(Mon 1.38 pm)

You seem like a smart guy. I am still half convinced that you are a robot.

(Mon 1.48 pm)

I can assure you that I am human. They used to call me robot at school.

(Mon 1.50 pm)

Did they call you anything else?

(Mon 1.51 pm)

Unimaginative insults to do with my weight and the more colourful sort.

(Mon 1.53 pm)

They used to call me 'Egg,' at school because I liked egg sandwiches.

(Mon 1.54 pm)

Think that I might get egg and bacon for lunch. What are you having for lunch?

(Mon 1.55 pm)

Coffee. Why do you care about my lunch?

(Mon 2.00 pm)

Just trying to make conversation. It's talking to you or talking to Kate. She's still pretty pissed off about the anniversary.

(Mon 2.01 pm)

I didn't think that a two month anniversary is that important. Not like we live together or adopted a cat together. Do you like cats?

(Mon 2.02 pm)

Cat's can be pleasant. They don't bother me too much. Better than dogs, my brother had a dog when he was younger, Redbeard.

(Mon 2.05 pm)

We just had a cat. it was Satan's minion. It used to bring birds into the house and they were alive.

(Mon 2.07 pm)

Cats do that in the attempt to teach you how to hunt. Maybe your cat thought you were needing some special help.

(Mon 2,08 pm)
See look we are making conversation Mycroft. Isn't this exciting and maybe one day you can learn how to become a real boy!

(Mon 2.10 pm)

As much as I love our little chats, I have to work on more important matters. Go and work on that essay.

(Mon 2.11 pm)

Alright. If I don't text later assume that I'm dead from the essay.

(Mon 2.12 pm)

That or you have decided to stop bothering me.

(Mon 2.13 pm)

I doubt it.