The Parody Act

It was yet another clear skyed bright sunny spring day in Konoha, the birds were chirping happily in their trees, the flowers in the fields swaying softly, and the clash of metal weapons as the leaf nin trained with their respective teams.

All were enjoying the weather after the typhoon season had passed, all but one. One dark haired teen sat under the shade of tree that he was leaning against.

He hated spring, the brightness, the heat and the pollen, it aggravated him. Not to mention the sea of fan girls that would swoon at him in the season of 'courtship'. He closed his eyes, trying to block out the sunlight that was everywhere and receded into his own little shell in the darker corners of his mind.

The sounds of his rambunctiousteammates slowly fading away, he heard an unnatural rustle in the tree leaves above him. He drew out a shuriken, almost too fast for the naked eye to witness and flung it into the braches. A small frightened 'eep' was heard and then a girl he'd never seen before crashed onto the ground.

He leapt back, kunai in his hand, ready to defend if necessary, while scrutinizing her. She had dark hair, and wore a black skirt that reached her knees; almost completely covering the moderately modest skirt was an enormous fuchsia pink T-shirt. He frowned, he'd never seen a girl so strangely dressed before.

"Who are you." It was more a demand than a question, the girl 'eep'ed some more and slowly pushed herself up from her belly down position. Rubbing the aches on her bottom, she sat up, scooting back to lean on the tree that he had been resting upon. The front of her T-shirt was now covered with dust, dirtying the large white ring decorating the empty fuchsia expanse. She also had peculiar white eyes. After squinting some more, he lowered his weapon.

"The Hyuga girl?"

She nodded, wiping some of the dirt off her face and wiping away the tears that had sprung to her eyes. Pulling her knees to her, she tried to hide as much leg as she could with the large T-shirt. Sasuke snorted. She was safe, contrary to her strange motives of wearing weird clothing and hiding in trees, she had not chased after him during their academy years together, she was also pretty weak, so she was safe.

Sasuke sat back down, keeping his distance from the girl, who had now buried herself into her knees, her fists clenched and a rosy tint of red staining her ears. Sasuke noticed that in her little clenched hands, she held a crumpled piece of paper. With one swift move, he'd stolen the crumpled paper, and left the Hyuga girl staring at her empty open hand in shock.

Before he could properly flatten the sheet out to read any suspicious information that might be written on it, the smaller girl lunged, trying to grab it off him, he only moved it further away. He smirked, he could keep it off her for hours, but she didn't seem to give up, he'd just have to wait until she tired.

A few minutes past, and she was still pouncing around trying to grab her piece of paper back from him. His patience quickly deteriorating, he realized that maybe she would not give up as easily as he thought. His legs were becoming sore from the constant kneading her knees made when crawling over him to snatch repeatedly at the piece of paper, but this only made him more curious about what could possibly be on this piece of paper that would be so important.

He decided he would cut their little game short. She lunged again, this time he pushed himself off the tree, startling her she fell on her back and he used his weight to squash her to the ground, with on arm pressing against her neck, as to keep her still.

He observed her, checking for any suspicious signs. Her face was red her eyes tightly closed, he could still see the tears clinging to her fluttering eye lashes. Her breathing becoming laboured, he put less pressure against her neck and decided to finally reveal the mystery of her crumpled note. Hastily, he opened the sheet with one hand, the other arm still preoccupied. Sharp eyes scanning over the delicate hiragana scrawled over it, he assumed it was a list of instructions of some sort.

: Talk loud

: Hit people

: Wear revealing clothing

: Wear circles/rings

: Lose stutter

: Wear pink and green

: Spy on Sasuke-san

He frowned, a crease forming in between eyebrows. Glaring down at the girl, he got off her. As she tried to sit up, he grabbed the front of her fuchsia T-shirt and threw her up against the tree, pinning her there, if she thought he'd let her off easy, she was significantly wrong. She let out a frightened squeal, he paid no heed. If she was going to become one of the many stalkers he had, he'd have no mercy.

She also had the Byakugan, she was dangerous. Very dangerous.

He glanced back at her, all he could see now was the fuchsia T-shirt, it seemed that he'd held it a little too high and she'd slipped down, only the top of her head peeping through all the pink, small flashes of her bare stomach visible.

"What's the meaning of this." Yet another cold demand was uttered as he brought the T-shirt a little higher, she tip-toed, attempting to 'wear' the T-shirt again in vain.

"Well?" His voice held an unspoken threat, a chilling coldness that he thought would frighten an answer out of her. He was ... half-correct. She uttered a quiet stream of frightened squeaks that sounded something like:

"Na-na-na-na-a-a-a-ah..."

"Answer me."

"I-I-I w-wa-want Na-Naruto t-to l-like m-m-meep!" Cutting her off quite viciously, he brought the T-shirt even higher, the bob of her hair now completely lost in a sea of fuchsia and the pale flesh of her stomach exposed, while her arms were flailing around in the air as she tried her best not to lose the item of clothing entirely.

"Say it properly. So I can understand."

He added in a low growl, just so she knew he was serious. Staring at the bundle of pink clothe clenched in his hand, he waited for the girl who was lost in them to reply.

"I w-want Naruto t-to like me..."

He snorted. Letting go of her, or rather her insanely large T-shirt, he watched the pink-faced out of breathe girl try to make herself more dignified, a hard task to accomplish when the clothes you wear make you look like a total clown.

"So this is about the dobe?"

He spat venom. He should've known sooner, it was largely known that the Hyuga girl sported a crush on his stupid blond team mate. What puzzled him was exactly how sitting in trees spying on him while dressed like a clown would accomplish anything. Maybe she was trying to make an idiot out of herself, so that she and Naruto could fly off to idiot land and get married and breed idiot babies. That could've been possible.

"C-can I have m-my l-list back?"

He looked her up and down. Was she for real? He snorted, scrunching up her note and throwing it carelessly at her, he dismissed her with a small 'che', and began to take his leave.

"W-wait! S-Sasuke-san, I-I need your h-help. P-p-please?"

He slowed his gait, turning around to look at the clown once again.

"With what?" He said, with the same haughty uncaring tone he always used.

"W-well... c-can you t-teach me h-how to b-be S-Sakura?"

"Why would you want to be that bimbo?"

"S-Sasuke-san! That w-was not a n-nice thing to s-say. S-Sakura-san is v-very s-smart."

"Che, you think I care?"

"W-well n-no... b-but I d-do."

"And why do you care? What's the point of caring if anything you care about is going to end up gone."

"S-Sasuke-san... W-we a-are going off t-topic."

"And if I help you? What good is this for me."

"T-the f-fulfilling f-feeling of h-helping s-someone in n-need."

Sasuke snorted, and turned to leave, she made a grab for his navy shirts sleeve, her lavender hue eyes wide with desperation.

"W-wait! A-Anything y-you w-want, j-just p-please! H-help m-me?"

"Fine."

Her face lit up, and she bowed.

"T-thank y-you, S-Sasuke-san."

He smirked. She would regret her end of this deal. Regret it dearly.

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A/N I've had droughts in all my other stories lately, so I thought I'd introduce one that I've been building up for a while now. So tell me what you think, funny or not? Because if I can't do one thing it's humour. Sigh. So review! And stuff!