I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM
I do not own Doctor Who or Star Wars and I am not making any profit off of this.
This story takes place not long after The Name of the Doctor.
I got the idea for this story from ImpossibleClara9 who wondered why no one had done a story where Clara had a fob watch so I thought I'd do one. Here's the result. I hope you'll like it.
Clara woke up from a deep sleep on the couch to find herself looking up into the concerned face of Angie Maitland of all people. Apparently Angie had shaken her awake.
"Clara? Are you alright? You just drifted off to sleep right in the middle of the day. You've never done that before," Angie said in a slightly frightened voice.
Clara smiled as she realized that despite her sometimes rude treatment of her that Angie actually did care about her in her own way. She quickly got up off the couch and put a reassuring arm around Angie's shoulders.
"I'm fine. I'm still just a bit tired after everything that I went through saving the Doctor all throughout his timestream. That's all. The Doctor said that it might take me a while to fully recover," Clara said with a reassuring grin.
She had told both of the children what had happened right after she had returned from Trenzalore. She knew that they deserved some explanation for the sluggishness that the Doctor told her that she was going to experience for a while until her body fully returned to normal.
"I still don't quite understand all of that, but I get the gist of it. You almost got yourself killed saving the Doctor. I really think that you should reconsider traveling with him for your own good," Angie said in a worried voice.
"You're worried about Clara," Artie said with a grin as he suddenly appeared out of the kitchen with a huge sandwich in his hand.
"I am not. I'm just trying to give her some helpful advice. That's all," Angie said.
"You're worried about her because you love her. Admit it. You care about Clara," Artie said.
"Shut up! I just don't want anything to happen to her!" Angie shouted back in anger and then quickly clamped her hand over her mouth.
"Ha! You do care about her!" Artie said in triumph.
Angie looked mortified as Clara smiled at her and said, "It's okay, Angie. I won't tell anyone if you don't."
Angie smiled at her briefly for understanding.
"I will," Artie said gleefully.
"You won't if you want to continue breathing," Angie threatened as she made a fist.
"No threatening your brother, Angie," Clara admonished.
"Why not?" Angie protested in a way that let Clara know that she was going to obey her but still felt like complaining about it.
"You know why not. Just behave while I sit down a minute," Clara said as she began to feel strange again.
"Are you alright?" Angie asked as she and Artie had to help a weakened Clara sit back down on the couch.
"I think so. The Doctor said that this would be happening to me for a while. He said it was perfectly normal. He could be lying of course. He does that," Clara said with a slight grin.
"Fine boyfriend you've got there," Angie said grunting disdainfully.
"He's not my boyfriend," Clara protested.
"Maybe not yet but I bet he soon will be," Artie said laughing.
"Stop that," Clara said briefly smiling before clutching her head as she felt woozy again.
"Clara?" Artie asked in fear.
"I'm fine. I'm going to be alright, Artie," Clara said as she smiled at him.
"No, you're not. You're not acting right. Is there any way for us to contact the Doctor? Didn't he leave you a number or something?" Angie asked.
"Yeah, there's the number I first called him at. It rings the TARDIS directly. It's programmed into my phone," Clara said.
"I'm going to call him right now," Angie said in a furious voice.
"No, I'm going to call him. If you do it, you'll just scream at him because you're so worried about Clara," Artie said as he went to find the phone.
After Artie left, that was when Angie noticed that Clara was holding something shiny and silver in her hand. She blinked when she realized that it was a fob watch.
Why would Clara have one of those for? It wasn't exactly her style.
"Clara, why are you holding a fob watch for? Is it the Doctor's? It looks like it might go on that watch chain of his," Angie asked.
Clara looked at her oddly as she said, "What are you talking about? I don't have a fob watch."
"Yes, you do. It's right there in your hand. You're holding it," Angie said as she began to worry about Clara even more now.
Clara looked down at her hand in shock as she saw that Angie was right. She was holding a fob watch. Where had that come from? She couldn't remember having it before.
"I don't know whose this is, but it's not mine," Clara said as she carefully examined it.
"Maybe it has a name engraved on the inside. Open it and see," Angie said still thinking that it must be the Doctor's (and being just a bit curious to know his real name).
Clara tried to open it but she couldn't. She tried again and again, but it wouldn't budge.
"It won't open. Not that it matters. It's broken anyway," Clara said.
Angie looked at her in surprise as she said, "I thought you said that it wasn't yours."
"It isn't," Clara said.
"How do you know that it's broken then? Did the Doctor tell you?" Angie asked.
Clara looked at her in incomprehension for a moment until she realized that Angie was right so she said, "I don't know how I know that. I just do. Maybe this is the Doctor's, and he told me about it. He could have left it with me for some reason, and I forgot about it. That must be it, right?"
"Of course. That has to be it," Angie agreed uneasily.
"I swear I'm fine," Clara said upon seeing the looks of concern that Angie kept giving her.
Then Clara stiffened as she heard a voice coming from the watch and calling her name. She looked at it in horror as she realized that the voice sounded just like hers.
"Clara, what is it?" Angie asked in a near panic now.
"You don't hear that voice? It's a voice coming from the watch," Clara said.
"No, I don't hear anything. Clara, please don't be going mad," Angie almost whispered.
Clara smiled at her and lightly brushed her fingers across the top of her head as she said, "I'm alright, Angie. I'm not mad I promise. Even if I am, I'm sure it's the good kind of mad like the Doctor."
"That makes me feel so much better," Angie said in a frightened voice.
Clara hugged her gently as she said, "I'm fine. It must just be some side effect of Trenzalore. It'll go away eventually."
Then she heard the voice from the watch calling her once again only this time it was telling her to open the watch. She looked at it hesitantly and was filled with fear now because she wasn't sure that she wanted to open it. Something inside of her was telling her that that might not be such a good idea.
"Clara, are you going to open the watch?" Angie asked as she saw her staring at it intently.
"I don't know. The voice keeps telling me that I need to but I don't want to. I'm afraid to," Clara admitted.
"Don't then. You don't have to open it. Maybe you shouldn't. Maybe it's some kind of alien trick, and it's going to take over your mind if you do. Here. Let me have it," Angie said.
"No!" Clara shouted as Angie tried to take it from her and scaring the girl.
"I'm sorry. I don't know why I did that. I just know that I can't let anyone have the watch. There's something very important about it. I have to keep it safe," Clara said.
"Of course you do. Where are you, Artie?" Angie said as she looked around for her missing brother with barely concealed panic in her voice.
"Are you okay? I know I overreacted about the watch. I'm sorry," Clara said.
"Yeah. I'm fine," Angie lied.
Then Clara heard the voice telling her to open the watch again. She was suddenly terrified. What if the watch was something alien, and it had made her scream at Angie that way because she was trying to stop it? What if she opened the watch and something took her over and made her hurt Angie? She couldn't take that chance.
She started to put the watch in one of her pockets until the Doctor came when the voice said, "I wouldn't hurt Angie any more than you would. I am you after all more or less."
"What?" Clara said out loud as Angie tried very hard not to freak out at the sight of Clara openly talking to the watch now.
"I said that I am you. That's why I sound like you. I'm your true self, Clara. The real you," The voice said.
"What do you mean you're the real me?" Clara asked in complete confusion.
"Clara, put the watch down! Now!" Angie shouted in a complete panic now.
Clara nodded and started to do so when the voice said, "You're not really human. You're a Time Lord just like the Doctor."
That stopped Clara right in her tracks as she said, "I'm listening."
"Clara, no!" Angie said in despair.
Then Angie's heart stopped as Clara opened the watch and was covered in a golden light from head to toe. As soon as the light faded, Clara looked at Angie with a huge grin on her face and hugged her tightly.
"I know who I am now, Angie. I finally know. Well, I guess I always knew who I was in a way, but I didn't know the whole story. It's like . . . It's like being conked on the head and having amnesia for years and then finally remembering out of the blue one day that you're really been someone else your entire life. Am I babbling? I'm babbling, aren't I? Oh, great. That's just wonderful. Not even a Time Lady again for five seconds, and I'm already becoming as bad as he is," Clara said in an excited voice.
Angie pulled away from Clara with fear in her eyes and screamed. Clara immediately felt awful because she knew that Angie didn't understand. She had to try to convince her that everything was alright somehow.
"It's okay. It's still me. I'm still Clara. I'm going to keep that name by the way. I like it and it suits me. I never liked any of my other names anyway. Time Lords have more than one name you know. Sorry. I'm babbling again aren't I?" Clara asked.
"Please just stay away," Angie said as she slowly started moving toward the front door.
"I'd never hurt you, Angie. I consider you a part of my family," Clara said in the gentlest voice that she could manage.
Angie hesitated then and looked deeply into Clara's eyes as she studied them intensely for a moment.
"Clara?" Angie asked.
Clara smiled as she said, "It's still me. I promise."
That was when the Doctor suddenly appeared out of nowhere screaming, "Clara, stop! Don't open that watch! You'll be erased forever if you do!"
Clara rolled her eyes as she said, "Thanks, Doctor, but you're just a little bit too late for that."
The Doctor stared at Clara intently as if he was suddenly seeing her with new eyes now. In a way he was because she was different now in some ways, and yet she was somehow still his Clara in others. She was a combination of two women now, and he loved them both. He always had.
"So how much of you is still Clara?" the Doctor asked almost fearing the answer.
Clara put a comforting arm around Angie who was now hesitantly moving closer to her as she said with a huge smile, "I'm pretty much all Clara. I say when you have a good thing why spoil it, eh? I'm not changing anything if I can help it, Chin Boy. I'm perfect just the way that I am."
"Really? Even with that nose and the whole being too short thing that you have going on?" the Doctor joked.
"Shut up. Like you can talk with that Launchpad that you call a chin sticking out of your face there," Clara said as she playfully punched him in the arm.
"Oi!" the Doctor protested even as he continued smiling.
"Clara, are you alright?" Artie asked as he slowly walked toward her.
"I'm fine. Don't worry," Clara said as she motioned for him to come to her.
"So you're an alien?" Artie asked.
"Yeah, I'm a Time Lord like the Doctor is. Is that alright?" Clara asked both children with a worried look on her face as she waited for their reaction.
"Cool!" Artie said happily.
Angie looked at her hesitantly as she said, "It's a little hard to take right now, but I think I'll be okay with it eventually."
Clara smiled and kissed her forehead as she pulled both children close to her and hugged them. The Doctor smiled at her and was happy that things had worked out between them.
"Being exposed to my timestream must have reawakened your own memories of being a Time Lord. No wonder you said that you didn't know who you were while you were inside there. You were starting to remember that you were someone other than Clara Oswald. I should have known that it was really you somehow. I just thought that it was a coincidence that you looked so much like my old friend because I could never find any evidence that you were anything else. I never did see a fob watch anywhere. I'd really like to know where that was by the way. It's also no wonder that I liked you from the moment that I first met you and felt so much affection for you. It wasn't just because of who you looked like. Somehow I must have subconsciously sensed that it really was you. In fact, I bet that's why you're the only other person who the TARDIS will let open her doors by snapping your fingers. She must have figured out who you were before I did," the Doctor said with a huge smile on his face.
"So who are you?" Artie asked.
"Clara," Clara said trying to deflect his question.
The Doctor looked at her in surprise but found that he liked it. He didn't want to lose the part of her that was Clara so if she insisted on being called Clara then that was what he'd call her. He still couldn't help but wonder why though.
"No, who were you before you were Clara, and how did you pretend to be human anyway? I've seen pictures of you as a baby. How does that work? Is it some kind of Jedi mind trick?" Artie asked intrigued.
Clara laughed as she said, "No, I really was a baby. Time Lords can change the age of their bodies at will. This time I became a baby, and then my TARDIS turned me into a human with no memories with a machine that we have called a Chameleon Arch. Then it made sure that my human Mum and Dad found me and thought that I was theirs. This is so weird thinking of myself as an alien."
"Why would you want to be a human for when you could be an alien? I'd never want to be a human if I had a choice. Humans are boring," Artie said.
"What are you talking about? Humans are wonderful. You're all so much better than you think that you are. You're practically unstoppable when you get it in your minds to do something and so wonderfully adaptable to every situation. That's one of the reasons why you're my favorite species," the Doctor said proudly.
"You know I can actually remember a time when humans weren't allowed on Gallifrey. That was ridiculous, wasn't it? I always agreed with you that humans had the potential to be a truly great species. From what I've seen traveling alongside you, I'd say that you were right all along. I bet that inflates your ego nicely doesn't it, Chin Boy?" Clara said with a huge grin.
"It's always nice to be right. Then again I'm pretty much always right," the Doctor said smugly.
"You certainly haven't changed since we were kids. You're still just as insufferably arrogant as ever," Clara said laughing.
"Wait a minute! You know each other from before? You grew up together?" Angie asked in disbelief.
"And you somehow met again not knowing who she is to you? Who is she anyway? Is Clara your wife?" Artie asked in an excited voice.
Angie's eyes widened at that as she asked Clara, "Are you his wife?"
Clara and the Doctor both blushed as she said, "No! No, we're just friends. That's all. It was entirely platonic. We never even kissed. Well, one of my echoes kissed him, but I didn't know who I was then. She wasn't really me anyway so it doesn't count. Still it was a nice kiss though. I never knew you had it in you, Doctor."
Clara smiled at the Doctor with a sly grin on her face that quickly vanished as she realized what she had said. Her face turned completely red with embarrassment as she said, "I don't know why I said that. My mind must still be mixed up from opening the watch. That's it. It's the watch."
"Boy, you really are still Clara, aren't you?" Angie said rolling her eyes at her.
"So you're just friends? Are you sure that you're not something more?" Artie asked playfully.
Both Time Lords blushed again as the Doctor said, "No, I love her dearly, but we were only ever friends. She was my best friend though. She was the one that I could always trust with everything, and I could always go to her whenever I was upset about something. Somehow she always brought out the best in me and seemed to have a calming effect on me no matter how angry that I was."
Clara smiled at him and put her hand on his shoulder as if to say that that would never change.
Clara picked up the story now as she said fondly, "We grew up together since we were Time Tots, and we were inseparable. The Doctor used to call us the Three Musketeers after one of his favorite Earth books."
"Three?" Artie asked.
The Doctor looked sad as he said, "I had another friend too once. I was just as close to him as I am to Clara. They were my only friends, and they made what was otherwise a very lonely childhood into something at least somewhat bearable. He went mad though, and he turned against me. I still think of him as my friend, but he definitely doesn't see me that way."
"Are you two still going at it? You've been fighting since you were kids!" Clara asked in disbelief.
"Yes, but that was just playful roughhousing. This is different. Now, he's always trying to kill me in addition to trying to take over the universe. You haven't heard of what the Master's done since he left?" the Doctor asked in surprise.
"I left soon after you did, Doctor, but it honestly wouldn't surprise me. I always did feel as if he was a powder keg waiting to blow," Clara said.
"I honestly thought that you would go with me and Susan. You did pick out our TARDIS for us after all, and you did a very good job at it at that. I always wondered why you picked that particular one," the Doctor said.
"I don't know. I just had a good feeling about her like she was meant for better things or something. You can see how she's repaid me since though. The Old Cow hates me and after I helped her gain her freedom too! That's gratitude for you," Clara said.
"What were you doing there in the repair shop in the first place though?" the Doctor asked.
Clara smiled mischievously as she said, "I was planning on doing the same thing as you. I stole a TARDIS and fled too."
"Why?" the Doctor asked.
"There was nothing left for me on Gallifrey anymore. I just wanted to leave and find a new life on Earth. You talked about it so much when we were growing up that I thought it would be nice to start all over again there as someone else. You know what? You were right. I love being me. Being Clara Oswald is so much better than who I was before," Clara said happily.
"Who were you though?" Artie persisted.
"It really doesn't matter does it? All that matters is that I'm Clara now," Clara said in an upset voice.
"Clara, are you alright?" the Doctor asked in concern.
"I'm fine. I'm always fine," Clara said.
"That's my line, isn't it? What happened? Why did you leave right after I did for? I always thought that you were happy," the Doctor said in confusion.
"I just wanted to start all over again and do something new. Why are you making such a big deal about it for?" Clara asked growing more emotional by the moment.
"It's not. It's no big deal at all. I'm sorry. It's none of my business. I just worry about you. I always worried about you because you're so special to me both then and now," the Doctor said as he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead.
"I really am okay now. I promise. I love being Clara and I'm happy. I'm happy just to be with you again," Clara said.
"Are you sure? You'd tell me if there was something bothering you, right?" the Doctor asked.
"Of course I would. We never kept secrets from one another on Gallifrey so why start now?" Clara asked.
"Good because I only want the best for you," the Doctor said as he continued to hold her.
"I know," Clara said as she closed her eyes and rested her head on his chest with a peaceful, serene expression on her face.
"Is he blind?" Angie whispered to Artie.
Artie shrugged his shoulders. He didn't even understand human grown-ups much less alien ones.
Clara smiled at them and at how perceptive that they both were. They already knew that she loved him even if he still didn't after a thousand years.
She had always loved him, but he had never noticed her at least not in the way that she had wanted him to. She was always just a friend to him and nothing more than that. Then he fell in love and got married to someone else while she tried to move on. She never could though.
She took solace in the fact that at least she was still a part of his life, and she could still see him on occasion when she wanted to. Then he even took that away from her when he left Gallifrey and became a renegade. She had started to go with him, but he and Susan were in such a hurry that he never even asked her. She didn't try to impose herself on them either since she wasn't sure that Susan would appreciate someone who wasn't family coming along with them. After that, she just wanted to become someone else, anyone else, so that she could forget the man that she was sure that she would never see again.
Somehow though, they had magically found their way back to one another yet again. She wondered if it was the Doctor's TARDIS paying her back for choosing her as the one that the Doctor picked when he left. Anything was possible she supposed.
All she knew was that she was going to make the best of this second chance that she had been given and would continue to travel with him as Clara and if a friend was all that he wanted then that was what she would be.
She could dream though, couldn't she? She could still dream that someday she might be something more.
After all if he could find her again and become her best friend twice just by pure chance that must mean that it was meant to be, right? Maybe someday he would finally wake up and see her at last. Maybe someday he would finally notice.
She was the Impossible Girl after all so maybe she could work her magic and pull off the impossible one last time when it mattered the most to her. Maybe she could actually get something that was glaringly obvious to everyone else through that thick skull of the Doctor's.
Until then though, she was content just to be traveling through time and space by his side at last, and if she had her way she was going to stay there forever. She was no longer Alura of the House of Heartshaven. She had been reborn now and from this point on she was Clara Oswald forevermore. Unlike her previous self, Clara had a whole new life of possibilities opening up in front of her at last.
Maybe this time she and the Doctor would finally get it right. She had to believe that because as Clara she had learned the one lesson that Alura never had.
Nothing was impossible.
There it is. I hope you liked it. I love reinventing Clara and yet still trying to keep her the same Clara that we all know and love. Hopefully I did a good job at that and I hope that you liked it.
If you liked the Alura version of Clara maybe I could show her again somewhere. Please let me know what you thought.
