It was sunny on the day of Cutter's funeral. Something about that made Connor want to both sob and laugh at the same time. Cutter's personality had been warm - no, he'd been fiery, like the flames of the sun. Cutter wouldn't want a cold, rainy funeral. Somehow Connor knew this implicitly, without a doubt, that if this had to happen… if Cutter had to be dead… the funeral would be held on a sunny day with not a cloud in the sky. Somehow, knowing about the sun's importance here, and the amusement from recounting all the happy memories… it didn't really help, not at all. Connor wanted to curl up in a ball and cry, only he would not. He placed a flower on the coffin , hand trembling. He helped lower it into the grave, even thought it made his muscles ache. They went home, and tried to go about business as usual in the flat. Abby knew Connor wasn't okay when he trembled so hard he dropped his mug, watching numbly as it shattered at his feet. She knew he would eventually be alright when he broke from his daze after she accidentally stepped on a piece, and carefully removed the shard from her foot, being as selfless as ever.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxx
The headstone came on a snowy day, and even though he had a horrible cold, Connor bundled up and joined the others at the gravesite. He hadn't been able to stay, had ended up fleeing to the car before the headstone was uncovered. Abby stayed, placing the flowers that Connor had bought, on the grave, before murmuring goodbye to their friends, and taking Connor home. They sat on the sofa together and cried, and in the morning things went back to a semblance of normalcy. Abby knew Connor would be okay.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxx
Another warm, sunny day a year and a half later, and Connor lay the flowers by the grave, and then sat crosslegged on the grass. After a moment of staring at the gravestone, he closed his eyes, the corner of his lips lifting slightly as tension vanished from his body. Cutter had always been able to calm him down. It seemed that the same held true even after death… though for the first year… it had been much harder. He wasn't over Cutter's death… he'd just realized that avoiding the grave would do him no good. For the past few weeks, he'd come and brought flower, and sat by the grave. Sometimes he talked, telling Cutter about what was going on in his life. Abby had accompanied him the first time since they'd returned from the cretaceous, a few months ago. It was after the nearly catastrophic events of New Dawn, after Abby had proposed, after they'd saved a trainful of people and a herd of herbivorous dinosaurs from each other. He hadn't wanted to go, but she'd persuaded him. Ever since, he'd visited Cutter's grave every other week. Abby told him it would be okay. Finally, Connor thought he could really believe that.
"I miss you, Professor. I hope you're proud of me, and I hope you like the fact that if me 'n Abby ever have kids, we'll name one after you." Connor chuckled, eyes still shut as tears trickled down his cheeks despite the smile on his face.
~Fin.
