Love Can Hurt

Chapter 1 The Pains of Being Gone


Samantha Shepard sat alone in the mess with a cup of coffee, not wanting to be near anyone right now, and glad it was the night shift and it was only the skeleton crew. Not since…Kaidan. She felt herself shutter at the thought of what happened back on Horizon.

"Why didn't you didn't contact me?!"

"Kaida-"

"No Shepard, I thought we had something real! I loved you! And now you're working for Cerberus, you betrayed the Alliance and you betrayed me!"

"Kaidan, please liste-"

"No, I wanted to believe you were alive, to be with you again but I won't work for Cerberus. You've changed Shepard, goodbye and good luck."

Tears sting her eyes and she profusely rubbed her eyes to keep the ones that fell off her face. She got up and left the table, not having had one drink of her coffee, and went towards the elevator, hitting the captain's cabin button in the process. She might as well try getting a little sleep.

.0.

Garrus turned in his small bed in the main battery. He couldn't stop thinking about happened Horizon. How hurt she must be feeling. Anger went through him, towards Kaidan. How could he do that to her, the Bastard! He shot up from his bed and punched the wall. He immediately regrets the action as pain shot through his hand. He growled in frustration while holding his now injured hand walked out of the main battery to get pain killers. He stopped his walking as he heard a sharp intake of breath.

Walking quietly, he peered at the tables only to see Samantha rubbing her eyes, getting up and walking towards the elevator. He walked to where she was once seated and saw an untouched cup of coffee. He felt furious once more but this time kept his cool. He quickly got the pain killers and picked up the untouched coffee and headed towards the elevator.

.0.

Samantha walked into her room and sighed. She pulled her shirt over her head in favor a white tank top instead and quickly changed into shorts as well. She heard her terminal ping, telling her that she had a new message. She walked over to her terminal, only to have that picture of Kaidan show up and remind her of how much he hates her. She felt a mixture of sadness, pain, and anger course through her.

She picked up the picture of Kaidan and felt a tear fall from her face onto the picture. She suddenly yelled in anger and threw the picture against the fish tank. The picture shattered and left a large crack on the fish tank. She sank to her knees in anguish and finally let the tears flow free. She let out a sob and rested her head on her knees, her body shuddering with the sobs.

.0.

As Garrus exited the elevator he stopped and thought of what he was going to say. Hell he didn't know he just knew that Samantha needs support. He was brought out of his thoughts as he heard a yell and a crashing sound. He waited for a moment longer listening. He soon heard sobbing coming from her room. He quickly walked inside, not bothering to knock. He just needed to do…something…whatever it was.

.0.

Samantha heard the familiar swoosh of her door opening and brought her head up to see that it was only to see Garrus with her abandoned cup of coffee, and if she guessed was the turian equivalence to a look of concern. She knew her face was red and puffy from crying, but she didn't care but croaked out, "What do you need Garrus?"

"More like what do you need, Samantha."

"I'm fi-"She was cut off abruptly by Garrus as he said, "No you're not fine Shepard, don't try to fool me with that shit. I know you're hurting just please, let me help you, and if not help then talk to me." By time he said that, he had set down the coffee and picked her up instead and set her on the edge of her bed. He was moving away to sit on her couch but he felt her grab hand and unconsciously felt a feeling of shock run through him he turned and looked at her as she said, "Please, just sit here." Her voice was so quiet and he saw the pain in her eyes, the sadness.

He nodded and sat beside her. Garrus looked at the women he would follow to hell and back, the women he admired and cared about, but that wasn't the women he knew. This was Samantha Shepard, not Commander Shepard, but instead a woman who has seen many things but had also had been through so much pain, more than he could ever imagine. He knew that she was slipping before and tried to help but had been pushed off and he left it alone. She had finally been broken, and it pissed him off to no end. He looked away from her in anger.

He looked back to her, seeing a piece of her red hair over her face; he resisted the urge to push it back behind her ear. "Samantha, I-"She finally just gave up trying to hold it in, and wrapped her arms around him and let the tears fall freely once more. Garrus was her closest friend and she knew that he was right, but didn't want to burden anyone.

Garrus was shocked by this but quickly wrapped his own arms around her, bringing her closer to him. She let her head fall onto his chest. Garrus felt an unknown feeling run through him as Samantha cried on him, but along with this feeling he felt protectiveness and pulled her even closer to him. She was soon on his lap, and she didn't seem to notice.

They sat like that for a while until Samantha felt her tears subside. Unknowingly while she was crying, Garrus had started stroking her hair and whispered sweet nothings into her ear. She brought her head up from his chest and looked up at him and he looked at her. His eyes holding a deep hate for, who she guessed, was Kaidan. "It's not his fault, Garrus." Her voice, soft and quite.

"I don't care. To see you like this just makes me want to kill him, and the only reason I didn't do it on Horizon was because I knew you would be hurt even more. I know you cared about him a lot and don't hate me for saying this but if he really loved you he wouldn't have cared what symbol was on your armor. Again I know it sounds horrible when I say it so bluntly but I'm trying to help you through this pain and hurt, because it's killing me seeing you like this." That same piece of hair was now stuck on her face from crying, and this time he brought his hand up and brushed it behind her ear. Instead of moving it away he let it caress her cheek. In response she put her own hand over his and rubbed her cheek against his hand. That same unknown feeling was back, but he realised that it was love. He loved her and he wanted nothing more than to hold and kiss her, tell her that he wouldn't let anything hurt her again.

Sighing he dropped his hand from her cheek and picked her up again. Knowing that what she still loved Kaidan. She looked at him in surprise but let him do as he wished. He moved the covers on her bed and set her down. He then moved the covers back over her and moved to leave.

Samantha saw Garrus moving to leave and felt…fear? Fear of him leaving? Fear of being left alone again? Whatever it was, it made her reach out and grab his hand for the second time tonight and ask, "Will you stay here tonight? Please? I don't want to be alone." She finished letting go of his hand and over on her side. He turned and looked at her in shock and felt happiness that she wanted him there, that there was a chance that he may be able to love her openly. He walked over to the other side of her bed and set himself down gently onto the bed. He felt Shepard's arms come around his chest and her head also finding its way to his chest. He couldn't resist the smile that formed on his face as brought his arms around Samantha and felt at peace. He felt Samantha's breathing slow and knew she was asleep. He rested his head on hers and whispered, "As long as you let me, Samantha, I won't let anything happen to you." He soon felt his own eyes grow heavy and let sleep embrace him.


AN: So had this bothering me for a few days and I needed to write it down. So I hope you guys like the first chapter and will update when possible. (You have been warned!) Anyway Hope you guys like it and feel free to fav. and review. :D

R&R

-LadyAssassin